I had just witnessed something extraordinary yesterday that got me thinking.

Sometimes no matter how many excuses you give, that you have moved on, that the person you used to love is no longer the person in your mind, the truth is sometimes they come back and sometimes they hit you straight at your heart and you fall down in the most heartbreaking way.

Okay, so I learned this while yawning and putting my head near the air-conditioner because it was friggin hot, which resulted in me having this peculiar dream where a dwarf is serving me coconut shake on a palm beach.

Aaaaaanyway...

It started.... well, it started many years ago, but how should I know when is that actually. But to make it short, it started last Thursday when A said that B is leaving Malaysia. Then BAM! It turns ugly. Seriously, I do want to stab B right on his heart but I got no right to do so. I thought about cancelling "Pandorum" and Olyn's wedding but instead I brought A with me.

Okay, actually I'm a bit haggard right now. I had to work on Friday, then went to Buku Prima's feast so I can see my editor and find out when my novel gonna be published "This January," says he. "I've read it, typical you to sound so spontaneous." he continues. The title for the moment is "NOVEL CINTA" (yes, I hate thinking about titles) and yes, I will be there on next year's book fair at PWTC. I'M BACK, BABY!

Then to PKNS, and straight away to Putrajaya for our meeting (plus makan saki-baki jamuan raya HDC yang Yeh tapau). Since I didn't expect a sleepover, I ended up pinjam baju Nad for the night and for the next day.

Went to watch "Pandorum" and realised half way that I have fallen asleep. Damn. It's not much about that movie being boring. I love the "Event Horizon" meets "The Descent" feel to it, but the to-and-fro that has been going on this week kinda tires me out. My friend was like, "I was so stressed out with all the blood and gore and you fell asleep?"

Yeah, it annoys boys too. Bahahaha. 

I controlled myself from using the toilet since Tropicana City mall got extremely bad toilet system. I mean, that water-comin-out-from-the-jamban is one thing, but some cubicles don't even have them and yet I see lots of girls coming out from it. We were like, "Ugh, this is so not an Asian toilet."

Makes me wonder... if only the boyfriends knew that these pretty little things in short skirts and cute wedges that smell of Chanel and Carolina Herrera actually don't clean their bums... don't let me start about them who threw tissues into the jamban after use. You know, personal hygiene means taking care of the cleanliness of your surrounding too.

I mean, I'm only usin those toilets if I'm in darurat.

So then, it started. It started with a phone call, and we ended up in the Blue Mosque where the phone fight begins and I fell asleep while listening to them. It makes me think, that such feeling sometimes suffocates you in the most terrible of ways. Like a pandorum, it makes you hallucinate, scared and can't think straight. And I hoped that I will never need to be in such position. That I need to wriggle my way out of such tragedy. I do not want to end up suffering entirely - personally and professionally.

Though I love the 'stress sampai kurus' part. Hahaha.

God said that sometimes the things you want the most are the things that are bad for you while the things that you deem wrong is actually good for you.

Allah knows best.