This is my motto in life.

If you're lazy, you have to be smart.
Dumb people can't be lazy. I mean, they can, but they'll be poor for life. If you are not creative enough to cater for your laziness, forget it. Live life like it should be.

So here's the deal. I am always lazy. I may not show it, I may still work hard or wake up every day and go to work, but the truth is I'm just so friggin lazy. That is why I can't work with people. I am too lazy to do almost anything, and that includes fighting with the boss. Freelancing or creating own business seems the best exit. Yes, they need a lot of work, but it's a lot of work suitable for a lazy ass like me.

I mean, have you ever realised why I am a novelist? I mean, working with things that doesn't exist? Yes, that is the job of the lazies. Almost all lazy people become writers. If not, they'll become editors and then other writers will just scuff at them and go, "Pfft, kiss ass."

I was telling mum about something I did in primary school that makes me realise that I have always been this short-cut person. When we were in standard 2 @ sekolah agama, ustazah made us memorise Doa Qunut (which is of course important, because if you do not memorise Doa Qunut, how did you ever do your subuh prayer?). I did mine with utmost difficulty (memorising wasn't really my forte.. I mean, it still isn't), but my pal Sal was having more difficulty than I did. And ustazah made us stand and only people who memorised it can sit down. So in the end, there was only like 5 people standing up and that includes Sal. She was all teary eyed because she can't remember everything (it has 12 lines).

But ustazah wasn't THAT kejam. She let you recite some and you can always look at the book when you get stuck. So I kinda taught Sal to just go and recite one line to her, and then comes back and memorise the other line and so on so forth. Since ustazah was too busy to realise that Sal has been going to and fro like 10 times in the course of her memorisation, Sal ended up passing the test.

In standard 5, I sent the same anyaman I did when I was in standard 4. Art class was really annoying when teachers tend to make you do anyaman every single year, like some annual art thing. Bu the fifth year in a row, I got fed-up (handicraft isn't really my thang), so I took my old anyaman when I was in standard four, erase the evidence of last year's work by scribbling flowers in red ink behind the anyaman, and sent it. In standard four, I got B- for the anyaman. In standard 5, the same thing got me an A- and was plastered on the art board.

From that day on, I learn that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

In high school, I made a barter system with Dinie. She was to copy my Arabic homework and I'll copy her math. In the end, she still doesn't understand balaghah and I am still a math moron. But it shows that I am really good at History - the subject where you learn about 'barter system'.

Before I entered IIUM, dad wanted me to take English Literature or Law. I wrote "BENL" in the first box of my application and "Law" on the second. As soon as my dad left, I erased it and turned it into "HUMAN SCIENCES". Come to think of it, maybe "Law" suited me better. I mean, I'm already full of crap, aren't I?

In IIUM I learn to cope through observing the lecturers behaviour. I pick "Spanish Hapsburg" as my Political History's assignment just because I'm too lazy to go to the library. I took "Methods of Dakwah" with Dr Osman Chuah because I know the drill - IRKHS lecturers just love it when you can put lots of hadiths and Quranic verses in your essays. It doesn't matter that I don't understand his thick chinese accent most of the time, I still aced the subject. Dr Fateh loves it when students quote from other political scientists and Dr Ishtiaq loves people who choose to write Straussian and Neocons instead of the more idealistic political figures. Dr. Zeenath? Learn to quote and compare Plato to Imam Al-Ghazali. You don't have to know everything. You just have to know the right thing.

See, I DO know how to be political.

In CO, I play the poker card. If you can make a poker face, and pretend that you are interested, all's well. Except for the part where I like to argue a lot and apparently bosses don't LOVE fighters...

In NK, well... I am a hardworker there (*cough*cough*). Sorry, I still work there.

But with Munafsya you just can't do that. You're with friends and they know you. They know how you act, how you approach things and how you play your politics. Heck, I can even play the diplomatic card with my dad, but I can't do that with my bestfriends.

In conclusion, I can't be lazy anymore.

Drats.