"Shai, dari aku belum kawin sampai aku dah balik dari Mesir ko tak tukar caller ringtone?"

Indo telenovelas
The thing about staying at home is, your mum will try to convert you into a telenovela obsessed fan. That's why I stayed away from being near the television nor tried to ask what my mum's watching. Just don't ever try to move your eyes from the laptop to the tv. Of the one thing you ask, you will get a long answer that desires you to join the telenovela craze. Like the fact when mum was watching this Indonesian telenovela 'JELITA'. Felt the oddity of a 'dyed-red-haired' poor girl by the name of Jelita, I tried to question its ridiculousness.
"She's poor? And yet she has styled hairdo and dyed it red?" me ask, with a sarcastic tone.
"Oh, she is poor, but she's a model. The rich guy likes her but he thought that the woman who killed his father was Jelita's mum. But the thing is it's not the mother. It's the father, and that's because..."
See, mum is a genius at converting people into telenovela freaks. My sister was influenced by her till she now is obsessed with "Putri yang Terbuang". I am NOT going to be that easily influenced. I hate Indonesian telenovelas.

Diana Danielle and PLKN
True to the hypocrisy of the big'uns of Malaysia, the Pan Asian lass got a special exemption at the moment from PLKN due to her obligation with a contract. Ah? Remember the poor boy who was sued because he failed to show up to PLKN? The fact that he did that because he was too poor and had to work to serve his poor family was never even thought about by these thickheaded morons before they sue his ass off. Now it's "Oh, poor Dee, she got a contract. Let's waive it off of her."
I ain't gonna put this blame on Diana Danielle. She got loads of loath from 17 year olds all over Malaysia at the moment, that's enough for her. Imma give a fuckfinger to the JLKN for this.
JLKN and Censorship Board got one same trait. MAKE UP YOUR MIND! What kind of rules do u guys have?

YES MAN
No, I have yet to watch the movie. But I am turning into one. Senang kata, I am the 'SURE' girl. The claustrophobia transition thing has made me an 'agreeable' person. Like,
"Shai, temankan aku gi amik borang kat JAIS?" "Sure."
"Shai, jom kita gi tengok wayang?" "Sure."
"Shai, jom lepak tido umah aku." "Sure."
"Shai, ko tolonglah sebar2kan fasal tudung-tudung aku ni eh?" "Sure."
Yup. The Sure Shai. Or 'Shuai'. Muahahaha...
Turn back the clock back 2 months ago, semua ajakan ends up with "Bagi aku piker dulu..."

EXCERPTS FROM WHAT I'VE BEEN USING MY CLAUSTROPHOBIC SITUATION WITH:

"Yelah tu, tak ada apa-apa. Aku tanya kau, kenapa tak siap lagi pergi Art Gallery, kau main bucu baju. Mesti ada yang tak kena."

                "Mana ada kau kata kenapa tak siap lagi pergi Art Gallery. Kau tanya, kenapa duduk dekat sini lagi."

                "Haha, Iza. Kau jangan nak guna loyar buruk aku. Aku dah ada copyright untuk loyar buruk tu. Baik kau cerita dengan aku cepat, sementara aku masih terhutang budi dengan kau sebab belikan nasi lemak kukus ni." Ujarku.

                Iza berhenti bermain dengan lengan bajunya, dan kini memandangku dengan wajah yang teragak-agak.   

                "Tadi aku dengan Sham pergi makan tengahari dekat Pyramid. Lepas tu dia terjumpa kawan lamanya." Ujar Iza sambil menggerakkan dua jari telunjuk dan jari hantu kedua-dua tangannya apabila menyebut perkataan ''kawan lama' itu.

                Oh.

                'Kawan lama' memang satu perkataan yang mengancam sesiapa pun. Dan dalam erti kata yang lainnya, ia satu perkataan yang menakutkan apabila ia seperti yang akan ku tanyakan pada Iza ini:

"Teman  rapat?"

                "Kawan baik masa sekolah."

                "Bangsa?"

                "Melayu."

                "Ouh."
                "Pan Asian."
                "Ouh! Lawa?"

                "Extremely hot."

                "Karakteristik lain yang rasanya boleh menggugat kestabilan?"
                "Tinggi, sangat ramah-tamah, dan bekerja di Kedutaan Amerika."

                "Cantik, baik dan bijak." Ku rumuskan, dan mengangguk-angguk sendiri. Dan kembali memberikan tumpuanku kepada makanan yang terhidang.

                "Safi!"              

                "Aku nak cakap apa. She's a triple threat. Kau lupakanlah Sham." Ujarku dan ketawa.

                Iza mencebik. Jelas wajahnya kebuntuan. Sudahlah dalam keadaan hubungan mereka yang tidak bernama, kemunculan seorang gadis seperti yang disebutkan sememangnya membuatkan dia rasa tergugat dan kerisauan.  Dan ia bukanlah masanya untuk aku bergurau.

                "Iza, janganlah risau sangat. Bukannya seolah kalau dah berjumpa tu, Sham dengan the hottie akan bercinta. Jangan cepat sangat buat konklusi. Entah-entah si hottie tu dah ada teman lelaki pun." Pujukku.

                "Ya, terima kasihlah sebab menggelar dia 'si hottie', as if terpaksa menerima yang Sham ada kawan baik perempuan tu tak cukup lagi mengurangkan keyakinan aku, sekarang aku diingatkan berkali-kali yang perempuan tu cantik." Ujar Iza.

                Ku ketawa lagi.

                "Maaflah. Jadi sebab tu saja kau ragu-ragu nak pergi Art Gallery dengan Sham?" tanyaku lagi. Ku alihkan dua keping timun ke tepi, ia hanya merosakkan rasa nasi lemak kukus panas itu dengan kesejukannya.

                "Bukan ragu-ragu. Aku yang batalkan."  

                Ok. Ini bahagian di mana kita harus berhenti mengunyah dan mengalihkan pandangan ke arah sahabat kita dengan gaya dramatik dan bertanya,

                "Kenapa?"

                "Tak tau. Tapi firasat aku macam suruh aku batalkan." Ujar Iza, mula bermain dengan lengan bajunya, sambil tunduk merenung meja makan.

                "Supaya Sham tau kau cemburu?" tanyaku pendek.

                "Mana ada aku cemburu. Kenapa nak cemburu pula? Lagipun, aku siap beritahu dia untuk ajak Eliz… oh ya, nama perempuan tu Eliz… maksud aku tadi, aku yang cadangkan dia ajak Eliz tu pergi, jadi dia dengan Eliz boleh catch up on things." Jawab Iza.

                "Eliz? Kau pasti ke perempuan ni betul wujud? Cantik, baik dan bijak dengan nama yang sedap? Macam tak realistik aje." Ku ketawa lagi, tetapi lekas ku usaikan tawa itu apabila ku lihat Iza merenungku tajam.

                Berdehem dan membetulkan suara.

                "Za, kau batalkan dan kau cadangkan dia bawa Eliz pergi Art Gallery tu. Itu macam tahap cemburu yang sangat tinggi. It's called denial dan kau cuma buat mamat tu makin keliru." Jelasku.

                "It's bad?" Iza nampak risau.

                "Tak. Pada aku itu bagus, kalau kau nak buat dia rasa terancam, kalau kau nak buat dia rasa yang dia dah hilang genggaman pada kau. Bagi dia keluar dengan perempuan macam Eliz, nampak macam kau tak cemburu dan tak kisah langsung. Tapi, sekarang ni kau yang susah hati. If you're playing a game, you gotta play it right."

                "Aku tak main-main."

                "Nampak? Sebab tulah kau sekarang ni tengah menyesal, sambil main-main lengan baju, dan temankan aku makan. Tapi sebenarnya otak kau tengah fikir apa yang Sham tengah buat sekarang, sama ada perempuan tu akan pakai baju yang cantik sampai Sham terpesona. Lepas tu kau fikir pula, sama ada Sham akan ingat dekat kau sekalipun ada Eliz si hottie dekat sebelah dia. Lepas tu…"

                "Aku malaslah nak cakap dengan kau ni, Safi." Si gadis berlalu ke biliknya.

                Aku ni pun satu hal. Saja-saja menyimbah minyak ke dalam api yang marak.

               

I was massaging my neck after staring too long at the screen, and suddenly felt something weird. So I rub it off my skin and realised that it's dried blood. Coming from my neck.

Hmmm. That's new. If you realised that I am drawn to your neck and have longer fangs than usual, please notify me. I may have been bitten by Jasper Hale for all I know (jokes about Edward Cullen are sooo lame nowadays, had to find another vampire example). I'm still not sure where did it came from. My head, my neck or my shoulder. Somewhere 'out there' (meaning the part of my body that are invisible to my own eyes), I must have some weird painless injury.  

I had a meet n greet with my publisher and other writers, the one thing I am unimitigatedly bad at - "MINGLING". Sometimes I feel like, how did I ended up becoming a human being, what's with such extremely bad social interaction? Or... how did I end up being bad at social interaction when it's not forced upon me? I mean, come to think of it, when I was in high school, I was not this painstakingly shy person. I don't talk much, but at least I can go in front of the class and just present without needing too much preparation. Same with being in IIUM. I always pride myself for being the girl who has no qualms talking about foreign aid and investments in Ataul Huq's lecture. I was cocky about it. But now?

Even a question like, "What's the new title for your book?" made me go "Err..." I answer every single question with smile or frown or smirk or any facial expression that can substitute words known to men. Or sometimes no facial expression at all, in which the former employer called "Syahida's poker face".

So, in the MnG session, I spent more time hiding behind Kak Siti's shadow, though come to think of it, in terms of becoming a writer, I would be her senior (in terms of success, she's waaaay more senior than moi). I was more comfortable talking to the editors (and sometimes at bookfairs, with the designers). Heck, I am even more comfy being around our GM. Not that I don't like talking to other writers. They're friendly people. It's not them. It's me. I'm retarded. That's why most of my friends are friendly talkative lot. It's easier to be around talkative people because they talk and ask questions. And I based my conversations on what they ask me. The more they ask, the more I talk. And if the question hits the jackpot, then I will suddenly turn into this talkative monster who can't stop. It's like a gate. There's a key to open it. My bestfriends know how to make me talk. At CO, it would be Wahi (and that's because he talks like there's no tomorrow) and Kak Ani.

And maybe Matthew MacFadyen. But he's married. Ha.

But when it comes to YM/MSN chat, I am good at it. Really. If human being talk through fingers, I can confidently say I'm like the Anwar Ibrahim of chats... ngahahahaha... verbally, I'm like Pink Panther. Have you ever heard the pink panther talks?

I rest my case.   

I don't have any pics from the Meet n Greet session cuz poor people like me have no cameras (nor driving license, nor sense of closure, come to think of it). For more, try find it in Berita Harian or any of Karangkraf magazines later next month or something.

In a shorter note: 

i) I kept seeing Steve Irwin on Animal Planet channel. I mean, how long has he been dead? Can't the channel let us 'miss' him before showing all his shows? From the day he died until now, it didn't feel like the guy's gone.

ii) In the light of PFM's new suggestion to FINAS that all Hollywood movies in cinemas shud be priced at RM20, lemme tell you, I sokong it 110%! You do that... I'm all for it... (sambil mendail nombor telefon pirated dvds sharks).

iii) Mawekins should not be called 'Raja Sehari. 3 wedding receptions! That's "Raja 3 Hari". The amount of ad in ASTRO about their wedding? That would make them "Raja Berhari-hari". I stop watching ASTRO Ria nowadays cuz i'm sick of it. Not their fault, you can't blame people when they're too popular for their own good. But seriously, the filthy business of SMSing Mawekins to say congratulations? And need to pay 50cents per SMS for it? What's the world coming in to? If you ask people to put 50cents into those transparent cases at McD or KFC they'll be like, "Oh you can't trust these people. They won't give the money to orphans like they're saying. They will use it for themselves." Uhuh, ahah. How about the 50cents you give to say "Moga berbahagia ke anak Cucu, Mawi and Ekin!"? Any orphans are fed through that? I mean, yeah, Mawi's half an orphan but that doesn't count.

iv)  I am having one of those claustrophobias. Tim said it's the transition from working life, to working life without an office, nor working hours, nor colleagues (actually I have. It's 9.30pm to 6am... as opposed to the am-pm in ofc). I am thinking of crashing Mun's office so I will have that aura of an office - at least Lan and Mun can pretend that they're Zee and Swee (but then again, they can't possibly make extreme porn jokes like those two), or Marea and Marcel, or Kak Ani and Vinsen. But then again, I need to get used to this. As much as I love to play JAIS around those two, I need to move around a bit. Tim suggested that I follow her to Sabah. Cool. Too poor to do that, but cool.  

v) Do you realise how I don't discuss about the 'Bush got shoe-ed in Iraq' issue? That's because the person that I would like to see get shoe-ed is actually Condoleezza Rice. Come here to Malaysia, and I will throw her killer heels buatan Gombak (no point throwing expensive Pradas at someone you hate). I don't have any, but I sure would buy one just to do that.  

Wow, I spent thirty minutes of my time doing flixter personality quizzes that are bollocks in every sense of the word (I mean how can one be Rhett Butler in one quizz and get Scarlett O'Hara in another?)... I must be reaaally bored.

I lost them.

My "Noroi" and "Once". Do you know how hard it was to get those two movies? Now I lost both. I'm damn sad.

I also lost some memories. You know how awkward it is when you saw one of your acquaintance with another guy, who turns out to be her new squeeze and then you wanted to ask her about the former squeze and you were like,
"Hey, so... what happened to... I mean..." then have this inside your head:
Who was it? Eric? No, that's not his name. Jason? But that's Jill's boyfriend... eyh, no, Jill's bf would be... who was it again? Omigod, I once tumpang his car and now I can't even remember the poor chap's name. And, who IS Jason anyway? Whatever. Was it, let's see... Bryan? No, that's Swee's squeeze... Sebastian? That's Grace's husband... Darren? Aaron? Isn't that Yuen's brother... Whuttafuck is the guy's name?

Ah, screw it.

I also lost the will to write after non-stop writing from 9pm until azan Subuh yesterday, so I decided to google my own nickname 'SHAI' and see all the other Shai's out there.
So far, it just made me feel weird.

1. Shai - the deification of the concept of fate in Egyptian mythology. Also known as the God of Fate....
God of Fate...? I can't even tell my own fate let alone.... ah, screw it.
2. Shai (the band) -an early 1990s R&B/soul quartet with hits like "If I Ever Fall in Love", "I Don't Wanna Be Alone" and "InshaAllah" feat. a German rapper.......
Hmmmm...
3. SHAI (pre-MOSSAD) - Sherut ha'Yediot ha'Artzit or National Information Service.... secret service and counter espionage pre-state Israel.
Ugh... that's a disgrace to my own belief in Palestinian Freedom.
4. Shai Hulud - Some weird suicidal we-hate-the-world progressive/metal/hardcore band playing at 'The Progressive Damnation' and 'Wisdom in Chain' Tour, and influenced by other music like Iron Maiden and Propagandhi...
Yup... hardcore. Like my nose when it's phlegm season. Sigh.
5. Shai Lee - Porn actress.
We are not discussing her. End of story.

Oh yeah, CONGRATULATIONS Dr Abdul Rahman Tang Abdullah, for being awarded with the IIUM Achievement Award. Yeah yeah I know he can't read this unless I can do a braille blog (how to make a braille blog? Or a braille blog in chinese. Sooo impossible), but I'm proud for being one of your students! I learn so much, especially on how to call other people 'idiot' and to laugh at my own weaknesses. Ha! (Benda lain yang diajar, benda lain yang aku dapat). I missed his classes... or how he called a certain someone 'Bodoh dan naif!".  

Last Tuesday, my and my friends decided to go out, all four of us, before Nad go for holiday in Singapore and Tim returns to Sabah. Seriously, why are the people around me makin menjauh? Mengapa, Tuhan? Mengapa? (poyo dramatik. Saja-saja nak dijadikan cerita, kan... akaka). But since none of us wants to hang out in these place which is called "cinemas" & "shopping malls", we decided to do dinner at Kedai Kopi (which is a name of a restaurant... TM) near the Shah Alam mosque, and then lepak dekat dataran.

Seriously, THAT is more fun than anything else. Just take of our shoes and walk about. No need any tikar getah, nor picnic basket, just us and the soggy field (it was after rain). That place is heaven in itself, as it feels like those years before the creation of Play Stations and ASTRO. I mean, there are people playing badminton, kids running around, a mother helping her baby with her first step, big shiny cars showdown, pasangan bercinta yang memang best kalau kena tangkap dengan JAIS, and some people loafing around. But there were only us, lepak tengah-tengah padang and reminisce about the old days at SMKAKS and ghost stories (dah namanya budak2 SMKAKS, kalau takde cerita hantu, maksudnya you have not BEEN in SMKAKS enough).

Pukul 11 je blah, sebab ibu mengandung bernama Nadiah tak boleh dibiarkan berembun lama-lama. Haha...

Eh, sesiapa yang ada nombor telefon baru atau nombor telefon yang aku tak tau, sile jangan 'missed call', ye. Saya ni memang tak akan call balik la nombor2 yang tak ku kenali dan menganggapnya sebagai 'salah nombor'.

"You are borin. You need exercise." Says the colleague.
"You're still doing the job for the office?!" the friend ask.
"Sampai bila, Shai?" the blogger once nag.
"Life's a bitch." says the guy in Stephen King's novel.
"I got no life." I once told Firdaus.

Seriously. I think what I really need is a life. A real selfish life. A story. A drama. Of my own. Yup, Fariz was right (somewhere out there, Farizzet goes "Huh? Who say my name?" Ha.). I need to just open the gate. I need to get hurt. I need to be saved from all this comfortable position I am in and to be pushed down the jagged edge. I need to throw away all my hostility, my jaket keselamatan, my hair.

Huh? My hair?

I need a haircut. And I don't mean shoulder-length layered hairstyle like I did last time when I say I need change. i mean, a REAL haircut. Boy-cut. Cut away all the Rapunzels, do a Fraulein Maria hairdo, feel the breeze kissing my neck. My hair is my safety net. It represents everything that I don't want to deal with. I know that. I don't want to cut it short because I am scared that I would love it so much that I don't want to have my hair long again. Or I'm scared that i would hate it so much that I would regret cutting it. I'm scared that if I cut my hair, people will see the scars behind my neck, or the fact that I have chubby cheek, or that I got big ears or any weaknesses that may or may not be there. I'm scared that if I cut it short it would be uncomfortable to wear a tudung, or that I may need to wear anak tudung. I'm scared it might make me pretty, as much as I'm scared that it might make me ugly.

I am too comfortable at the moment.

I have done my own leap of faith with my career. I am now what I wanna do. I once wrote an essay when I was in Form 3, that "I want to become a freelance writer." I am now. I am blessed, that God grant my wish. (I also said one day Imma marry someone from a different country/race, but the last time I met a Norwegian, I knew that was a stupid wish. Retract. Haha). I need to do the same with my personal life. I. Need. A. New. Chapter.

Like my novel.

This is the problem when you got too much time to think. I also have consistency issue. I mean, I can be very determined when i want to, but I got no istiqamah. I said I wanted to quit.  Voila, I did quit. I said I won't do any freelance for CO. But still, my... body... is... yearning... for... press... previews...

Nad, help me...

Oh yeah, by the way (saja2 lari dari menyelesaikan kehidupan sendiri), belilah tudung Nad & Yeh. Best tul pakai. Rase macam tak pakai. Haha. Like this one:


This tudung is sooooo comfortable, balik rumah pun rasa taknak bukak. Go to http://nellyshop.blogspot.com for more.   
 
"You're too preoccupied with solving people's problem, you neglect to have your own." another friend said.

Takde... takde.. aku cuma nak iklankan tudung Nad je... huuu...

Dialogue of the day
"Sebenarnya kan Tim, aku dengan boss aku ada pertalian."
"Boss yang mana?"
"Vinsen."
"Pertalian apa?"
"Pertalian darahlah."
"Ye ke? Bos ko tau ke? mana ko tau ni?"
"Yelah, kita sama-sama keturunan Nabi Adam..."
"................................. haha, bangang, aku terkena! Mesti lama ko nak piker lawak tu, kan?"
"Tak la lama. Yang lama tu memikirkan nak guna nama siapa yang boleh buat ko terkejut. Hahaha."

(Am updating blog in CyberCafe. Have a Madras feel to it, being serenade by Tamil songs... saeriously Cyber Cafe dude, change the keyboards. They look like keyboards from a Friday 13th movie)

This is me and my family's favourite past time. Watching a bad movie and make fun of it. These are the three of our most favourite movie of all time.

1. Mendam Berahi
Malaysia's worst Charlie Angels wannabe. bad acting, bad effect, bad soundtrack. Out of three of the angels, only Rita Rudaini survived the curse and became a better actress

2. Cinta Fotokopi.
The outcome of a ridiculous idea of reuniting Khai and Zarina. Extremely bad acting from Zarina who tries to seduce guys in the ways of a transvestite. Horrendous wigs.

3. Rahsia Hatiku
The second malay movie ever in colour. Due to being 'jakun warna', every single thing in the movie was colourful, except for the actors. Horrifying acting by the cast, led by Sharifah Hanim.Check out the scene of the dying girl. Hillarious! 

I was watching the show 'Busana' on TV9.
Of course I have issues about it!
In this week show, they 'teach' you how to choose a handbag. I was like, what? Seriously? There was the "Untuk tubuh yang langsing, sesuai untuk memakai beg tangan yang lebih lebar." and then "Anda juga boleh memilih beg tangan sesuai dengan warna pakaian anda." And then they showed a girl who hang her big handbag bawah ketiak and say "This is the wrong way to wear it" and show the right way, which is to hold tangkai beg itu dengan ringannya menggunakan jari.

I was like, kepala hotak kau la... last time I watch Malaysia hari Ini, the cute sergeant cop guy tried to show women how to hold handbag safely.... by kepit bawah ketiak, and to hold it opposite the  road. Now a fashion program told you that's the wrong way to wear it. Yeah, right. I'd rather listen to the cop rather listen to a fashion program. Fashionista or no fashionista, if a peragut nak ragut beg ko, pegang dengan jari melentik tu macam calon paling best je untuk jadi mangsa ragut.

And then they were like, "Memakai beg ini (big coach bag) amat sesuai bagi mereka yang berpinggul besar, kerana ia boleh menutup kekurangan."

Kekurangan? Wow... I mean, this is the issue with women magazine or women program. Today they tell you "You have to cherish your body shape and not be embarrased about it." tomorrow they gonna advertise bags and tell you "This bag can cover your huge embarrasing ass." Stop making confusing statement. This is my advice. Easy. Women, wear what you want, as long as you don't look like sluts, eat what you want, as long as it's halal and not hazardous to your health. Cherish your man, as long as you keep your dignity in check. Always balance. Not too little but not too excessive. See? THAT easy.

Lemme tell you how I choose a bag. Aku naik bas. Kadang-kadang bas lambat. Kadang-kadang it would be too crowded and you won't be able to sit. So my bag should be big enough to hold a novel, telekung and a notebook among other essential stuff. It should have at least two hidden pockets for pens and small stuff, dua poket sisi so I can just slid my bus tix in there, one zipped pocket duit kecik, and one buttoned front pocket for easy-reach to my business cards. It must have tali yang extendable, so I can gantung on my shoulder when I wear baju kurung, or I can selempang across my body when I am wearing casual. Voila, the most perfect bag. Will it hid my huge ass? Who cares. Pakai jela baju yang labuh, then tercoverla punggung itu. Apa nak piker susah2. 

Aye... 

Pengakuan bapak aku yang mak aku gelak bagai nak mampos.
"Aku, kalau pelakon melayu ni aku suka tengok Eman Manan, Shukery Hashim... tapi aku paling menyampah tengok Jalaludin Hassan. Kalau perempuan lagi la aku tak minat. Tapi kalau Ogy tu walau orang kata over acting aku rasa okay lagi. Rita Rudaini ke, Jasmin Hamid ke..."
My dad likes Rita Rudaini?
Ahahahahahahahaha... that IS hillarious.  

Oh yeah, I have a message for one newspaper. STOP STEALING MY REVIEW, DAMNIT! You think you wrote it in Malay I would not realise that IT IS STILL MY FILM REVIEW! "Buku yang dipenuhi pelbagai episod", "versi pendek filem berkenaan (Gone with the Wind)" and "...nilai tinggi jika dibingkaikan..." I'm cocky about my writing. STOP COPYING IT!

Oh yeah, by the way, my internet connection is at its worst nowadays. Anything, please call my celly instead, cuz it would be no YM no MSN for at least until I can sort this dumb streamyx issue (which I presumme would be tomorrow... mamat2 keje teknikal streamyx dah naik kenal dah dengan aku. There's Khairul the low toned guy, and there's Amri the patient dude.... sigh.... macam-macam ada...)

Uuuu... I have not been updating my blog for three days. That's new.

Had an eventful day. My last day at CO was like any other day except for the fact that it is my last day. Terharu sikit when Adam and Fir ajak keluar lunch to celebrate my last day. So, yup, from 13 months I worked in CO, that was the second time ONLY that I went to have lunch at GIANT, Kelana Jaya, together with Firdaus, Adam, Maria, Kak Ani, Melissa and Swee Wei. Adam even reminded me to write a goodbye email. Ha. So I wrote a long one, biar baca sampai muntah. Maria gave me a dramatic farewell hug with the additional "Who will eat all the maggi in the pantry now...." wailing (ahaha), Swee Wei joined the dramatic farewell hug too and was happy with the token of rasuah I gave her (daym, I'm good at guessing what people want... ngahahaha),, and so did kak Ani. Shirley asked me to miss her. Vinsen extend his long hand for me to shake... no, seriously, I was finishing my work when suddenly a hand appears in front of the screen, nearly shocked me to death..... okay, I exaggerate. Zee said the weirdest 'goodbye' words, and Firdaus looked at me unconvinced when I told him that I can live off writing novels.

Ahahaha.

And Sinema (or the new name)? I'm sure they can cope with all my previous workload. They don't need to do the hellraiser called 'html-coding' as web dah amik balik the job nor the GIMP-cropping thingies, and translation ain't that difficult. A walk in the park.  

Then Mun called and told me that both her and the Elyases would come and pick me up. Cool. So we went to Sunway Pyramid, go to TGV and didn't know what to watch, so we picked the easiest show... "BOLT" in 3D. Ugh. I hate 3Ds. Love Bolt though. Too much of A&W Rootbeer Float coupled with the 3D thing and my tiredness of working till the last minute I was in office, I was half floating inside the car after the show. And Nad suggested that we crash her house. So off to Putrajaya we go, disturbing Yeh's peace and right as husband to Nad because according to Mun, "Yeh dah dapat Nad sorang setahun kat Mesir, dia tak boleh merungut."

Yup, marrying one, and you actually have to deal with four, Yeh. Ha, sekarang ada rasa macam nak kahwin empat tak? Tak seronok, kan? Ngahahaha.  

The next day we kinda help Nad with her new tudung Ekin business, which I refuse to call 'tudung ekin' because it does not belong to Ekin, but still have to use the word 'tudung Ekin' because it is known throughout Malaysia as THAT. So, anybody wants a tudung ekin, visit nellyshop at http://nellyshop.blogspot.com where the tudung model is known as Munira Azman. Ha. Then we went to Mun's office cuz Nad wants to cretae her business card, and was trying to decide whether to use Mun's studio to snap some pics of the tudung for the bizblog or not. Pegi makan and meet Lan who just returned from his looong bicycle expedition thingy. Both Lan and Yeh made  jokes that the ladies don't understand except for me, and then they were all making jokes everybody understand except for moi and I was like,
"God, it's like I have a different sex than you guys. Like, there's Male, there's Female. And then there's the Syahida gender."

I am glad these people are those type of people who understand my weird joke. Or else... it would be horrifying.

Oh yeah, I learned a new 'Taubat' gesture from Yeh, who got it from his years studying in Pakistan. Cool symbollic gesture. Imma use it all the time. Haha! Jakun murakab.... (mulalah mencipta perkataan yang tehapehape).

Plans for now....
1. I am going to start my life as a bat again. My head works better in the dead of the night till dawn, so I'm working at those time and sleep only lepas solat Subuh, bangun sebelum Zuhur. Woohooo, way to go, gadis melayu! Pffft.
2. Imma follow Nad to see how Mak Anjangnya manage a nursery school. Learn it, embrace it, and open one. Muahahaha... jangan memandang rendah kepadaku. I can teach arab to kids. say it with me - "rijlun kaki, yaadun tangan, bathnun perut, usbu'un jari...."
3. Pi kursus kahwin dengan Mun. Why? Cuz we got time. Dari pegi tengok bende tak berpekdah, baik gi kursus kawin, kursus memandu, kursus bisnes, ape2la kekursusanisasi yang ade. Ekeke.
4. Tolong2 Nad with her tudung ekin business.. Wow, my friends are all business-minded people who build a company because they have issues working in other people's company.
5. Oh, I need to menjejak ke CO one of these days to pulangkan my colleague's stuff.    

My last review before i left the office - Australia

Zim dah berenti keje.
Hum.
Well, it's not like it makes any difference if Zim is in the office or not. I don't spend time chatting with the guy and the percentage of us talking to each other is close to none. He's the guy in your office yang mewakili that part in any book you read about the types of people in the office that you only interact with when you have a job for him, or when he has a job for you and the occasional sapaan "Belum balik lagi?" and "Makan maggi?"

But still, like when Yat left, or when Veron left, or Mei Fong left, you feel the difference. Like, I have this game I like to call "Lets-humm-a-song-and-see-if-Zim-will-terinfluence-by-it-2-minutes-later-and-try-to-cover-it". It's a fun game, and now I don't have anybody near enough to care to hear what I humm next and terinfluence. Sigh...

Poyo la, padahal kerja sampai hari Khamis je pun.

I was listening to the radio when a guy called the show and said "I am not interested in sexy, pretty beautiful girls. They're all materialistic. I'll go for the normals. They're easier to maintain."

Easier to maintain huh? You know what is easier to maintain? Pisau berkhatan.

It's interesting that guys think that 'normal' girls would feel oh-so thankful or so touched when they say stuff like that. I mean, the fact that they use the word 'easier to maintain' kind of symbolises the egotistical (egotesticle, in other word) arses they are, who thinks that us, normal girls, would feel wonderful to get guys who has no eyes for the pretty ones.

If you want the normal ones, then you go for the normal ones. Don't make corny speeches about how great you are for choosing the plain janes over the Heidi Klums and Giselle Budchens. What should we do? Worship you because you have no eyes for them? 5000 years of becoming the ruling species, and still think that the female species would go bonkers with all the subliminal sexist talk. Grow up. Be a man. Not a sexist kiddo who are smitten by his own 'righteousness'.   

Sweei says: HAHAHA, guess what?
s.Ha.i says: what?
Sweei says: Final destination 4 is now called "Final Destination 4 - Death Trip 3D". wahhhh, not bad not bad. in 3 D
s.Ha.i says: wow, now i can see blood splutter and feel liek they're on my face too? cool
Sweei says: lol, read the funny stuff they talk about in this thread. yeah, cool idea right? horror in 3d
s.Ha.i says: yeah, they shud ave done 'JuOn 3D' and 'The Ring 3D'.imagine Sadako coming out from the well, and out from the tv, and then out of the cinema screen. that wud be awesome.... with lots of heart attack
Sweei says: i knew you'd like it. hehehe, i can clearly sense your sadisticness spewing out from those words
s.Ha.i says: i love gore. if gore is a guy wud marry it..... erkh, dat didnt sound right
Sweei says: omg... hahahahahhahaa. Hey, did u read the forum  about Quarantine?
s.Ha.i says: What about it?
Sweei says: Just them commentng stuff, like how the girl got no boobs
s.Ha.i: Eh? Who ARE this forumers? Zee? 

(Shai sedang menulis blog ini dengan bunyi latar kakak dan bapanya saling berbincang dengan suara yang kuat gila)

Soalan Menarik Minggu Ini... datang dari Wahi dan berbunyi;
"Kenapa bila dah nyawa-nyawa ikan ni baru kau nak datang opis pakai cantik-cantik?"
Jawapan bagi soalan menarik minggu ini:
"Sebab aku baru mampu nak beli baju cantik-cantik."
Pernyataan minggu ini berbunyi;
"Oh terima kasihlah sebab memberitahu yang selama ni aku pakai baju tak cantik."
Respon kepada pernyataan minggu ini;
"Eyh! Sajeeeee je budak Laden ni kan..."

Ngahahahahaha...

Wow, I got another four days to go and Puan Zaiton from DBP already sending me email about new cerpen. Hmm, where did she get the instinct? But cool. At least job number 2 comes my way already.

I had a nice time hanging out with the peeps. Nad's back from Mesir, Tim is still on holiday from Sabah, and Mun... is always here! Ha! Like Mun said, it feels like eternity since we laugh so hard, and I can't even remember what we talked about anyway because we always end all conversations with laughter. I always knew that there's something missing when Nad takde. It feels like ada kekosongan in all those laughs cuz there's no chirpy sound of Nad's. 

I was watcing this one Korean show, some kind of a women show with women representatives from many countries talked about their experiences in Korea with some other Korean beauties. There is also a representative from Malaysia, a Malay girl named Sophia. So in this week's episode, a handsome Korean bartender by the name of Donguk came to the show and expresses his feelings for Sophia while the other girls all went go-on-it's-a-gift-from-God-and-Mohamad on her... and while we waited on the very confused and surprised Sophia to accept him or not, suddenly my phone rang..........

Kacau daun betulla.... aku tengah tengok proposal free ni ade je mengganggu... and turns out to be a guy from a place called True Spa who asked me if I wanna go down to their place for a promotional spa treatment blablabla.... so I asked him where he got my number and my name and he said "From our promotional box. Maybe one of your friends or family became our members and give your number for promotional purposes..."
Uh-huh?
Since when did I have any friends who go to spas? Especially one in SS14...
Then when I said I'm not interested the guy sounds irritated. I was, hey! It's my body, my right to not pamper it! Hum.

Since his success in finding a good job for Aying, my uncle now finds new light in his life - finding a suitor for my sister a.k.a Telangkai/Matchmaker. He has one calon now and said "His name is *Toot* *Toot* *Toot*... and you know about this guy? He was named BY Anwar Ibrahim."
"Uuuuuu...." says I, and laugh hysterically.
"Diam! Kau gelakla sekarang, nanti karang..." my sister threaten.
Before that Paklong was like, "Mungkin lelaki tu pun ada kawan-kawan lain jugak..." while giving me a double meaning look.
"Okk-kayyyy... off topic."
And I turn to my laptop for sanctuary from all this horrifying talk.

"Yang ni nak jugak?" tanya pakkak.
"Ahaha... no thank you. We're only gonna have this discussion 3 years later. I'm fine on my own right now." says I.
"Kalau nak bagi gambar sekarang pun boleh." Paklong joked.
"Okay, Pakkak bagi sampai tiga tahun." says Pakkak.

Drats. Save me. Save me. Anybody.

My dad take on it?
"Khalid (my uncle) macam broker perkahwinan filem Tamil."

Hmmm... suddenly I am craving for a cheese quezo. It's been a while since I make any tapas... and caramel... and chocolate moist cake... Nad asked me will I gain weight again if I work from home, since I am getting thinner since the last time she saw me - which is a month after I work in CO. Hmm... lessee...

Real woman has curves, you know. Ahahahahahaha (alasan standard bila berat badan naik). 

MEREKA YANG TAHU, TIDAK DAPAT BICARA

    "Kapan pun Rahasia Pemahaman diajarkan kepada semua orang
    Bibir-Nya dijahit melawan pembicaraan tentang Kesadaran."
                                                  Jalaludin Ar-Rumi

Dan seperti itulah perasaan aku ketika menonton mereka di kaca TV, melalak dan melolong meminta suara didengarkan. Tidak puas apabila mereka-mereka yang wujud di situ berhenti tunggul menjadi pemerhati. Dan tanpa rasa terima kasih atas bantuan, mereka-mereka itu menuding jari menyalahkan orang lain, kritis dengan sejadah yang dikencingkan lipas, marah dengan jasad tubuh yang tidak lekas dibebaskan.  

Rasa kasihan dan insaf yang menguasai diri mula hilang sedikit demi sedikit, bertukar menjadi satu senyuman sinis dan gelengan kepala. Di kaca TV itu aku melihat mereka mengadu domba akan ketidakadilan dan kelemahan manusia untuk membantu. Tiada rumah untukku di Putrajaya, tiada hotel murah untukku bertapak.

Dan mengingatkan aku.

Si miskin mangsa tsunami dahulu terpaksa bersyukur dengan hanya khemah buruk dan bubur likat yang kuning warnanya. Si kedana mangsa banjir terpaksa akur dengan menggaru-garu kaki mereka yang kegatalan akibat penyakit yang muncul bersama bah yang melanda mereka. Si mangsa keganasan Yahudi di Palestin meletupkan diri mereka demi keadilan yang tidak muncul.

Dan buat yang berharta? Bencana itu waktu untuk kamu kembali melihat ke dalam diri. Melihat ke dalam kuasa Tuhan. Melihat maksud bahawa harta tidak boleh beli satu semesta dan kalau Dia mahu merampasnya, bila-bila masa sahaja kamu akan kehilangan segala-galanya.

Ia satu pelajaran yang amat pahit. Tetapi ia masih satu pelajaran.

Kami ini, si miskin dan kedana sudah sering belajar mengenainya tanpa diberi peluang untuk menuding jari pada sesiapa.   

Kamu diberi peluang untuk menakrif diri, berhentilah menuding jari, kerana satu jari yang diarah kepada kami, empat yang lain menikam jantung kamu sendiri

"Jika sepuluh orang ingin memasuki sebuah rumah, dan hanya sembilan yang menemukan jalan masuk, yang kesepuluh mestinya tidak mengatakan, "Ini sudah takdir Tuhan." Ia seharusnya mencari tahu apa kekurangannya."

I'm with you, Maulana....

-Shai Kamarudin
12.36pm

So here, I compile stuff that I've written and projects I've done in the three months I worked in editorial... except for news cuz I lost track of all of it (or bahasa mudahnye, aku malashhhhh) and I am not very fond of all the news I wrote anyway.... except for the one I wrote about Yeo Joon Han.

My movie reviews:
Angus, Thongs & Perfect Snogging - "...One would hope that a British comedy would have that British wit, and coming from a writer like Louise Rennison, clever dialogues would be essential. However, this reviewer perhaps has hoped too much. Georgia Nicholson is neither funny like her friends tend to believe, nor is she a 'nutter' as Robbie - the guy she's hopelessly in love with, thinks. She is indeed just fourteen, an age where you tend to believe that you are a unique soul..."

The Day the Earth Stood Still - "...Acting-wise, Keanu Reeves as Klaatu is almost believable. Not that it should be something out of the unexpected, as Klaatu is a character of no emotion or facial expression, which should be Reeves' forte (ha!)..."

Wild Child -  "...As a matter of fact "Wild Child" truly is a neither-nor movie. It's neither your regular Disney-esque tween flick, as you have Poppy teaching the other girls how to turn a good piece of dress into a semi 80s hooker get-up for boys and the occasional hints about sex. Nor it has any aggressive tone like Tina Fey's "Mean Girls", as Hollywood still wants to maintain Emma Robert's sanctity as one of the more decent IT-girls before she goes 360-degree and does a "Pretty Woman" like her aunt Julia..."

Body of Lies - "...Russell Crowe returns to the big screen, even uglier than he was in "American Gangster". As pot-bellied Southern CIA veteran Ed Hoffman, Crowe manages to portray Ed as what the character really represents - a classic neo-conservative American who believes in a great deal of U.S. Foreign Policy - that everything should go the American way or the highway, with no respect for others and constant apathy for any casualty..."

Lakeview Terrace - "..."Lakeview Terrace" is a racial thriller drama that is subtle in its presentation. I mean, it will not trigger any angry African American mob led by Al Sharpton nor would it taint Jackson's credibility. However, the movie is predictable to the core. Thirty minutes to the end and you can almost guess what would happen. The movie is very linear with no twist whatsoever..."

Twilight - "...The director is able to balance between the true essences of the book, which is Bella Swan's POV on the matter of her relationship with the deviant Edward Cullen, and at the same time she is able to construct the blind spots that exist in the movie. In this case, it's the emotions of the people around Bella that was missing from Meyer's writing, and of course the fight scene that needed to be added in order to make the movie look like one, instead of the hard copy of a novel..."

Quarantine - "...However, she starts to get better and better every minute and by the time the action starts to intensify, you can smell the fear and paranoia coming from her and it feels very real. You almost want to slap her for being so annoyingly freaked!..."

and other reviews: Burn, Flight of the Living Dead, Quand la Mer Monte, Apa Kata Hati, Arabian Nights, Mamma Mia, The Guard Post (GP506), Boys Over Flowers

My Features in CO site:
Mark the Payne - for "Max Payne"
Revamp(ire) the Romance - for "Twilight"
Not Everybody Lies - for "Body of Lies"
Earthlings, Stay Still! - for "The Day the Earth Stood Still"

My Features for microsite projects:
Max Payne Microsite ("Maximising Payne", "Mark the Payne")
I did this one with almost no contact at all with the Design Team because it was my first microsite and there I was, a complete moron about anything microsite-ish...
IGOR Microsite ("Never IGnORe the IGOR")
This was done quite laju because I read the deadline wrong. I love the Cast and Character part because without needing to explain to Zim how I picture the setting of the pictures, he made the arrows just the way I want it.
Twilight Microsite ("Revamp(ire) the Romance")
I don't feel like I did anything for this since the feature is the same one for CO site. The only addition is the cast and characters. But I'm glad for the fact that Cinema Online helped in 'mempercepatkan' "Twilight" punya release in Malaysia from the supposed March 2009 to December to US release of 27 November through Zee's meddling with Tayangan Unggul (the distributor). I was in no part of the 'heroic' attempt though, as much as Zee keep telling me, cuz he just doesn't want to be the only 'guy' who saved "Twilight", so he pulled me into it.
Australia Microsite ("Nicole Down Under")
This was the most controversial microsite due to all the hoohahs and clashes, and me and the Design team were in moody disposition because we were pushed by deadlines and misunderstandings, and invisible worklist. Which leads to that 'Belasah Kat Simpang' scene by Maria and Zim that cracks me up. But we control our stress by singing "Hey Jude" sesuka hati dalam opis itu. 
Histeria Microsite ("Histeria Frenzy", "Mainstream Lee")
This is the most fun (and most tiring) project. I spent more time on this one since it was my last project, from feature to wordings on superbanner, and I think Zim also put his heart and soul into it because it's also his last design (the whole week we kept pestering each other with work that I think we started to annoy each other). And the result is so awesome. Check out the Cast and Character section. Three hours to get that!

Miscellaneous:
Gallery - "Jangan Pandang Belakang Congkak" (launching of "JPBC")
Cinnamon's Diary - "MBO - My Big Outing" (launching of MBO Terminal 2, Seremban)
Zee & Swee did half of it, so the fact that there's my pic with Cinnamon has nothing to do with me. I am not interested in showing my butt in my company's website.
Interview - "Maximum Musical Impact" (sneak preview for "Impak Maksima The Musical"

I just haven't had the chance to do HOME CINEMA, and my last intention to get to do an interview with Nabil Raja Lawak before I quit tak kesampaian... Wahi thought it would be great if I can get him before I leave. It would draw the Malay crowds cuz he's big and everything. Maybe I can ask from Mai (Harian Metro) his contact, and if she doesn't have it, mebbe I can get Zizan's number instead... but oh well... it's not like my ultimate dream or anything. Pointless task. Aku pun semakin hari semakin malas, tak ada perasaan nak buat apa-apa interesting. Got lots of movie details to be translated, at least finish till January dan yang selebihnya tu pandai2la mereka...

Yosh!!! (clap clap ala Jepun) Let's get on to life after 18th. Hey, if anybody needed any writer/translator, tell them there's a girl called Syahida Kamarudin or formerly known as Shai Laden who can do em. I do ->
Movie reviews, Feature writing, Cerpen, Proofing dissertations, Political articles, Movie-related articles, Socio-political Observation, Crap about People, Any translation from BM-BI, BI-BM, Jokes column pun boleh gak, Any bashing, criticism, things that make people love to hate me, or hate to love me, Biography and anecdotes, book reviews
All in english and Malay, except for proofing dissertations, itu Bahasa Melayu sahaja.

Err... I don't do fashion, lifestyle, health and loft-living though. I'm extremely bad at that. Ha!