I have not touched the internet for three days. Weehoo, a record! Been busy doing unprofittable stuff, and enjoying em.

Saturday.
My sibs and I bawak the lil kids - Shazni, Shazrina and Hazirah (and makcik too, haha) go watch 'Geng' at TGV Mines. Aya was so excited she kept calling my sister to confirm the show. Mines was full with the VD clans, and the 'GENG' tix are all sold out for all mum and kids. 9 y.o Shazni kept talking along the way to the mall, and I was laughing all the way.
Shazni: Kawan abang tu kan, dia tak reti eja 'Rajin'. Dia eja 'R.A.J.E.N'  
Shai: Ala, abang tu pun sama aje, kakngah tengok kad abang tadi... ' Terima Kasi, mak dan ayah'. 'Terima kasiH' la!
Shazni: Hala, itu abang 'terkesilapan'
and then when he saw a temple at the side of the road, dengan pantas dan yakinnya dia retort, "Eh, tu masjid India."....................... kuang kuang kuang...
But I just can't take it, when he saw a necklace with a cross, and said that I am wearing it too and I went "Bila masa kakngah pakai salib?" and dia sebak tudung aku, cuba carik, while the cashier looked at me with a doubtful expression.

Aku rasa dia salah pandang bracelet POTC aku yang ada bentuk sauh tu as salib.

Then Nad called and said that Mun ajak picnic at Putrajaya, so I asked Aying to drop me off at Masjid Putrajaya (hey, couples... berdating depan masjid Putrajaya? NOT cool), so Nad and Yeh would come and pick me up. We went lepak depan tasik at Cyberjaya, sambil makan roti canai dan minum slurpee sampai dada rasa beku. Mun told us that she and Lan were so bored being the only two person in the company, that they started to have an 'imaginary secretary' called 'Kak Qem', whose full name would be 'Puan Qamariah', and every time that they feel too lazy to do admin work, they'll be like, "Takpe, nanti kita suruh Kak Qem buat."

My friends are getting weirder by the sec, ever since Yeh started on that 'imaginary friend' of his - a guy named 'Man' who works in HDC. Every time I said something, he'll be like, "Imma tell Man what you said." So I told them that I have one too. He is called Encik Magi, wears an alternative glass and likes to go backpacking. And every time I am having a writer's block, that is because Encik Magi left me to go backpacking across Europe. Ah, celebrating the insanity...

While I was polishing my nails with a buffer, Mun asked me to do hers, and I said that she doesn't need any cuz her nails are shiny as it is and I asked why the hell she has pretty nails and I don't?
"Oh sebab mak aku kawin dengan bapak aku dan lahirkan aku." katanya dengan muke slenge. And then said that the only way I will have her pretty nails is if her mum marries her dad and got me instead.
"Tapi kalau mak kau kawin dengan bapak kau dan dapat aku, nanti aku yang ada 'isu tragis' kau."  says I.
1-1...

Instead of going straight home, Mun and I slept over at Nad's (after she halau Ehsan dari rumah to go sleep someplace else so we could sleep at his room... tsk... that's Nad's definition of 'nanti aku tanya adik aku'). After chatting for a while, Nad and I went munching snacks downstairs at 2am, so that would be a proof to my mum that I am not under any extreme diet, like she accused me of doing.

Sunday
I followed Mun to her office cuz she has a model to build and to be submitted on Monday. Meet the bunga kobis (in other word - 'Lan' and his after-shower hair. One word, Azlan Salim... 'HAIRCUT') at the office and then we went picnicking dekat belakang ofis diorang, sambil minum-minum and borak tentang kehidupan. Gaaaahahahaha. I told Mun that I am blaming UIA for messin' up my life plan. My plan was to graduate at 22, and have my life complete as I hit 25. But I graduate at 24 thanks to the stupid 1 and a half year at Matrics UIA, and now I'm goin on 26 and the plan is no where intact. Aha.

Then Nad and Yeh came to pick me up, pegi minum air kelapa and then go straight back to Shah Alam. Rasa nak demam....

Monday
Temankan Nad pergi ambik kontrak WHO at Jobstreet. Mun decided to join, and so we went there Shai-style (meaning naik public transport). Pegi JObstreet, then post office, then CIMB, then Maju Junction, and then had a hard time trying to catch a cab.

Jalan Raja Laut, Monday, 6pm... soooo not a time for cab-catching activity.

But we finally dapat rembat satu,tengah-tengah jalan. And it goes like this;
"KL Sentral, pakcik."
"Laaaa.... kamu ni kan.... cubalah pergi Gombak ke Selayang ke, pakcik nak ke sana. Pakcik ni baru balik dari arah Bangsar dengan bersusah payah meredah trafik ni, kamu nak suruh pakcik ulang balik?"
"Alaaaaaa, pakciiiikk.... takpelaaaa, eh?"
"Kamu tengok jalan raya ni. Jem teruk."
(Mun mencebik sambil kuis-kuis lantai dengan kasut) "Halaaaa pakciiiiikkkk..."
"Kamu ni nak ke Sentral nak ke mana?"
"Nak balik. Kitorang balik merata-rata."
"Balik merata-rata?"
"Ha'a. Saya nak balik Putrajaya, kawan ni nak balik Shah Alam, yang ni nak balik Puchong."
"Oooo.... kamu ni... pakcik baru ingat nak balik rumah."
"Rumah pakcik dekat Gombak ke?"
"Yelah, dekat situ. Pakcik ingat kamu nak mengarah ke sana. Jalan jem nak ke sana."
"Oklah, kalau macam tu, jom pakcik ikut saya duduk Putrajaya."
"Hahahahahahahaha..."
Lepas Nad berjaya buat pakcik tu gelak besar, kitorang pun berjaya mengharung jem dan ke KL Sentral. Nad took the ERL, Mun took the LRT and I took the commuter. Sampai aje Shah Alam, terserempak bapak Tim depan komuter, borak kejap fasal Farid's condition. Kata bapak Tim, dalam ada sebelah tangan je tu, still lagi boleh keluar merayau malam-malam bawak kereta!

Hahaha... that's good right? Tandanya dia tak concern about his recent OKU-ness and just living his life the way he did before.    

Rasa demam datang balik.

In another note, I am so gonna miss "American Gladiator" after the grand finale next week. The contenders are one thing, but I kinda love watching the gladiators. My absolute favourite would be the 'Wolf' - cuz he likes to howl and trash talk a lot, like a friggin wrestler.

Tengah dilema... nak gi opis ke tak nak besok... harus gi opis sebelum Kak Mai last day... tapi badanku ini rase tak mampu dah... tahan demam dua hari, tula akibatnya... Oh yeah, Kak Ani, congrats on the good news, harap it's a girl this time around? Tee heee....

Check out dad's stories HERE

Friends - Therapeutic in a peculiar way.

Nadd: aku dah dpt sebenanye tapi diorang kene bincangkan balik sbb message yg mengatakan aku pregnant tu x sampai... oh damnation. Kalau aku dapat, selesai la kot masalah hormon ni... wahaha
shai laden: diorg takleh buat macaam tu. aku membangkang!
Nadd: aku pun!! mane mun? shy, sementara pic tu tgh nak send aku nak solat jap ek
shai laden: okeh. tula, mun ni suke hilang2
Nadd: aku nak amik smayang... tapi ade lipas
shai laden: ko nak amik semayang?
Nadd: aku suh yeh spray dulu... eh.. amik air smayang
shai laden: spray is another word for pray without the 's'... ahahaha
Nadd: ahahahaa. sabo jek
shai laden: aku kan philosopher. ahaha
munn: aku pegi bancuh kopi
Nadd: tapi spray membunuh!! kenape ko bancuh kopi?
munn: pastu carik alas utk mouse yg gile ni. pasal nak minumla
Nadd: eh tadi dekno dtg rumah aku beli tudung. saje nak cerite
munn: woooo semangat nye..
Nadd: dekno kije kat cyberjaya gak skang
munn: oooo
Nadd: oh korang, tolong la doakan skali utk aku btol2 dpt kije kat WHO tuh
munn: amin....
Nadd: tengkiyuuuuuuu
munn: lipas dah mati belum?
shai laden: amin. Lipas blom mati, die kawin wan suriati
Nadd: hahahahaha, dem jek
munn: tesedak air kopi aku... akakkakaka
Nadd: air kopi pun boleh tesedak??
munn: akula tesedak kopi
Nadd: oooo... hik hik... mane shy? bancuh teh ke?
munn: silakan nad, minum shai..
shai laden: aku tak bancuh teh. teh bancuh aku
munn: tula nad, ko tak blaja anatomi kopi
Nadd: ha'ah cikgu yusop x aja anatomi kopi dulu. kalau tanye die tanak jawap... nape teh bancuh ko?
shai laden: sbb aku hot. ngaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha.
Nadd: wahahahahaha. tappe2..btol tuh
shai laden: apa cikgu usop ajar ko?
munn: cikgu usop mengajar aku sesuatu tentang kehidupan, the fact that 'cikgu fizik tak semestinya terer fizik'
Nadd: ahahahahaha
munn: jadi jangan banyak tanya kat lab. yela kan.. wlaaupun ko tak pandai ajar fizik, tp ko boleh ajar murid2 tentang erti kehidupan yg sebenar. ahahahhaha
shai laden: ye, cam, hidup ini umpama kopi
Nadd: a'a... macam Cikgu Yusop, "Our life is like fishes in the sea..." ahaha
munn: "fish has to eat... we have to eat"
Nadd: ahahahahaha
munn: babi pun kena makan gak... apesal tak bg contoh babi je
Nadd: ahahahhaha
munn: anatomi babi lg close dgn manusia dr ikan
Nadd: babi pandai kan lagipun kan
shai laden: teringat filem 'anatomie'... eh, itu ayat cikgu yusop ke?
Nadd: ahahahaha
shai laden: bukanla. tu sir...... ape tah nama die tu
Nadd: bukan..tu cikgu english. Sir..tah..... to sir with love
shai laden: ahahaha... that is one sir i dun wanna love. tula... patut bagi falsafah babi, 'manusia stress, babi juge stress', dan bile kite benci manusia tuh, kite panggil die 'woi babi'
munn: akakakkakakakka. babi betul.
Nadd: tapi omputih kate kite kene makan babi sebab dlm babi ade vitamin penting yg we cannot live without and babi sangat precious
munn: ekeleh
shai laden: heh?
munn: vitamin apa tu?
Nadd: tapi apsal kalau diorang marah pun diorang panggil org tu babi?
shai laden: adekah ko berpikiran begitu sbb kita lahir tahun babi?
Nadd: nape nape?
munn: vitamin b...odoh?
Nadd: ahahaha... bukan aku la
shai laden: ahahahahahaha... anyway, babi dalam bahasa industan maksudnye kakak ipar
Nadd: oh maksudnye aku babi kepade adik2 yeh. wahahaha
munn: ahahhahahahha
shai laden: ahahahahahaha
munn: bongok gile..
Nadd: aku tanye yeh 'ayang babi ke?' tekejut yeh
shai laden: bayangkan chop panggil ko 'eh babi, babi'
munn: ahahahhahaha
Nadd: bile aku terangkan maksud aku yg sebena yeh kate sebutan die bhabi laa
shai laden: ahahaha, aku tau...  tapi saje je nak dijadikan cerite
Nadd: hehehehe, syok bagi yeh tekejut sambil main psp
munn: kata 'org melayu', sebutan melayu dia babi jela..
Nadd: (nak attention je aku ni)
munn: eleleleeeeee...
Nadd: wahahaha
munn: lipas tu agaknya roh dah sampai syurga dah nad
Nadd: pahni kalau org panggil aku babi aku x kesah dah. sbb mmg betul pun... a'a la
shai laden: ahahahahaha
munn: adik aku dah pelik2 tgk aku gelak sorang2
Nadd: yeh kate die dah 'corok ayaq' kat lipas tu bg masuk dlm lobang
shai laden: lipas harus dibunuh je
Nadd: takleh2, aku pregnant
shai laden: takyah nak kesian2. kalau ade nuclear war diorg selamat
Nadd: yeh xleh bunuh binatang time aku pregnen ni
munn: lipas bukan binatang
shai laden: tapi lipas bukan binatang
Nadd:  superstitious btol
munn: dia pest... kan shai?
shai laden: btol btol
Nadd: ala... tapi tapi
shai laden: lipas adelah makhluk yg harus dibunuh. Like killing the cancer
Nadd: tapi die makhluk Allah (gaye ustazah). ahahaha
shai laden: oh, aku insap seketika
Nadd: alah sebenanye yeh dah spray die sampai mati, pastu baru corok ayaq bagi masuk dlm lobang
shai laden: hoh, tu lagila... macam hitler
Nadd: ahaha
shai laden: macam saddam hussein pun iye gak
munn: ada tak emoticon cakap astagfirullah gaya yeh tu?
Nadd: takde, yeh mmg hitler lipas
shai laden: ahahahaha. skrg yeh kene bela misai kontot n pakai baju gamba lipas mati
Nadd: ahahaha yeh stress sbb ko kate die saddam..tapi xleh nak balas balik sbb tgh men psp. ha men la psp tu banyak2, main laa... kan kan kan?
shai laden: ntah.... men psp tu, macamla best sgt. kalau aku keje kat halal hub, aku haramkan psp (saje dengki sbb tak pandai main psp)

*FOOTNOTE:
- LIPAS - a nick for a high school mate at SMKAKS. He married another high school mate named Wan Suriati (in which we called Izat)
- "Life is like a fish..." is a word of wisdom from our english teacher masa form2. It was a weird word of wisdom. Very uninspiring.
- Babi stress - not a fiction but a fact. Mun watched this show on TV about how orphan baby pigs are more stressed than piglets with a mother.
- Shai is my nickname, and also an Arab word meaning 'tea'.
- Saddam & Hitler - 2 dictators who use the method of poisonous gas to kill people
- Cikgu Usop - cikgu fizik sekolahku who apparently hates physics and will never answer any enquiries. Explain why we all 'physic'ally dumb. Except for me, cuz I didn't take the sub.
- bhabi - in Urdu/Hindustani language, it means 'sister in law'.

You always hear about dogs chasing cats, right? Well, my cats chased dogs. Apparently they think that they're the royalty of Section 11 and have the strength of 100 felines. And I don't mean pooches here. I mean stray dogs. Stray. The ones with rabies and stuff.

I was like, hell-loooo... you guys are wearing bells. In the feline society, that means you guys are pondans who are fed with cutely shaped cat food. Stop trying to be all gangsta. 

Other than that, Phibun's current hobby is sleeping on my foot. No matter where he slept, in the end, the next morning, the bloody tom would be using my foot as a pillow. And weirdly enough, tepat je jam pukul 12tengah malam, he suddenly turned into a 'security guard'. I'll go to the toilet, and he'll be guarding in front of the door. I'll be downstairs munching in front of the fridge, and he'll be waiting near the stairs. Just now I was lecturing him that he is not a rottweiler or any sort of dog and even if I needed any protection, he's a cat and he can't possibly guard me.


You know what is my current annoyance?

The fact that some people seem to make conclusions about my life rather than asking me themselves. Look, if you have a question, ask. If I'm not answering, that's because I do not want to share it. Do not make your own conclusion by trying to trick me through my facial expressions, response or stuff like that. That's MY game. I am an expert at that. Don't try it on me.

This is what I shared with Dash while we were discussing about stuff. She was upset about people prying on her blog, making their own conclusions about certain things that she wrote, and creating hostility. It used to be fun, being a blogger. You do not know who are your readers, and you don't have to jaga hati sesiapa pun. You can just write the damnest things and people don't go all emotional. But when you know who are your readers, THEY will have this sense of oh, dia cakap pasal aku ke? Dia perli aku eh? Bengangnya. Aku nak sebarkan kat orang lain yang die ni perangai macam ni...

Interestingly enough, we were not even talking about that person. Read at your own risk la. Pfft.

Then, what's with people and not signing off YM properly? You were talking to them, and then suddenly they just don't answer you. I mean, 'GTG' would be the three most easiest alphabet in the online communication world. Use it. It's okay for Nad to do it, since she's pregnant and bound to fall asleep at any time. But non-pregnant people should use it. Try it. It's easy. It goes like this, "Hey, GTG. TTYL. Bye."

If you're bound to destroy the english language, do it right.

Interestingly enough, if I ever did that they think I'm rude. See, I don't do stuff that people don't do to me, and vice versa. Interesting, isn't it? I am not "Kaunter Melayan Perbualan Orang Apabila Mereka Takde Kawan Lain Yang Boleh Diharapkan Untuk Membincangkan Isu Yang Mahu Dibincangkan". Harap Maklum.

Don't even let me start on missed calls, emails, SMSes and other fucked up shits... ugh. 

I had a very peaceful week last week. Despite of the 'issues' that I have... err... triggered, everything else went smoothly. Writing was fine, previews were okay, and I kept meeting Vincent from JeVince at previews who Swee insisted that I am having a crush on.
"Yeah, forget the Thai hottie, must keep the local flavour..." she said.
Ha. Ha. (show a dry face)
First of all, I do not have a crush on the Thai hottie. I just love calling him a Thai hottie because he's a Thai hottie, bearing in mind that I do not go for the 'hottie' type. And second of all, Vincent is going to liaise with the boss and I ain't wanna have that kind of talk whenever I am in contact with Swee, or I'll put my head in the dumpster the next time I see the guy.

Crush.... pfft.
Hear that pryers and snoopers? I. am. boh-ring. Find other people to gossip about!

DIALOGUE OF THE DAY
(nama member terpaksa dirahsiakan atas sebab2 privacy)

shai laden: eh, kenapa bile kite makan coklat, kite mesti nak fold elok2 wrapper die? mesti nak bukak elok2, pastu kepilkan celah buku... padehal nanti kemudian kite buang jugak
membershai: sebab kita ada simptom ocd. kakakaka
shai laden: tapi.... sume org buat camtu, tak kirela die mmg originally ocd ke, atau die messy dalam bab2 lain
membershai: tak gak... tp mmg ramai org camtu eh
shai laden: tula pasal. kalau coklat mahal oversea ke, lainla gak kan. ini, cadbury. yg tahun depan pon wrapper tu gak. So tadi, bile aku berjaaya gak makan cekelat yg aku sayang nak usik dah dua hari tu n menyedari aku telah memfold die elok2, aku lantas mengkeromotkan ia supaya aku tak simpan celah buku. hahahaha................. aku tengah buat subliminal mesej untuk ko nih, ko sedar tak? aha
membershai: cadbury ke ape? owh ye ke... tak sedar pun..
shai laden: ahahahahaha. vochelle. cadbury bengapla, tak reti buat dark choc
membershai: aku dah shut off benda2/ unsur2 subliminal yg nak masuk dlm otak aku. aku proses yg staright forward je skarang
shai laden: oh? kalau camtu. meh aku straightforward. MOVE ON. akakakakakaka
membershai: haaaaa. baru aku paham, ahahhaha

THE SWEAT STORY

I never shop after a film preview. GSC Mid Valley is above the South Court entrance, which is also the exit for the feeder bus. The most I would do is to walk towards the Food Junction, buy me a salmon skillet spaghetti and then go home. But on Friday, I felt extra 'rajin', since if I return early the road would be filled with cars as it's solat Jumaat time. I went inside Jaya Jusco, saw a pretty sweater at Goggles and suddenly a new sense of "I must have it!" suddenly bewitched me, and I bought it.

Ten seconds after paying, I had that 'moment' where I go "Oh my God, this is mine, all mine..." complete with the matching it up in my head with my other wardrobes and five minutes after that, suddenly the electrical jolt of my common sense return and I went,
"What the hell are you doing? You're a freelancer. You live in poverty!"

Sigh... I will never become a shopaholic. I have too much economic doubts in my brain.

DARK AND MYSTERIOUS

It's a mystery why I can't seem to tear open the chocolate wrap and just eat it. It's always easy with any Cadbury chocolates. I love the hazel nuts and after buying I would just at it with no remorse. But dark chocolates... Every time I bought a dark chocolate, I will stare at it and not eat it. Vochelle is one thing. Try Swiss dark chocs with those unique vintage wrap. Oh my God, I would absolutely hold it in my hand and not eat it.

Dark chocolates are those chocolates that I felt like I want but can't have... it's like, I don't want to eat it, I just want to own it. This is my chocolate theory, purely chocolate theory, not some weird analogy or metaphor about other stuff, please be noted.

Shai's Chocolate Range:
1. I choose dark chocolate over Ferrero Rocher anytime
2. Ferrero Rocher over other chocolate
3. But poor people must be satisfied with only Cadbury
and I'm not even a chocolate-enthusiast. Always jeruk salak over chocolate.

MY JEANS ARE NOT TIGHT

Once upon a time, I had a Versace jeans (not mine, my aunt gave it to me. I can never afford brands). But big bad 'happy days' in UIA made Shai indifferent to her body and so one day she realised that the jeans became too tight. So without any regrets she just puts it away and never looked back.

On saturday, she was cleaning her wardrobe and saw the jeans and tried it on. Not only it fits, it even became loose. Wow, this sengsara days are really worth it. Keep on being sengsara for another year, and I'll make Heidi Klum weep. See, who said one needs exercise? Ahahaha.

BELANJA MAKAN

At 5pm today while watching 'Romulus, My Father', paklong called and told us that he is at Shah Alam Mall and asked us if we would like to join him. Well, I love joining paklong. For one, being a consultant, he has every single details about the stupidity that revolves around the government institutions. Second, you can ask anything and he will belanja, and thirdly, when you're unemployed, he would always hulur RM50. Usually I would feel embarrased, but hey, this is my uncle, if he wants to give his niece money, why would she decline, eyh?

I'm poor. Relatives help each other, you know. Ha.

SPACE HOG

I need some space. I really do. If I am rich, I would have bought myself an apartment and do all my work there where it's all peace and quiet. I told Tim that if I have a load of cash right now, I would fly to Lahad Datu first thing tomorrow morning and go stay with her and join her watch some friggin orang utans at Sepilok until my work's done. But anak marhaen kena sedar diri.

Then I called Mun, realisin that she's on her way to her friend's Sha birthday party, which triggered a memory inside my head and I went, fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, looked at the time and realisin it's 10pm and thinking that 'hell, I'll think of somethin else later' - letter of apology, song dedication, chocolate moist cake, Indonesian horrorny vcd (gabungan horror and horny), tujuh dulang hati virgins or something, and asked her if she's free tomorrow (as time of publishing, tomorrow would be today). Guess what, she is not (like always), thus had to do a Mun-less activity with Nad and Yeh. Plan A, seafood at Bagan Lalang, plan B, picnic at Taman Tasik Shah Alam. Whatever it is. I don't really care. I just need to be somewhere else.

I am not a fan of holidays....

(msg: Your birthday is on 19th? I swear to God it was 9th last year. Am I hallucinating? I think I'm going crazy)

DIALOGUE OF THE DAY

"Aying ni kalau mandi lama betul."
"Memanglah. Aying basuh semua, cuci ketiak, cuci badan, cuci bontot..."
"Tak ada siapa nak bau bontot kau."
"Mana tau, dekat opis pegawai terjatuhkan fail dekat belakang Aying ke, bila dia bangun dia terbau, huh wangi betul bontot Adlil ni."
"Kepala hotak ko la."

(tajuk tak ada kena-mengena, saja guna sebab tajuk macam tu selalunya menarik perhatian orang-orang yang kuat bergosip untuk baca entry. Hahaha.)

It's one SMS to another from Swee, obviously the SMS-representative of the editorial team of CO, asking me to attend previews for "Eden Lake". Ugh, that movie is my limit in horror genre. Of all the "Friday the 13th", or "Hostel" or any of those weird torture movie, it ain't the same with this. You can watch psychos doing psycho stuff and you feel horrified. But seeing underaged kids doing psycho stuff, it's just.... wrong.

And then also for the movie "Valkyrie". Now, what is it with Hollywood and their knack for injecting hatred towards Adolf Hitler? I am sick of watching movies in which the short man is shown in such dramatic monstrous manner. Yes, he was a dictator and he was evil. But so was George Bush. Come to think of it, Hitler killed his enemies (under the influence of people like Goering and Himmler), and Semites, and sacrifice lots of his own German army at the same time. Isn't that what Americans are doing now? And ugh, if I heard another "Hitler is evil for killing lots of Jews again" Imma throw up on Tom Cruise's face. It's SEMITES. Not JEWS. Not everything about Holocaust was about Jews. Stop thinking them the victim of everything. And anyway, those Jews were the innocent people who did not want to leave Germany, their home, to start over in Israel. Zions didn't help them. So, it's not just Hitler's evilness. It's also the Zionists' - their own kind. And again, it's not like the guy is evil from the start. He is just a fallen hero, like Caesar. He was the champion of people, who brought Germany back from its destruction. But like what Two-Face said, Hitler WAS that guy who lived long enough to see himself turning into a villain. 

Please click on the titles for reviews.

Then Swee the SMS-rep again sent more SMSes for freelance work that now goes to features and microsites. Then she went "Seems like ur working for us like normal, just only out of ofc... i want ur job!" and I was like, "Yeah, cool rite?" and started to try to make her jealous by emphasising the fact that I was eating while reading the newspaper sambil bersila in my shorts in front of the glass screen as we speak while she is in the office trying to make more MSN Bios and do more contests.

I love the work, you know. I love translating stuff, I love writing features, involved in microsites, and writing contests... contests the most fun. You can just make up lots of weird slogans and ask question and provide weird answers, like:
Siapakah pelakon utama The Curious Case of Benjamin Button?
a) Brad Pitt
b) Brad Sherwood
c) Brad E. Bunch
d) Brad Andbutter

It's fun playing with words. But during my time, it was so hectic - what's with CO and my other career as an author, going out, coming home late - that I just can't take it and sometimes my head just refuse to think. And you know how important the use of the right brain in this line of work. Now, when doing freelance, I think I was able to defragment my thoughts again, and really, doing it all is much easier. That's how I just go "Yup, Ok, Alright" to everything.

Dad opened my mail again. Seriously, I was telling mum if that by any chance somebody is actually sending me anthrax, dad will die first. The thing is he chooses the mails that he wants to snoop at. He would not care about opening my bills, for example. But if it has Buku Prima logo on it, he knows that would be my royalty paper and seeing money (or the statement on how much I will get) makes his day. It makes him feel that, yeah, my stupid second daughter actually got money and is not driving towards utter destruction, something that has been a curse to anybody who chose to take Political Science as their major, with Dad leading the pact.

It's weekend again. My, weekdays seem so short in my world, and I now came to hate weekends. On weekends, tv shows are all suck, hangout places are stacked with youth and their so-called cool lifestyle, and no internet.

Definitely no internet. Every weekend, the internet will go straight to kaklong. From 8.30am until late at night, it would be on her PC. The one sucky thing about this is that her laptop doesn't have MSN, so any time I need to pop up to talk to people... well, I can't. Then the late at night until early morning will be Aying's time since he never has any schedule for weekdays, it would be melampau if he can't get to use the internet on weekends too. It's hard not having the internet because even writing will be a tad difficult. The internet is my source of stuff, you don't go and bulldoze your own version of things no matter if you are writing a fiction. So, sometimes when I came to a part where my characters are people who are lawyers, or architects or engineers, I need the internet for terms and jobscope and stuff.

So usually I use weekends for other stuff. Like, tomorrow would be hectic. I need to bake Nad her chocolate moist cake, then off to Putrajaya to give it t her, deal with the tudung ekin thing, pick up little Sofieya's present and go to Kak Mai's house... all in the course of three hours. Hmmm... why do I have a sense that somehow this might not work. Ah, tomorrow punya cerita...

(You're right, Nad. This is fun.)

For those who ask for my opinion on Perak MB issue thing, well, I'm sorry. This is more or less a legal issue, not much political (the political would be HOW Najib turned these dodos back against their old party). Too many legal terms for the issue and involves constitutional cockups. Not my forte and am not qualified to talk about it, unless for sembang2 kosong kedai kopi, like any other pakcik2 yang think they're politically-correct. So, just find your answers HERE.

(Published it the day before)
This is my new rule in life. Any 'bright' ideas that I've made at 3am in the morning should NEVER be executed. Never. At 3am, one should go to sleep and dream a little dream of a world without problems. That's it. At 3am one should not be wrecking her brain thinking how she could reverse the issue she has created before it escalates.

Sound too serious? (My readers would ask me why, but the people who snoop will make their own conclusions.)

I am having a nervous breakdown coupled with a migraine, waiting for the result of my stupidity.

In a lighter note (why do I always have a lighter note? How will people take me seriously if I always have a lighter note?), let's do compare and contrast, because, gee, I don't know, how about 'my blog, my right to write crap'?

WHICH IS BETTER, THE BOOK OR THE MOVIE? Part 1

Stephen King's "1408"
The book. The movie is too darn annoying and tried so hard to be scary. I mean, it's like watching your most annoying uncle trying to scare you time and time again with the same annoying ghoul mask. It's King's book, therefore, the best way to be scared is to read the book. The imagination is a much scarier domain if you exercise it well, young padawan.

Jane Austen's "Pride & Prejudice"
Both. PNP is the only book I wake up early every morning to read, and the movie is simply because casting Matthew MacFadyen as Mr Darcy is the most brilliant decision ever. Instead of going for the 'yeah, Mr Darcy is an arrogant asshole', MacFadyen portrays him in a better light - a shy guy who doesn't know the proper way to talk to people just because he was a rich guy raised without a mother.

Stephanie Meyer's "Twilight"
The movie. The book bores me with Bella's POV on stuff and since I think like her, it is like reading your own diary. And since becoming a writer, I know an 'imaginative' and a 'berangan' type of writers from their way of writing. Meyer is no imaginative. The movie is more quick-paced (with the exception of the boring mountain scene) and has that glossy feel to it, like a coffee table book.

Vikas Swarup's "Slumdog Millionaire" (a.k.a "Q&A")
The book. The movie is different as it takes only the concept of the book and 15 minutes to the end is a tad boring. The book has meatier roles (no Latika character and the guy is called Ram Mohammad Thomas, not Jamal, and he got no brother, and even his name has a story on its own), more profound effect and an ending that makes you feel "Damn, Swarup is a GENIUS!"  

Charlotte Bronte's "Jane Eyre"
The movie/4-part drama. The book has certain chapters that makes you do the skip-skip thing.

Cecelia Ahern's "P.S, I Love You"
The book. The movie is changed so much and I hate it when the book tells a story about an Irish lady and the movie has an American vibe about it. It just decreased the 'umph' of the story. Like, you can never measure European wit with American's. Ahern and Kinsella are two most poignant witty chick lit writers in this era, and both came from the same continent.

Habiburrahman El-Shirazy's "Ayat-ayat Cinta"
THE BOOK! The movie annoys me to a point of... making me feel like choking Hanung Bramantyo to death. It just goes to show, some literature work cannot be translated to the silver screen. It just lose its beauty. AAC's strength is in El-Shirazy's poetic words. THAT can't be transferred to film. Besides, the guy who plays Fahri looks like an easy target for bullies.

Jane Austen's "Mansfield Park"
The film. The book would be one of Austen's more preachy work and is not that interesting for a read. But the film made it view-able, and chewable.

Lauren Weisberger's "The Devil Wears Prada"
The movie. Meryl Streep is a one-woman show, who can doubt that? 

Dan Brown's "Da Vinci Code"
The book. Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon? Who wanna believe THAT? And where the hell did Brown go? After four books of making fun of the US government, secret service, people's faith and even the Vaticans, he's retired already? Wimp.

Philippa Gregory's "The Other Boleyn Girl"
Both. Although, since the book is a fictionalised version of the Boleyns real history, and the movie is the fictionalised version of the fictionalised version of the history, that would make the film.... historically inaccurate by 70%? Ah, whatever. Casting a Johanssen and a Portman is even more inaccurate but we all can live with it. Not the history of my life, not my problem.

Stephen King's "The Shining"
Both. In the book, King choose to highlight the craziness in one's mind when they're fighting off inner demon while at the same time left off trapped inside an old haunted hotel (something that "A Tale of Two Sisters" tried to create but failed miserably because out of 10 people watching it, only 2 understand). Stanley Kubrick's version is more towards the sinister building and how it affects Jack. Jack's right, you know. "All work and no play makes one a very dull person". Eeeeeeeee..... eeeee....... 

Anwar Ridhwan's "Hari-Hari Terakhir Seorang Seniman"
Both book and tv drama. But that was like yearsssssss ago.

I was watching a THS of Hulk Hogan and then remembered those days when I was a huge WWF fan... and then think, yeah, I got lots of 'fan-of' season. Let's list it down.

Musim Gila tengok WWF (1999-2001)
Gile ah musim ni. I mean, sure. Tudung labuh, the need to be ready all the time just in case there's a gathering and nobody can give tazkirah (if you're a senior, you need to have materials for tazkirah all the time, and if you don't have it, WING IT!). But then again, you also forgot the fact you are a WWF fan. How can one try to be pious and watch tanned muscled guy in spandex wrestling off each other all at the same time? At 16, anything goes, brother. Big fan of The Rock, Mick Foley, Molly Holly and the Hardy Boyz. HUGE crush on Chris Jericho and his "Walls of Jericho" trademark. In those years you can put all pics of WWF wrestlers and I can name each and every one of them and which one held which belt. Love Royal Rumble the most. The Rock kicked Undertaker butt once. That was huge! I know even WCW wrestlers. Hell, Kevin Nash is the man! Yeah! Wrestling is like a soap opera. There's a good guy, a bad guy, the  hot good girl and the slut. Stopped watching? Second year in Matrics IIUM. They've turned WWF to WWE and suddenly things are not entertaining anymore.

Musim Gila tengok telenovela Latin (2002-2003)
I started to watch "La Usurpadora" - good twin evil twin stoyline. Yeah, lame-o. But Gabriella Spanic was huge at that time, though I think "Maria Mercedez" was the one that brough the Latina craze to Malaysia, with Thalia as the lead. But I wasn't very keen cuz they're so long and repetitive. All have same basic idea of 'mencari ibu/anak/bapak/boyfren/sedara/nenek yang hilang' that always turns out to be the rich people (how convenient). But then Colombia's "Yo Soy Betty La Fea" arrives. Man, that was my biggest guilty pleasure. Here's a story about an ugly intelligent girl with sharp wit who finally gets into her playboy boss' head... and pants... whichever comes first. The fact that it has such cool scripts and interesting characters and no bloody 'mencarik sedara terpisah' storyline got me hooked like a dead fish on a fishing rod. All hail the creator Fernando Gaitan! The telenovela got so popular it was remade into LOTS of version, including "Ugly Betty" (but still nobody can do ugly like Ana maria Orozco). I still remember one favourite quote from the boss Armando who said;
"No te escucho, soy de palo, tengo orejas de pescado"
(loosely translated as: "I can't hear you, I'm made of woods, and I got fish ears"). Simply meaning "I'm stubborn". I still use this when I don't wanna listen to an advise.
Stopped watching? After "Betty La Fea". Cuz nothing can compare to that one.


Musim Gila Dengar MandoR&B (2003-2007)
It started when I saw a guy called Jay Chou in a video clip while waiting for a TVB drama on Wah Lai Toi. It was the MV for "Hui Dao Guo Qu" (still my favourite song of his). I told mum that I think if I want to start listening to mandarin, I'll start with him. So kaklong bought me his album for my birthday and I got hooked. Not with the lyrics la of course, mana aku paham time2 tuh... but the arrangement of music and how without understanding the lyrics I can just know what it is trying to convey. Then I started listening to Jolin Tsai (cuz Jay composed songs for her), and Leehom (but I hate him. Show off,), David Tao, Vivian Hsu, A-Mei, etc... I have all Jay's DVDs, and I bought all magazines that has his face on it without really understanding anything on the article. I thought I would make a collection out of this guy. But then suddenly he started acting. Which means, his song started to not be as interesting... "Twilight Chapter Seven" was the last song I ever loved. That's why it stayed as my caller ringtone for so long.

Musim Gila Hindustan (1998-2001)
Of course. You start with "Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge". Your friends caught the Shahrukh bug. You didn't, because you don't want to be like anybody else, so you choose to be a Bobby Deol fan. When everybody else love Yash Chopra and Karan Johar movies, you love Ashutosh Gowariker. When people choose music by Jatin Lalit, you love A.R. Rehman and Ismail Darbar (hey, AR Rehman won a Golden Globe okay. what Jatin Lalit won?). Then you go, you know what? I think I like Saif Ali Khan better. He has his mother's spark and you know how Sharmila Tagore was the belle in early 70s. Your mum was a HUGE Hindustan fan during the heyday of the Kapoors, and you chose the less popular Khan. You can almost name everybody from Juhi Chawla to Amrish Puri.
Stopped? With the coming of new actors that got zero talent and whose acting chops are determined via how tanned their bodies are. Then those movies came with lots of sex scenes, and girls like Mallika Sherawat and Neha Dhupia who couldn't wait to show their boobs to the camera. What happen to the olden days where all sex scenes are replaced with an innocent shot of blooming flowers and flowing rivers?

Musim Gila Drama Jepun (2001-2005)
Ugh you tell me. I have a bunch of Japanese Dorama collection I am eager to sell to people. I got "GTO", "Over Time", "Beach Boys", etc etc etc. From the list there you can just guess which Japanese actor I was in love with. TAKESHI SORIMACHI des! You got Yutaka Takenouchi who looks eerily like Farid Kamil in "I'm Not Single", but we were never the KimuTaku fan so we don't have KimuTaku dorama in our collection. But I'm not going to sell "TRICK" series, all three of them. Other than the fact that it's my sister's, it is also because I still love em.
Stopped? After a while you saw a pattern in all Japanese dramas. And they aren't so different from each other (with the exception of "TRICK")

Musim Gila Animes (1999-2008)
I love(d) "CONAN", "Ranma 1/2", and have collections like "BLEACH", "Slamdunk", "Fullmetal Alchemist" (this one is cool), "Kyo".... I always go for shonen rather than shoujo, cuz shoujo is too girly for my liking. I don't like Mecha animes, like "Evangelion" or "Vandread", and I so love Studio Ghibli's products like "Spirited Away" or "Grave of the Fireflies". My favourite seeiyu (voice actor) is Megumi Hayashibara and favourite manga-ka (cartoonist) is Rumiko Takahashi.... because though she's a woman, she has guy's sense of humour, like you can see in "Inuyasha" or "Ranma 1/2"
Stopped? Because the newer animes like to go for loooooong episodes. take "One Piece". From 1997 sampai sekarang tak habis-habis. I've been reading "CONAN" since I was 12. I'm 25 now. Imagine how long is that! That's like watching "Akantare".


Musim Gila TVB Dramas (1990-...)
Nah, I never stopped. I watched it since the day I can read, till this very day. I never stopped, just trying not to watch, because kalau tak, sume keje pon tak siap. 

Here's a thought.

There are two things that bugs me so nowadays. One, the issue of boycotting Israeli products (Imma talk about that later). Two, guys who play double meanings around women to tie them down. If you're a girl, and has a guy who keeps saying saccharine sweet stuff or using words with double meanings and never really quite THERE... yeah.... dump em.

Ugh, since when did I became such a Women's Right-ish person? Oh yeah, since Friday, after a friend - who never once cried or stuttering because she has to talk in between sobs - told me of her misfortune. Now... here's the thing. If you want to get serious with her, BE SERIOUS, dofuss. Stop doing that Katie Pery hot-cold-yes-no thing. If you like someone tell her. If you don't like her, tell her. If you are not sure, still, TELL HER.

Do guys even know how hurtful it is for a person to be in such position? To not know whether there is a relationship or not? Do you want to know how hard it is for me to see my friends trying to cope with the unknown? Do you even know how a woman feels when you go and dance in circles around her? It's like putting a string around you, but never to tie it. it's annoying and hurtful.

At 12am, while listening to her, feeling her crumbling down, I just felt like shooting this guy. Love, is not just A word to such women. They're not some social butterflies that goes from one man to the other. It really means something. To them it's sacrifice. They put their heart and soul into it, swallowing every ounce of pain. Loyal, to the extent that you might think it's ridiculous. Caring, to a point that everything else don't matter. Issit fair for one to ask the woman to understand everything? They're called women, stupid. They don't have that same nonchalant attitude towards relationship like men.  

And all you need to do is to appreciate it. To helm it. And yet, another jerk is born.

If I can just express the amounts of pain one gives to someone who cares for him. If I can just draw them in pictures. If I can just put it in an arranged order.

In her words, it makes the brain freeze. It makes your heart ache. It makes you want to put yourself inside a tiny box, lock it and disappear forever. You can't think, you can't breathe, you can't sleep. Your lips felt numb, cold and dry. It hurts you so bad that you cry. In Dash's words, it makes you feel pathetic. It makes you lose your confidence. And yet you're still there, still waiting in hopes that your patience will breed happiness.

Ugh, I wish I can kill these kind of men. Beating around the bush.... how about I beat you all to a pulp, eyh?

Stop playing around and be straightforward, you fucking idiots! Stop making my friends cry!

"They are my friends. Break their heart and I'll break your face."
(Babe, I wanna kill him. Please give me permission to kill him. You're a Betty. He's an Archie. He doesn't deserve you.)

In a lighter note, teringat Ustaz Khalid punya teori masa kat Matrics dulu,
"Hati manusia ni terbahagi kepada empat bahagian. Untuk perempuan, satu bahagian untuk keluarga, satu bahagian untuk kawan-kawan, satu bahagian untuk anak, dan satu bahagian untuk suami. Untuk lelaki, satu bahagian isteri pertama, satu bahagian isteri kedua, satu bahagian isteri ketiga, satu bahagian isteri keempat."
"Cis betul ustat ni..."
"Apa yang kamu semua nak marah, saya menyatakan kebenaran. Hahaha."
(ye, memang kitorang 'cis' kan guru sendiri, disebabkan teorinya itu. Haha.)

It's official. I got the coolest person in my facebook friends' list! The guy who knows how to express everything in music! Lelaki pujaanku M.Nasir! (I'm sorry Ally Iskandar. Between you and him, of course it would always be him...). Heck, I don't care if you think he's not the coolest guy on the planet, but I think he is and what I say matter!. And as long as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad ain't on facebook, I'm satisfied with knowing M.Nasir is in my list!

Can't wait for his IB concert. At last, real music from real people. I bet you can't find a greater composition than Tanya Sama Itu Hud-hud.

But anyways. Me sad that I can't go to Iza's engagement thingy tomorrow. Chaq's working tomorrow (damn you Berita Harian) and since working, nobody in the household wants to move from the couch on weekends. And there's no public transport to her home in Cheras, I mean, not that I know of. This is one friend's happy celebration that I'm gonna miss. Sigh...

Likewise (penggunaan likewise yang salah, but I dun care), Kak Mai asked if I can do freelance for Tupai also, and that includes reviews and translations. Translations I can do, but premieres would be difficult for me as again, for the above reason, I got no transport. I'm gonna take drivers ed this year anyway cuz there's no way I'm gonna find a job without a license. I mean, I love observing people inside the bus, but it seems that me not knowing how to drive is becoming a pain to others. Ahaha. I mean, come on, we all know the reason the Thai hottie didn't offer me the job was because I dun have a license. Or else, I would be cruisin around Ampang with a cool job and a handsome boss. Ngahahahaha. Perasan.
Kak Mai told me the other day she went to FINAS she saw Shazli and he was askin 'bout me. Heh, yeah. If I knew Shazli works in FINAS earlier I wouldn't have resigned.......................
Nah, I would still resign. We weren't that close of a friend anyway.

I got a press preview for a movie called "New in Town". Click HERE for the review. Not that great or anything. Just a filler for Valentine's Day because apparently couples might die if there's no romantic films on Valentine's Day. Pfft. Oh that is soooo cliche, to have romantic movies on VD (which is also a shortform for 'Venereal Disease'... which is what couples would get on 'Valentine's Day' when they think using the dick instead of the head).

I mean, on Valentine's Day I would rather watch a horror movie and observe the crowd. Oh, this is only for people like me - which couples called the "sad and lonely bitter bitches"... and which I call 'Laugh-now-cuz-you-know-in-the-end-you're-GONNA-be-that-bitter-bitchy-me'. Try it. It's fun. You'll have the eager boyfriends hoping that their girl would go on a screamin frenzy, got scared and hold em tight. The girls, with a false dignity would try to fake being afraid in justification on why they hug their boyfriend... oh biasela perempuan, fake orgasm, fake scared, fake everything (did I just wrote that?) 

"Gu du bu ku, bu zai hu..." bak kata Dicky Cheung. (I am voting for him to change his Christian name)

But the movie is everything that is cheesy, corny and lame. Coming from someone like Renee Zellwegger, I am most flabbergasted. Minnesottan accents makes everybody sound like Carol Channing, by the way. And what's with shaving the beard, eyh? Every time there's a romantic movie where the hero was introduced as the brooding rugged guy with unshaved appearance, it would always ends with the guy finally rejoice in romance with clean shaved face.

What's with that, eyh? Keep the beard! Don't shave the beard! The beard is sexy! Harry Connick Jr. in this movie, shaved in the end. Hugh Jackman in "Australia" shaved during the party scene (thank God by the end of the movie he got his jambang back). P.Ramlee in 'Musang Berjanggut', shaved in order to propose to Saadiah half way through the movie. Lost its appeal.

You know why Bush look stupid and Osama bin Laden always look calm and collected? BECAUSE HE KEPT THE BEARD. Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam, greatest guy in folks music, unshaved. Jay Chou, looked most matured in seventh album, with a beard. M.Nasir, yup, still the beard. Every single cool artsy men are all with beard. It gives that extra seni in them. Quigon Jin in "Star Wars", Jackie Cheung in his forties, Jeremy Irons, Gregory House/Hugh Laurie, Leonardo DiCaprio in "Body of Lies".... all beard-tastic! 

In summary, if the guy in the movie is unshaved, LET HIM BE!

I am blabbering about nothing again, am I? 

Next:
-Riding the Bus : "How Mr. Amin Save Syahida's Day Today" (in Sh.ai.lad>En)

"Mak, orang dah buat keputusan dah."
"Keputusan apa?"
"Orang nak kawin dengan Ally Iskandar."
"Hahaahha. Persoalannya sekarang, Ally Iskandar nak ke kawin dengan ko?"

Tulah dia, mak bapak zaman sekarang. Bila aku buat bodoh je asik risau bila anak dia nak kawin, bila aku nak kawin, memperkotak-katikkan pilihan aku. Cuba bagi sokongan sikit. Percaya bahawa satu hari nanti Ally Iskandar akan terbukak hati nak kawin dengan aku.................................................................

(Spokeperson: Maafkanlah Shai. Member-member dia sume hilang sejak Jumaat lepas, dia bosan dan skru otak die mule longgar.)

Weh, budak-budak, bila korang ni nak balik ni? Sambut raya cina mengalahkan orang cina. Aku bosan tahap melampau dah ni, do... sorang kat Terengganu, sorang kat Perlis, sorang busy nak bertunang, sorang busy bercinta, sorang sah2 la terhumban ke Sabah.

I wanna have power like Hiro Nakamura, so I can stop time and stop my friends from moving on, and then I will not be so alone during Chinese New Year...... pfft. Gila selfish.

(spokeperson: Kawan2 Shai, maafkanlah dia. Dia demam tapi takde member nak tanya kabar sebab sume org takde. Kurang kasih sayang bak kata Ema.)

"Eh korang, diorang sume dah keje, kan?"
"Dah, sume dah keje dah."
"Tapi aku dah berenti.........."
"Ko dah berenti. Aku dengan Nad tak ada employer. Kita ni tiga orang kawan yang tak bermajikan."
"Kira orait la tu. Tandanya kita maju setapak dari orang lain. Orang lain baru keje, tapi kita dah berenti. Hahaha"
"We work hard, and we play hard."
"We work hard and we play harder sebenarnya."

Nasib baik ada press preview besok, untuk mengisik masa lapang... (masa lapang apenye, novel tak siap2, saje2 nak lari dari tanggungjawab)
"Ya betollll!"