Thursday was a weird day. I came to the office realising that the two males in ed team is on MC, while Swe went for an interview with "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" director. It was like, crap. Y yo solamente... with two outtrips, and Maria also on leave. And Zim started to go on his can-you-proof frenzy, going "Syahida can you proof the contest" and "Syahida can you proof the write-up". Hahaha.

Yup, you thought you would not face the same thing you face during your time in admin because you got a team in ed... apatah lagi when you only have another 8 working days to go. But nnnnnnope. Weirdly enough I was not stressed out at all. Maybe because I don't have to care! Haha. What? Bos marah? I don't care. Spill overs? I still don't care!

Ah, the beauty of being an outcast.

When Swe returned, we kinda did the Barney. You know... "I proof you, you proof me, we're a happy family..." I was working like crazy from 10 to 12.30 cuz Kak Mai said that I need to go for Brainscan press preview, but then Wahi SMSed Swe saying that he's going albeit the sakit perut thing and everything.


I am living and being raised by a bunch of weirdos, and I love it!

Shai: Sakitnya kepala aku. Bangun tido je dah sakit kepala. Biasanya orang yang bangun sakit kepala ni orang yang minum arak malam sebelumnya je.
Mak: Kan ko minum arak semalam. Air kelapa kat pasar malam semalam tu kan air arak. Air tu diarak dari rumah ke dalam van, dan diarak dari dalam van ke pasar...
Shai: Mak ada rase-rase nak dapat anak derhaka tak?

Shai: Esok kena jumpe Marcel, discuss fasal keje sume, gaji sume sume tuh. Pastu dia kata time nila kalau nak tanya ape-ape soalan. Puas dah fikir, tak tau nak tanye ape... tapi kang kalau tak tanye kang kurang informasi plak...
Mom: Cubela tanye.... (Shai mengangkat muke ingin mendengar cadangan bondanya yang bijak laksana) .... "Encik, cerita CJ7 tuuu, cerita alien ke cerita manusia?"
Shai: Mak! Apa kena-mengena pulak...
Mom: Yelah, mak confuse, cerita orang ke cerita alien...
Shai: Apekah kelogikannye soalan itu pada kerjaya ku? (while mom laugh)

Ayah: (while watching the weather forecast) Esok nak pegi Tawaulah
Semua: HAH?!
Ayah: Tempat lain semua hujan, Tawau je yang cerah. Nak gi sidai kain kat Tawau.

Aying: Kalau Aying dapat gaji nanti, Aying beli tv ni daripada mak. Aying tanak beli tv baru, Aying nak beli tv ni, biar mak tak dapat tengok tv, asyik tengok tv je.
Mak: Mana boleh beli semata-mata nak dengki kat mak.
Aying: Biarlah. Aying nak menegakkan kebenaran yang basah (gabungan 'menegakkan kebenaran' dengan 'menegakkan benang yang basah')

Shai: Pastu habis bateri dek kamera ni ter-on sendiri. Dahla aku beli mahal, enam ringgit lapan....
Kaklong: Tula yang cepat habis tu, murah sangat... enam ringgit dapat lapan
Shai: Wah, lawaknye kakak aku ni... rase nak tampor

Shai: Rasa best kan, bersin lepas lama tak bersin? Macam berak selepas beberapa hari tak berak, macam kentut lepas beberapa jam sakit perut?
Aying: Macam pelangi selepas hujan

Shai: Mak, the cool word is esemes, not S-M-S.
Mak: Lantakla, cool ke tak cool ke.
Aying: Hmph, mak ni macam the frog under coconut shell. Hahaha.

Ayah: (regarding the crazy woman driver who passed him and nearly hit the car). Agaknya dia nak terberak sangat kot. Kalau tadi memang betul dia langgar kereta ayah, pastu bagi alasan sebab dia sakit perut nak terberak, ayah jerit kat situ, BERAK SEKARANG!

Regarding Maria Tunku Sabri in "Jalan-Jalan Cari Makan"
Ayah: Itu makan ke mentekedarah tu?
Mak: Biarlah. Sebab tu orang amik dia jadi host.

Mak: Kedai yang potong seluar kat Giant tu kat mana?
Ayah: kat luar tu je, kat deret2 kedai. Perkhidmatan Potong Seluar. Dia macam potong ayamla. Dia kata dia potong seluar je, dia tak kata jahit sekali.

There are only dua lagu yang dinyanyikan semula yang aku betul-betul suka. First is "Isabella", that was dinyanyikan semula Jamal Abdillah, Amy Search. Saleem Iklim and Zamani Slam. I love it, cuz you have four different sound in one song. You got soul in Saleem, you got 80s rock in Amy, you got 90s pop rock from Zamani and you got Jamal's manly man drugs-or-no-drugs-I-am-the-real-'WORLD' voice.

Then you got 'Kepadamu Kekasih'. Boy, I LOOOOOOOVE this song just for the fact that it has double meanings. I mean, it is so straight to the point and yet so meaningful that you can just cry listening to it (yup, I'm saying this in a poyo way). And again, you got Jamal and his manly man drugs-or-no-drugs-I-am-the-real-'WORLD' voice (yup, i just copy paste this word from the paragraph above cuz I'm damn lazy), Hattan's nasally-but-soulful sound and of course, M.Nasir - who would win any contest on the most droolworthy voice ever, hands on. I mean, come on... the guy dun even need to try. He just sang one line and that's all it takes, I mean, he got the most important line out of the song anyway...

And from the choice of singers, it's like M.Nasir was saying "These are the only singers I think worth my time". Hahaha.   

Kepadamu Kekasih, Aku berserah, Kerana ku tahu Kau yang lebih mengerti, apa yang tersirat di cermin wajahku ini, apa yang tersirat di hati, bersama amali
Kepadamu Kekasih, Aku bertanya, Apakah Kau akan menerima ku kembali, atau harus menghitung lagi, segala jasa dan bakti, atau harus mencampakku ke sisi, tanpa harga diri
Kepadamu Kekasih, aku tinggalkan, jawaban yang belum ku temukan, yang bakal aku nantikan, bila malam menjemputku lena beradu
Kepadamu Kekasih, Aku serahkan, Jiwa dan raga jua segalanya, Apakah Kau akan menerima penyerahan ini, Apakah Kau akan menerimaku, dalam keadaan begini




Ye, ye, aku mengaku. I got nothing to update but tangan gatal nak apdet....

Haha, I'm scared of Maria and Zim. Just now when they were standing behind Penny and ask about worklists, with Maria's hand in her pocket and Zim folding the newspaper slowly, it has that scary aura like two crooks nak belasah orang dekat simpang. Ngahahahahaha. 

Malam ini bulan dan bintang tersenyum.

There I was, feeling bengang and all stressed up. And then Mun sent an SMS saying that the moon and the stars are smiling. So I went out, and look upon the sky. And there it is, the crescent moon... shaped upward, looking like a huge smile, and two stars shining above it turning into two bright eyes. And it's looking down at me and smile.

And I -together with Phibun the cat by my side- smiled back at it.

Then Tim called and said the same thing.
So I sent an SMS to Swe, "If you look outside to the sky, there's a moon and two stars smiling back at you" in which she answered;
"Awh, no moon or stars outside at all... is this a scam to get my arse off da computer chair? hehe"

Then I keyed in this SMS to Zee;
"Yo drunkard, if you look at the sky right now, you'll see the moon smiling..." and then backspaced the SMS thinking people who are drunk at the moment would see their own stars inside their head, so that would be a pointless SMS.

And there I go sending SMS to people to look at the sky and look at the universe smiling and saying 'hi' to human beings down here, but then nobody replied nor interested to go and take a look and it dawned upon me that not everybody wants to say 'Hi' back to the moon, that it's a pointless task and that's just me and my friends romantic notion about the universe.   

And it's funny, because in reality, we are more realistic. Tim, the 'in-your-face' no nonsense teacher, Munira the businesswoman, Shai the sarcastic writer and Nadiah the mother to be. But when it comes to appreciating the beauty of the galaxy, we are the romantics.

Sayangnyaa, terlampau jauh untuk amik gambar

Sweei says: hehee, wonder how that image of the moon smiling and stuff looks like
Sweei says: crescent moon must be
shai says: yup. the crescent was facing upward, so it looked liek a little smile
shai says: n then there're two stars way up a bit, so it looked like two eyes
Sweei says: HAHAHAHA
Sweei says: awhhh
shai says: my fren sms  me just to tell me that. it's like little universe saying 'hi all'. akakaka
Sweei says: i tot the stars might be at the end of the crescent point...like smiling with a hint of sparkle!
Sweei says: hehe, have a lil hope is the hidden msg..and not to quit CO
shai: haha, nice try
Sweei says: yeap, those are the two important msg to take note
Sweei says: if you don't amalkan that advice...oh mann,, i dont' know what to say =P
shai says: dream on. resignation letter sent, confirmation of resignation letter received. 11 days to go

Sometimes I think some people still don't understand the MAIN POINT and OBJECTIVE of ME resigning.
I wanna finish this novel. See?
FINISH...... THIS..... NOVEL.....
In which part of the word 'fulltime' and 'novelist' can't they understand? Stop treating me like I'm some kind of a retard who can't think of how to take care of my own life.

Please put a little bit of faith in me. Just a little bit. Believe in what I can do, instead of worrying whether or not I'll bring home the dough. They say that the night is the darkest just before the dawn. If you cannot stand the dark, there are other lights. But do not pull me away from the dark because I wanna find my own light. I don't want to keep on standing under other people's lamps. Let me feel the darkness. I need to feel the darkness.

It's hard when your own think that you cannot do this. So afraid that I would turn out like my dad. I don't wanna turn out to be like dad, and that's the reason I'm doing this. I've seen dad putting his heart and soul 9-5 into something that nobody ever seem to care. I've seen him working day and night, and sometimes return home at dawn just to get a bit of dough in the end of the day. I can see him broken inside even though he didn't say it, knowing that he has a potential that he had to sacrifice for the sake of a wife and kids.
 
I don't wanna do that, I don't want his life to become mine. I appreciate what dad has done, and that's why i want to live my life the way I want it. I don't want people giving me classified ads about jobs when I don't want it. If I wanna do that I would do it myself, ask for it myself. I am NOT doing something for the sake of today and tomorrow. The choice of job that I applied, the choice of things I would turn to if things don't go my way are already certain. I have my plan. I am not a kid anymore.

Every time that people worry about the rate I'm going will only become the bane in my life.

Put a little bit of faith in me. Life is hard. Don't tell me things I already know. Maybe they do not know what I have been through. I know how the real world works. I have been rejected, I have been looked down at, I have been judged based on the outside, I have been neglected. I have felt all of it. I have been told I'm not good looking enough for this, or people do not like this kind of things that I wrote, or I'm not clever enough to do this kind of work, or that's a stupid idea. I proved them wrong, didn't I?

I am trying to work my own life, not a life I'm a part of, that I will have to leave when I finally meet my other half.

Put a little bit of faith in me. 

In a lighter note,
aksi says: haha, for some reason me too!
saksi says: and I wanna watch losdanfaun. but if i have to go to the cinema again, Imma puke
Sweei says: 0_o
Sweei says: kesiannn, seelah, go to so many press previews..hehehe
saksi says: i mean, two weeks ago... Arabian Nghts. Then Bombay Dreams, then Quarantine, then Wild Child, then Body of Lies, then Twilight, then Body of Lies then Lakeview Terrace. my dad is starting to doubt me, thinking I've been seeing a guy cuz 've been watching too many movies in two weeks time
saksi says: and then there's The day the earth stood still on fri
saksi says: the funny thing is dat the ones that i really wanna watch is still unwatchable
Sweei says: huh??? really? owh, i tot you did wanna watch twilight
Sweei says: wahaha, dad doubting you. that's funny man
Sweei says: tsktsk, anak yang tak baik sneaking off with some guy to watch a movie kononye "press preview"
saksi says: yeah, he looked at me with the "Are you dating some sort of punk with big dragon tattoo on his arm and smoke pot that I will never meet?" face
Sweei says: WOH! yeah!!!
saksi says: I mean, even if I'm sixteen and has all those crappy teenage angst thing going on, i wudnt even wanna do dat. akakakaka....
Sweei says: hehe, it's okay
Sweei says: ya never know , you just might end up doing it
saksi says: dragon tattoo and POT? why RU praying that for me for?

So today I went to GSC Mid Valley (again!)....
Hmmm... let me count... "Bombay Dreams" on Saturday, "Wild Child" on Wednesday, "Body of Lies" on Thursday, and "Lakeview Terrace" today. I think the Bangladeshi guy in the WESTERN CUISINE part of the Food Court must have recognise my face by now.... the 'Salmon Skillet Spaghetti' girl....

So, went there with Tim and Mun. But the story today bukan fasal the movie, but on what happen after the movie. So, after cruising through the art exhibition, Mun decided that she's too hungry to wait till she's home and so, yup... Western Cuisine Food Court again... as we were eating, suddenly then there's this guy with a sling bag came and asked our permission to sit down.

Well, guy in sling bag... meet Shai, Tim dan Mun.

Guy: Kak, boleh saya mintak pinjam dua minit sekejap tak untuk buat sikit pengumuman.
Tim: Sile, sile.
Shai: Duduklah.
Guy: (duduk) Okay, kak. Dalam beg ni saya ada sesuatu. Saya mintak bila saya bukak ni akak sume jangan jerit pulak.
Mun: Ko nak keluarkan apa ni? Aku ada pisau ni...
Guy: Ala kak, janganlah kak. Takde, benda ni bukan ular ke apa ke. Tapi tadi masa saya keluarkan dekat akak-akak yang dekat sana tadi diorang semua jerit-jerit. Benda ni bukan terkam akak ke ape ke, tapi dia boleh melekat dekat muka, dan susah nak buang kalau dah melekat.
Mun: Apa benda ko nak tunjuk kat kitorang ni. Tensionla aku.
Guy: Okay. Macam ni kak. (keluarkan minyak wangi Ralph Lauren)
Shai: Ooh, ingatkan amende
Guy: Minyak wangi ni dulu popular kak, tapi sekarang Ralph Lauren nak keluarkan edisi baru, jadi kita nak buat stock clearance ni. Dekat Singapura laris minyak wangi ni, kak. Orang Singapura suka pakai sebab bau dia bau tropical, kan...
Tim: Tapi kita orang Malaysia. Kita pakai minyak wangi pasar malam je.
Guy: (laugh) Takde, kak. Orang Malaysia pun suka. Dulu harga sebenar dia RM250. Lepas tu cuba akak teka harga dia berapa sekarang? (sambil spray the perfume to our hands)
Mun: Sepuluh ringgit
Guy: ....................................... kak, itu bukan stock clearance namanya kak. Itu dah jual lelong tu.
Mun: Tadi kata suruh teka.
Guy: Ok, dulu kita jual RM80, tapi sekarang kita jual laagi murah kak.
Guy 2: Hi semua. Peace. (tunjuk tiga jari)
Guy: ha, ni kawan saya, dia pun jual tadi laris jugak.
Shai: Peace ada dua jari je, dik.
Guy 2: Oh ye ke, okay peace. (dua jari)
Mun: Pakai 4 la, dapat dua peace (sambil tunjuk peace guna 4 jari)
Guy 2: oh ha'a eh, bagus jugak tu. Peace! (empat jari)
Guy : (tension) OOOOkay.... semua ni sekarang RM50 pun tak sampai. Cuba akak semua teka berapa harga dia. Akak?
Mun: Entahlah, tak tau.
Guy: Akak teka berapa?
Tim: Entah, ko bagitau jela aku.
Guy: Akak pulak?
Shai: (geleng)
Guy: Sekarang RM49.90!
Mun: Hellllleh, setakat seposen je kurang dari RM50....
Guy: Tapi kalau akak takda duit sekarang, esok kita ada lagi kak. Ni saya tadi datang bawak 15 kotak, macam kingkong berjalan dengan beg penuh, sekarang cuba akak tengok berapa yang tinggal (tunjuk beg, tinggal 1 kotak je)
Shai: Baguslah.
Guy: Jadi akak semua nak tak?
Mun: Takpela, dik. Lain kali aje.
Guy: Okla kalau macam tu. Tapi kalau akak semua ni ubah fikiran esok kita still jual lagi dekat store Ralph Lauren kita. Terima kasih ya, kak
Tim: Okay.

(Guy left)
Shai: Baru aku perasan, muka dia macam Along Raja Lawak
Mun: Nak jual perfume. Aku ada RM20 je dalam dompet.
(later)
Shai: Oh, tadi dia kata 'jangan jerit', dia ingat kita ni spesis yang suka brand la kot, tengok barang Ralph Lauren harga murah terus giddy giddy teruja nak beli.
Tim: Ooo, baru aku paham. Aku ingat dia nak jual permainan ular dalam botol ke.
Shai: Kalau dia jual ular dalam botol dengan harga sepuluh ringgit, instead of Ralph Lauren, mungkin aku beli.

Haha..... tension je mamat tu jual barang. Salah crowd la, dik.

New blog song! "Oooooooo begini raaasanyaaaaaaa...."

Now.... what have I been doing this week...

On Saturday I went to watch "Bombay Dreams" with Mun. I mean, hell, why does the title has to sound so corny when the movie is actually Swedish and nice. The title souds like an Akshay Kumar film with Bipasha Basu and Priyanka Chopra. In saying this, I am meaning to say 'B-grade'.

Then the chief writer found out that he LOVES "Twilight", but in some weird manly man I-don't-give-vampire-romance-4-stars-cuz-I'm-a-man issue, asked me to go review the movie and then question my giving 3.5 stars to it. Haha. That's so fun to do, even Swe was annoyed by the fact that I threepointfive-star-ed the movie. But the gala night was a fun night indeed. Most of CO staff were there, and we take pics together and everything. Swe tumpang my car to CLD and thinks I got one fun family. Yuppp, one lawyer yang loyar buruk, and one brother who likes to be all dramatic about traffic jams. And the fact that we sang Faizal Tahir's "Sampai Syurga" as loud as possible in the car. And I had to explain who Saw Teong Hin is to SWE and Shirley.

Honestly though? I'll go for Jacob instead of Cullen. I mean, he's so pale and all vampiry and all 'i'm-too-sexy-for-my-fangs'. We loves em Cherokees, don't we?

Ah, phooey. I don't talk like that. Like I said, I hate Bella. I understand her and the way she thinks too much. Human beings and characters from a novel should have boundaries.   

Then, because I wanna have fun writing a review, i went to "Wild Child' press screening, cuz I know I will hate it. The next day I went to "Body of Lies" and let me tell you one thing. Seeing Leonardo Di Caprio in shalwar kameez, ketayap and beard and speaks Arabic makes me wanna love him more, and seeing his wearing all those stuff and kill some Arabs, makes me wanna kill him also. And what's with the hitting on Muslim girl with 'Assalamualaikum'? Hello, that might be original in Hollywood, but in Malaysia, only mat rempits do that... you know, the "Assalamualaikuuum, tak jawab dosaaaaa...."  

It's already the end of November, and we got a school reunion this December. Hell. I mean, I don't hate my school. But it's SRK Raja Muda, and I got Sani who is now an engineer in Germany, Budiman who is an aircraft engineer, Ezrin who married anak menteri, a bunch of other kids who now live in Australia, and all the big big life thing.

Syahida is a writer-reporter, who would turn into 'JUST' a writer two days prior to the reunion, has no driving license, just realised today that her slippers dah koyak, wears ugly pink t-shirt (which is sooo not me) because she's out of stuff to wear, no possibility of marriage in near future, no possibility of career enhancement in near future, and whose english has turned uglier by every breathing moment.

Why the hell did dad send me to that school? We should have just go all marhaen and throw me into a school filled with anak-anak kerani and not put me in a class with Tengkus and daughters of CEO Kumpulan Perangsang.

I can just make up excuses, you know. Like, "Oh, I got an event to go", or "Oh, I broke a leg", or "Oh, the universe is out to get me, so I have to stay indoors and not go to any reunion". But who am I kidding, eyh? If I am going to be working from home, might as well socialise more. And we're talking primary school friends here. I do want to see them. Weirdly enough, my schoolmate Sheha and Zim from my office are friends.

It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, and it bugs me soooooo.... 

YAY, NAD BALIK DARI MESIR ESOK!!!!!

Conversation of the Day

"Yeah, cuz God love us, that's why He made us with curves. HE hates men, that's why He made all of you look like a poll with an extra pipe"  
"Tanpa paip itu, semua air longkang ntah nak alir pi mana la kak. hahahhaha"
"See, a poll would always think about where the air longkang will go. cuz them got no space for brain to function. haha. Thou shalt be pitied" 

Going to office every day feels like a weird karma. If I am happy today, the next day would be a total crap. If I am bored today, tomorrow it's whether a total boredome that i felt like shooting myself in the head with a Kalashnikov, or it got so interesting I don't wanna go home.

Every single day I will get out of the car, and have this heavy dreary feeling inside my heart. It's like entering a Twilight Zone. What's behind door number one! Oh, today we may have a drama, where everybody is pissed off, Kak Ani refused to eat, Zee got so busy proofing that he didn't realise what's going on, and everybody talk in whispers and making others felt uncomfortable. The boss thinks you've been doing a crap job over the months. You got loads of things to finish and everybody kept calling your name asking for it to be done quickily. Awal Ashaari didn't answer your call, and there's nothing in the pantry to eat.

OR

You opened the door, Kak Ani laughs cheerfully telling you your allowance is ready, the boss skips around, Zee kept trying to pick a fight with you out of some weird entertainment, everybody's laughing hysterically over a video on youtube, Ria and Zim humming to Beatles song while Wahi makes perverse jokes. The boss thinks you've been doing a good job over the months. And all you have is a review and the usual codings. Yeo Joon Han answers your email and you realise there's a Maggi Tomyam on the shelf.

A day in the life of moi goes like this.

Waking up at 6.00am, listening to azan Subuh and fell asleep. Then solat Subuh and bathe only to wake up and realise that it's all a dream. Cursing your head for playing with you, get up, take ablution, solat Subuh and fell asleep atas sejadah and wake up thinking, "Yearrrright, nak habiskan Surah Yusuf konon...." Crawls unto bed, look at the time on the celly.

"Cool. 6.40am. More time for sleep." and doze off to never-neverland. Wake up, take a bath, put on lotion and then the alarm blast off and you woke up.

And goes, "Stupid fucking dream! Stop messing with my head. I hate dreaming about taking bath in the morning. It's cold, and I had to do it again? For real?"

Got on into the bathroom, try to find toothbrush with eyes closed, had a momentary  menung-pagi where spend time watching black ants running away from running waters, take a bath (dratsfuckingcoldisowishI'mrichandhavewaterheaterFUCKCOLD!!!). Find something to wear,  chose to wear baju kurung (again), lotion, powder, face powder, then stop and think.... "Eyeliner?"
"Naaah, pointless."

Turun bawah, drink a cup of tea, remembered that the hairclip is upstairs, grumbles as getting up the stairs to get it, clip the hair and wishing it won't be like yesterday when the clip unclipped itself in the bus and you had to hold your chignon from falling. Find the tudung, then scowl at Phibun for trying to drag your kain with his teeth, and as you walk towards the mirror to wear your tudung, the stupid cat was dragged together because he still refuse to let go of your kain. Pinjam kerongsang kaklong thinking she's gonna be so pissed off for this, but hey, big sister must always let the little sister use her stuff. It's the circle of life.

Play 'find-your-father'. He may be in the shower, reading the newspaper in front of the glassdoor, smoking outside while putting his hand on his hip and looking away towards never neverland, or just plain missing. Salam and cium tangan mak, sarung kasut, masuk dalam kereta, bukak ERA. Taking out the strawberry lipgloss, thinks lips not dry enough, decided not to smear it.

ERA plays the same boring puke-worthy MATA song again, so change to 104.9. Dad makes fun of the car in front, or curse the car in front, or both. Dad saw something funny, make a quick witty retort about it, laugh laugh laugh, make a u-turn, pass the LRT KJ, arrive in front of the office. Saw Wahi and Zim ready to lit up his ciggy, he saw my dad and hides his ciggy box inside the postbox, while Zim went MIA suddenly. Cium tangan dad, went out, says Good Morning to them, and panjat tangga.

What's behind door number one today....
 

I've read all kinds of jokes in forwarded emails, but lemme tell you, this one if frickin hillarious.
Especially Palin's, Oprah's, Al Sharpton, Dr. Seuss, Einstein, Hemingway, Aristotle, Bill Gates and Bush. (those are my fave)

Subject: why did the chicken cross the road?

*BARACK OBAMA:* The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change! The chicken needed change! CHANGE!
*
JOHN MC CAIN: *My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road...
*
SARAH PALIN:* BECAUSE, PRAISE JESUS, I WAS GONNA SHOOT HIS SORRY LIBERAL ASS OFF FOR BLOCKING MY VIEW OF RUSSIA!
*
HILLARY CLINTON:* When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day On e that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
*
GEORGE W. BUSH:* We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
*
DICK CHENEY:* Where's my gun?
*
COLIN POWELL:* Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
*
BILL CLINTON:* I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of crossing?
*
AL GORE:* I invented the chicken.
*
JOHN KERRY:* Although I voted to let the chicken cross the ro ad, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
*
AL SHARPTON:* Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
*
DR. PHIL:* The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
*
OPRAH: *Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
*
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN:* We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
*
NANCY GRACE:* That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
*
PAT BUCHANAN:* To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
*
MARTHA STEWART:* No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
*
DR SEUSS:* Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross i t with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
*
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:* To die, in the rain, alone.
*
JERRY FALWELL:* Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
*
GRANDPA:* In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
*
BARBARA WALTERS:* Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
*
ARISTOTLE:* It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
*
JOHN LENNON:* Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
*
BILL GATES:* I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash.
*
ALBERT EINSTEIN:* Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
*
COLONEL SANDERS: *Did I miss one?

TALK OF THE DAY

s.H.ai says: daymit punya azizee
Sweei says: why>?
s.H.ai says: u know he called kak ani, asking for a 'Suriani' from editorial
Sweei says: LOL. HAHAHAHAHHAHA
Sweei says: macam suria KLCC
s.H.ai says: when kak ani said there's nobody called Suriani in ed
Sweei says: haha, you bagi anot your name card?
s.H.ai says: he said, I met her last time... kurus2
s.H.ai says: i bagi meh
s.H.ai says: but then he thinks me Suriani who yang 'slim and slender'
s.H.ai says: so I tak jadi nak marahla
s.H.ai says: ahahahahahahaha
Sweei says: HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHA 
s.H.ai says: i tell u, ppl find it hard to remember my name. whether calling me like 'rashidah, or shuhada, or shuhaida'. they'll be calling me wth weird names like norda, or suriani or sth like dat
Sweei says: goodness
Sweei says: well, we all have out fair share of funky pronounciations
Sweei says: heck, i got su wei, swee wai, su we, swee wee
s.H.ai says: ahahahaha. swee wee sounds funny
s.H.ai says: like sweeeweeeeweeewee
Sweei says: yes laa yes laaa mis suriani
Sweei says: *bluek*

Taggedla, macam tak biase plak....

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any 1 questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by and continue this game by sending it to other people.

I was tagged by Rabiey-chan~

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
I will cut his balls in half and throw it into the River of Styx.... (crap, I've watched too many zombie movies and Quentin Tarantino)

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
Anything that involves me being hutang-free

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
Oh the list goes on.......................

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
This answer will link to answer to question number two

5. Will you fall in love with your bestfriend?
That's the path I ain't taking no more. That's why I no longer be bestfriends with guys.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
To love and be loved in return... peh, ayat jiwang tak tahan. (Sila muntah di sini)

7. Are you gorgeous?
*snorts*

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Diamkan jela. Nak buat apa lagi. Who d'u think I am? Memey Suhaiza? Ngahahaha (Lawak kurang ajar)

9. What do you pray each day for your loved one?
Happiness and more happiness, with or without me

10. What takes you down the fastest?
Indifference

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
I ain't that visionary

12. What do you really want at the moment of responding to this tag?
I am having the urge to watch 'The Dark Knight'. Ugh, if that movie is a guy, I would have married it.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
She is a frikkin genius who would go to class all sleepy and without a notebook and go "What the hell is the he prattling about" about the lecturer and ended up being the only girl who got an A in that class. Damn, I hate you. (ahahahahaha)

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
"Biarlah miskin, tapi dapat sama-sama mencari kekayaan tu bersama suami" <- ayat idealistic dan semi-utopian ini ku pinjam dari Munira Azman. Ngahahaha

15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
Hit the snooze button, dan peluk bantal dengan lebih erat. (sleepyhead)

16. What's the character must have in your partner?
Why is there so many question about this stuff? Err, intellligent enough, smart enough, care enough.... to cater to my crap.

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
Two? Hello? Minat seorang je cukuplah, banyak2 buat menyusah otak je buat hape. Banyak masalah lain aku nak piker.

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
I'm vindictive and arrogant. I forgive, I don't forget. If you forget things that easily you will never learn to be careful next time. Salah kata Dr. M, aku melayu yang tak mudah lupa.

19. Describe yourself in three words
Arrogant As Hell

20. Do you love snow?
Do I look like someone who has seen snow?

I am tagging everybody who read this. Ha, siapa suruh baca, kan dah kena tag. BUAT!

CONVERSATION WITH SWEE (haha, senang nak borak ngan minah ni. otak sama2 sangap)

Sweei says: I heard that if you kept yourself too long in front of the PC screen, you might get breast cancer.
s.H.ai says: How? You don't exactly look at the screen using your boobs issit? Ngahahaha

***

Sweei says: Whoa, that's beautiful. That's deep man
s.H.ai says: I'm a novelist, baby.

Wahi was stealing the last of my mentos in which I said:
"Ha, dapat isteri solehah." in which he went "Huh?"

Oh, I thought everybody know that game? It's just me?

I think it was in those years kat Matrics as we were on our 'Makan2-KFC-sebab-Ustaz-Khalid-cakap-dia-akan-belanja-makan-kalau-semua-orang-lulus-test-Bahasa-Arab' event, we were eating and then can't finish the whole KFC, so Ustaz Khalid said, "Siapa habiskan, dapat suami soleh."

And it turns into a game, whoever can finish the food will get good husband. It's like a second nature to us, to say that word every time someone can't finish their food. The thing is, it's just a trick so that people would not waste their food. In those days, the bait is a 'suami soleh'. After seeing the real world, I bet the word 'suami soleh' is just a distant memory to all of us. NOr I ever finish whatever I ate. Not even Kenny Rogers.

(Maybe if they say "Siapa habiskan makanan tak payah bayar hutang PTPTN" I will try my hardest)

So when I was saying that to Wahi, he was like, "Cool." and I was like, yup, dream on, because in the real world, there's no such thing as isteri solehah anymore (not entirely non-existable, but very few). I mean, every day that I argue with Zee about how women are to be ruled, but not to be objectified, all I realised is that women WANT to be objectified. They LOVE the fact that guys drool over their asses, they LOVE to dumb-ify themselves so that men will look like they're God's best creation. To fan the ego. I was even taught by some to fan men's ego. It felt wrong. I mean, why?

If the guy is a dumbass, I will call him a dumbass. If he's intelligent, I will admit his intelligence. Then if the guy is a moron and I am better than him, why would I want to giggle and give him a pouty dreamy eye look, bite my finger and cutely says "Oh, you're sooooooo smart".

Why?

So then men will think that I am 'cute', or 'funny', or 'loveable'? I'm not saying it's wrong to be all cutesy and stuff. It's fine. I don't do cute doesn't mean that I hate people who can be all cute and everything. I just hate it when they stop trying to be what they are and started to be all baby. And I am not just talking about the attitude, but the dumbing down of their intelligence. Kosong. Like a newborn. The difference is that they don't drool and piss in their pants.

The thing is, men hates women who do all the 'You're-a-fuckin-moron' attitude towards them because women like that can't be objectified. There's some sort of respect and no matter how drool-worthy the woman is, they will never openly comment about the size of her tits. I've seen such women in existence. They're not feminists, just regular women who do regular womenly stuff. I respected them for it, and I hope I can be like that.
           
Like the guy said to me;
"Because it's easy to objectify things when they are not animated."

So start being more animated, woman!
And I don't mean being animated by throwing tantrums!

Imam Ghazali = ' Apa yang paling tajam sekali di dunia ini? '
Murid- Murid dengan serentak menjawab = ' Pedang '
Imam Ghazali = ' Itu benar, tapi yang paling tajam sekali didunia ini adalah LIDAH MANUSIA. Kerana melalui lidah, manusia dengan mudahnya menyakiti hati dan melukai perasaan saudaranya sendiri '