a) Upon realising that Iza's on brreak and already home from Oz, I called her and gave her my piece of mind, "Kurang hajar ko Iza, balik tak bagitau! *Toot* punya *Toot* budak *Toot* Iza ni. Sekali aku *Toot*.. eyh, *Toot* betul."
You owe me a Kenny Rogers. A 6 months supply of Kenny Rogers, come to think of it.

b) Do NOT make stupid request like "Kopi Dangdut" song for a karaoke at someone's house when the host is your aunt who will go the extra mile to make you sing it. ALSO, do not berlagak that gelek gerudi is just a walk in the park when you know you ain't gonna do it anyway.  

c) I was cleaning up the rest of my stuff (dah berenti keje 2 minggu, Shai. Baru nak kemas, ye?) when I realised I accidentally brought home trailer cds for "Angus Thongs" and "Burn". Daymit.
Do NOT put office stuff together with a bunch of your Royskopp albums. I'll deal with those later. In the words of Scarlett O Hara, "I'll think about it tomorrow". Those cds are not important, right?...................... Right?


Let's talk about Item B
So, it all started with Aying saying "Jom pegi umah makcik."
"Kenapa?"
"Saja-saja."
Then Nad called, and told me that her tudung stock dah habis and so I said, since I'm going to my aunt's place in Pinggiran Putra this saturday, might as well she would come that day. After agreeing, I called my aunt and told her that we're coming to her house, saja-saja and plus, it's her birthday too. But my sister pergi pulak buat request nak makan macaroni la, ape la.
"It's my birthday and you want ME to cook?"
"Okayla, cuz then Syahida will bake a chocolate moist cake for your birthday."
(This is the problem with my sister. Being a lawyer, she thinks she can strike a deal without needing to consent me if I would like to make a chocolate moist cake or not. Oh well, nasib baik senang nak buat.)

Then I made the wrongest move by putting in my facebook profile this status update:


Forgetting the fact that BOTH makcik and paklong - two karaoke champs in the family DO have their own facebook, and read that status update, the whole 'saje-saje nak pergi umah makcik' turned into a "BIRTHDAY AND KARAOKE" event. Maklang came with kuih talam satu dulang (ha), mum bring nasi goreng, paklong bought three buckets of KFC, I baked a chocolate moist cake and so it goes.

Thanks to my big mouth that said that "Kopi Dangdut" and gelek gerudi is easy.

But when makcik called paklong and asked him to come over for karaoke against the Kamarudin's children (kitorang la tu), he said;
"Ellleh, setakat lawyer buruk (kaklong), technician (Aying) dengan penganggur kreatif (yours truly) tu, Amalik tak heranla...."
So it turns from normal karaoke session into a competition:
Intan Mawarni, lawyer & partner of Azlin Shaharbi & Associates
Adlil Khaliq, clerk of MIDA
Nurul Syahida, freelance writer & novelist
AGAINST
Siti Maisarah Abdul Wahab, fulltime housewife and ex-secretary in IBM
Dato' Dr Raja Malik Raja Mohamed, of Global IT Services merangkap Presiden MNCC
Ramlah Abdul Wahab, surirumah sepenuh masa, dan pakar kuih talam

Daym... let me tell you one thing. There's a reason I am a monotonous person who would shake my head when a microphone comes my way. Because I don't want to start. I have an inner karaoke demon I wish not to be unleashed... so as other demons inside me that I thought of unleashing only after:
a) I'm married;
b) I have kids and/or;
c) never to be unleashed till the day I died.
But then paklong kinda drop the mic on my lap and make me sing Melly-Kris' "CINTA", and then move on to "Awan yang Terpilu" to.... what did I sang later on actually? I don't remember, but my relatives were shocked cuz I sang a jiwang song and also did a Ning Baizura improv.

Oh, come on, I can sing 'Jablay' if I want to. I just don't. Hahahahahaha... berlagak pulak. My uncle didn't wanna go home, and accused us of making him sing all night long. I can't put up the vids of him singing "Ekspres Rakyat" dengan penuh perasaan nor makcik's rendition of "Always" here cuz they threaten to put mine in facebook. So it's 0-0. After lots of karaoke, changing Ejal's diaper, layan budak2 kecik main masak2, sepinggan macaroni, nasi goreng, chocolate moist cake, KFC, kuih talam and pengat and jadi despatch sementara between Nadyeh & my relatives, kitorang pun baleyk...

Makcik also put all the blame on me for influencing her to buy all those tudung from Nad & Yeh nellyshop business. Hahaha....

Next stop, Kenirojesing with Iza and Zamel (seriously, I need to stop going out with friends while they're with their boyfriend/ husband/ future boyfriend/ future husband... rasa macam mengganggu ketenteraman percintaan orang lain... ahahaha...). Then kursus dengan Nad, and then lepak dengan Chaq.

Anybody else bored? Call me. Hahahahahaha.... (nampaknya Shai telah melupakan the fact dia ada dua deadline dan hutang review 'Le Febbre' dengan CO)

Pictures say it all. These are among the activities sepanjang 2008 (excluding stuff like numerous occasion to FINAS or GSC... or that sad excuse called Impak Maksima The Musical). Nampak tak kemalasan nak susun gambar?

1. March 08 - Second shooting location I visited after 'STAMP'. This wud be Apek's "Dia Datang" with Kak Mai, Wahi & Cammy at SS17. Under marketing position.
2. March 08 - COET Futsal Day Out. Pic of me with Naya. Two most sopan santun players who kept apologising when bumping with each other.

3. May 08 - Birthday @ ofc. I think it was Gracie, Arfah, Zim and Wahi's bday
4. June 08 - 2 day set visit for movie "GENTAYANGAN" in Melaka & border Johor with Kak Mai, Wahi, and Jackie the intern.

5. June 08 - 3 days Bandung trip with kaklong's offfice and mum. 3 days in Bandung is NEVER enough. You need a week to swallow everything, man.
6. July 08 - Watching teater musical P.Ramlee with Masni, Jis, Iza and Fariz at Istana Budaya. Good show. My skirt got stuck at the escalator in KLCC later on, while Jis screamed her heart out at the sight cuz we all know what would happen if the escalator rip it apart. Phew, near fatal.

7. Aug 08 - 'Hawa's wedding' and 'Kuantan Jalan2 Carik' Penyakit trip with Mun and Lan. Mandi laut di Teluk Chempedak, lepak kat air terjun Sg Pandan, crash Lan's relatives' house dengan tak malunya, Mun 'hospitalised' for allergy to seafood, to returning home smellin like a stinkin fish, 'twas the best.
8. Aug 08 - "ESTET" set visit in Kuala Kangsar. Soffi Jikan, Mamat Khalid & David Arumugam - perfect combination. The best work-based trip ever, though I forced myself the durians.

9. Sept 08 - Majlis Berbuka Puasa MIG at Lemon Restaurant, Mines. CO staff crash the place, like always.
10. Oct 08 - Graduation photography session with Jis and Masni at Fariz's studio in Sect.9 bersempena of Jis' convocation.

11.Oct 08 - Hari Raya Idul Fitr at Kg Mertang Negeri Sembilan with the whole suku selemak minang clan.
12.Oct 08 - "High School Musical 3" bash and premiere. Went there with Maria, Adam, their sister and Swee. 2 bosses included. Babysitting Cinnamon too. Hmm... I did not remember writing any news nor review for this. Did you do all of them, Swee? Oh yeah, that's the boss behind me, pretending to be a plane.

13.Oct 08 - Liliee & Ika's birthday at Bangi.
14.Oct 08 - MBO Terminal 2 Seremban launching. Babysitting stuffy Cinnamon (again). This is me, punching the little thing to stay still at the big number 3. The thought of losing that thing always scares us. Bos antar balik sampai depan umah. Bagus majikan-majikan zaman sekarang. Ahaha.
15.Nov 08 - Lunch at IZZI. Just got back from GSC HQ for that EU Film Festival thingy, still a bit blurry. Was a bit moody that week for the whole Alang accident-amputated hand + career issue + long lecture by the chief about work + relationship brouhahas, also the day I decided in the car that i would give myself another try before I sorted my priorities a month later. Didn't even finish my fetuccini tho I LOVE fetuccinis. By the way, this is the ed team - Wahidumyass, Sweeweewee and Especkiel. Hey, why am I not in this picture? Oh yeah, I took em.

16.Nov 08 - Trip to Melaka with Tim and Mun. Bought myself a keris (haha, letter opener that turned into a weapon i kept in my handbag), two tudung, pistol lastik kayu, menatang untuk urut belakang, wajik, dodol.... ugh, Melaka is an evil cenderamata state. Had to restrain myself from buying the stuffed snake thingy.   
17.Nov 08 - "TWILIGHT" screening. Macam perjumpaan staff CO plak... but because of that I had the greatest time.

18.Nov 08 - "Histeria" Gala Premiere. Went there with Maria and Adam but can't stay long cuz got no transport to balik if later than 11pm. Liyana Jasmay sure wears a lot of make-up cuz I didn't realise that the girl I snap some pic of was actually her. The first time I told Maria I think I am not cut out for the entertainment industry and she supported my resignation 100%. Hahaha. Adeh.
19.Dec 08 - Lepak with friends at dataran Shah Alam, as the last meeting before Tim return to Sabah. Damn you gomen, hantar kawan aku mengajar jauh2!!!

Upon telling Swee about Maria's new image bertudung, she said, "Maybe that is Maria's new year resolution - to wear one. YOU, on the other hand, must make a resolution to remove it."
Haha. Verrrrrry funny. Nice try. Pull a .22 on my head, maybe I'll think about it.

YM-ing bila sepatutnya sedang bekerja
Abd Sani Bin Abd Jalal: kalau ym on ni, susah nak buat kerja
shai laden: haha. tulah, tp die ade otak nak keje ngan otak nak slack off
Abd Sani Bin Abd Jalal: multitasking tu
shai laden: btul btul. dia menguji ketahanan minda seseorang untuk bekerja dan berborak dalam masa yg sama. hanya org2 terpilih je yang boleh melakukannya
Abd Sani Bin Abd Jalal: adakah anda orang itu? soalan yang perlu ditanya kepada diri sendiri
shai laden: ya, saya percaya, hanya dengan usaha yang sungguh2 untuk bermain dan bekerja, keseimbangan itu boleh tercapai dan saya, akan menjadi di antara org yg terpilih itu
Abd Sani Bin Abd Jalal: hahaha. bagus. optimis!

(Been watching "30 ROCK" for 6 hours nonstop. Every time I blink now I can see Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin in my head)

There's a thing about my publisher. When they can't remember the writer's name, they will call us by the title of our book (because there are lots of us under Buku Prima) like, "Ada apa-apa soalan Cinta Terakhir?", or "Kita ada Salju Kasih bersama kita juga hari ni.". Luckily enough, my editors and my GM remember my name, so it ain't too often that they call me by my book title. But still, it's kinda cute, because suddenly when they suddenly forgot my name, they ended up calling me,
"Meh sini, Plain Jane."

Next time, I wanna have my book title something like, "Gadis Jelita" or "Kau Sungguh Genius." atau "Perempuan yang seiras Aishwarya Rai."
Wouldn't that be fun, to be called that when suddenly Kak Sharah forgot my name? Haha.

---

As I commented on Ema's blog once upon a full moon:

"Happiness is when your heart is full but your soul is empty. Satisfaction is when your soul is full but your heart is empty. Success is when you are both happy and satisfied."

In 2009, I will stop waiting for anything. BRRRRRING IT ON!

P/s: It's 2009, blogdrive. Why don't you make 'be a better blog provider with less sourcing issue' your new year resolution, eyh?

"30 ROCK" Marathon. I soo love you, Star World...

Went to the office yesterday. Overall:
1. Answer Kak Mai's inquiries about sinema melayu - CHECKED
2. Pulangkan every single stuff rented from Zee - CHECKED
3. Collect claim - Kak ANI was on EL. No worries, she'll bank in the monay, so I need not berulang ke ofis again.

Then Kak Mai ajak gi 'berpoye2' (gi lunch je pun) to SAJI. Lepas tu balik. Grace is thinking of doing that contest with blogger thingy with my blog, so we'll see how that will turn out. I realised one thing though. I really AM painstakingly bored. As I was talking to Maria, I realised that I knew Ariel will be holding a BBQ party, and Veron is going to Perak without needing Maria telling me all of this... and then also while chatting with Grace, I was like, "No, actually he went from 'single' to 'in a relationship'...." and thought to myself, SERIOUSLY, I seem to read every single post on Facebook. I really AM without a life!

Maria was like, "You're here for your claim?"
"No, I'm here to accompany the guy there (memuncung ke arah si Zulkifli yg sedang khusyuk membuat kerja tanpa menyedari dirinya diumpat di belakang). Kesiaaan dia, all alone typing away."
*Double Snorts*

But I was sleepy the whole time, actually. So balik tu, after chatting a while with Mun about whether or not she'll go to Nellyshop booth this New Year, I fell into a coma. Serious ngantuk. Spent the whole night chatting with Sani the night before. This, I have to remind myself. Next time, if he wants to chat, he has to follow MY GMT. Not Germany's time frame. From talking about writing to the subject of genocide ("Terpengaruh dengan the local culture" alasannya, when I question his 'genocide' answer to everything...), and to discussing about the quality of scripts in TV series and films, by the time he signed off I realised it was 6.30am and I haven't written anything. Padehal elok je dia kat sana baru nak malam.

Dammit. (my neighbours must be quite pissed off with me anyway, laughing like hell malam-malam buta). He will return to Malaysia in 2009 by the way. "Penat mengHeidi-Klumkan diri..." katanya. Good. I'm bored. I need lots of people around. Hahaha.

Aku ngantuk lagi. Bacalah syarahan panjang bapak aku ni, yang telah aku taip sepanjang dia bercerita dengan si Aying.... good stuff (and it all started with Aying asking about Fattah and Hamas).

"Masa tahun 1967, orang-orang Israel pilih untuk ikut jalan yang ada berpuluh ribu tentera Mesir di Terusan Suez, tapi tak berdepan dengan bahagian atas, yang cuma ada berapa ribu tentera Islam yang lain. Bila orang tanya kenapa, jawab Israel, puluh ribuan tentera Mesir tu orang-orang Islam yang sekular, Tapi yang orang-orang islam yang sikit atas tu, tentera Ikhwanul Muslimin. Nampak tak beza dia? Yang berpuluh ribu tu golongan orang yang berperang tapi takut mati. Dia tak sama dengan Ikhwanul Muslimin yang berperang atas nama jihad. Israel lagi takut pada yang ada di atas gunung tu.

Kenapa dia tak takut sekarang? Sebab orang Islam sekarang takut mati. Dah terlampau sekular. Tapi kematian ni, bila-bila masa pun akan datang. Duduk rumah diam-diam pun kalau tiba waktu mati, akan mati jugak. Sebab tu yang diorang takut sangat dengan osama bin Laden. Ikut logik, apa yang Osama boleh buat? Dia cuma lelaki biasa yang ke sana-sini dengan tongkat. Tapi apa yang bezanya dia dengan orang lain? Sebab dia tak takut mati.

Keamanan tu, ertinya dia kena merintah ikut hukum Islam, dengan amanah dan adil. Bila dia buat tu semua, maka Tuhan akan jamin keamanan dan kesejahteraan. Kalau orang hebat sekalipun, kalau Tuhan nak bagi bala... macam dulu-dulu, bukan tak hebat. Atlantis lebih hebat dari New York. Tapi ada lagi Atlantis? Bandar Sa'dum? Dah diterbalikkan. Jadi, macam padang pasir Arab tu, Tuhan letak Siti Hajar, ikut logik biasa boleh ke hidup? Takda air takde pokok. Tapi siapa nak tahu kuasa Tuhan. Cucuk je keluar air zamzam. Orang sampai sekarang pelik, macam mana air zamzam kat tengah padang pasir tu sampai sekarang tak kering-kering. Air perigi pun boleh kering.

Kalaau babi tu haram, kenapa Tuhan cipta babi, orang tanya. kalau Tuhan tak cipta babi, macam mana kau nak tahu dia haram ke tak? Kan? (we all laugh) Kita ada tangan kanan dan tangan kiri. Tapi kalau Tuhan cipta tangan kanan aje, mana kita tahu ada kiri? Macam tulah kita belajar. Sebab tu ada aman damai, dan ada perang. Ada lelaki dan ada perempuan. Kalau semuanya indah, manusia ni tak belajar apa-apa, hidup jahil aje.

Islam diajar untuk berjihad. Sebab tu bila ditindas, dia melawan. Kalau orang lain, bila kena tindas, dia senyap. Ni yang Orang Barat tak faham. Macam dekat negara mana tuh, orang-orangnya tak melawan, sebab tu pemimpin dia jadi diktator. Orang Belanda tak memberontak atas kerajaan Belanda contohnya. Tapi bila Belanda menindas orang Islam, dia lawan balik. Sebab tu banyak kumpulan. Macam Hizbullah, Ikhwanul Muslimin. Sebab dah diajar, 'sabar tu ada batasnya'.    

Diktator ni, lawannya mesti orang yang tak takut mati. Macam Batista dulu. Dia diktator dan dibenci rakyat Cuba. Sebab tu lelaki bernama Castro ni masuk hutan dan jadi guerilla untuk lawan Batista ni. "

Actually ikut cerita sebenar, adalah dalam dua jam. Aku tak larat nak taip.

Oh, I forgot one thing I need to do next year.

Change my ringtone, my SMS tone and my caller ringtone. Seriously, I have been using Mr Darcy's voice for my SMS tone for what? 3 years now? I've been using Jay Chou's "Twilight Chapter 7" for both my ringtone and caller ringtone for 2 years.

Seriously, I nearly able to do a Jay Chou rap by now...

I was watching the TV and saw this one skin care ad featuring Shila - you know, daughter of N.D. Lala who nearly won One in a Million Season 2 if she didn't sing that awful "Oops I Did it Again" again... (I mean, didn't you realise the word 'oops' in that song is subliminally telling you to NOT do it again?). Which makes me think, why the hell all girls in tv commercial spoke in that annoying cutesy voice nowadays?

Last time I watch a KOTEX ad featuring the three girls from "Kisah Kaisara", I almost threw up from the giddiness. Is it a new trend now? To speak like babies? I mean, what's wrong with saying things like, "Sekarang saya rasa lebih berkeyakinan" and give that hundred million dollar smile, rather than wiggle your shoulder, arch your back, give a puppy dog eye and say;
"Shekarrrhang, shaya rhasshe lebey berrhkyakinahn." (add annoying giggle at the end)

Like what Sophia Ridza said in that Korean talkshow, "It's becoming, for Koreans and Japanese girls to be all cutesy. If Malaysians do that, people will look at you weirdly." Like I said before, it isn't wrong to be cute. But not all the time. And moreover, if you are a Malay who speaks Malay 24/7, why the hell do you have to be all slang-ey? I have friends who have a bit of slangs, and that's because they are english speaking people since toddlers. But to have entah minah mana yang baru datang KL all prim and proper suddenly turned into babies and substitute their 'S' with an "Sh" and Perakian 'R' with American 'Rrh' just makes me wanna slap em. For God sake, if you wanna do that act in front of your boyfriend, please. Do. Whatever.

Do NOT try to be all that in front of me.   

But kudos for Silkygirl's new product... that whatsitname fairness cream. I'm not talking about its cheap price of RM1.99. I'm talking about how they advertise that thing. Showing women of all colours and said that all colours are beautiful, BUT if one wants to be fairer, they have a product for that. It's nice and subtle, instead of Fairever and Fair & Lovely's rude and mocking advertisement where they use words like, "Kini anda boleh mengubah masa depan", as if being dark skinned is a ticket to damnation and the only way to live life is to be fairer.

Yes. I admit. I was extremely disturbed and disgusted by it (the 'kini anda boleh mengubah masa depan' slogan). And so are millions of other dark-skinned women out there. Face it, even Condoleezza Rice would feel the same way, though I hate her from the deepest pits of my soul. 

Dialogue of the Day
Shai : Anybody remembered how that Raj Kapoor movie "Mera Naam Joker" ended?
Aying : He was kicked by Batman.
Shai :  ........................You wanna know how a kick feels like?

This how this entry will start...

s.Ha.i says: bring me my POT that day aaa...
Revelation 6:8 says: bring my RM15 that day aaa
s.Ha.i says: yela yela... mata duitan tul...
Revelation 6:8 says: mane ade. i byk mate. mate tetekan, mate duitan, mate bolaan
s.Ha.i says: mate bolaan? banyak sgt mata tetekan tu yg sampai jadi tertekan tuh
Revelation 6:8 says: oh shit. i just realised that this exchange will appear on tehsegan. since your life is so borin, this convo confirm masok
Revelation 6:8 says: mate bolaan la , football fan ma me
Revelation 6:8 says: anyway, dvd cover pun ko nak?
s.Ha.i says: eyh mestila
s.Ha.i says: u see, tadi tak terpiker nak masukkan the conv. now  u gave me an idea
Revelation 6:8 says: fark you la, the minute you typed "tertekan" and realised what a great 1-0 that was, immediately you opened blogspot
s.Ha.i says: takde takde... that's just ur imagination

*POT is not a type of drug. It's a.... purchasable item.

Well dah-lingsss sekalian, of coursela akan aku masukkan. Ngahaha... Anybody calling me a bore again, and I'll put every single conversation inside here. I kept all MSN convos history, you know... since becoming a writer, everything I said and do are documented, as evidence... from plagiarism. What my boss directed (so next time they said otherwise, I got proof.. haha, evil giler), what my colleagues said, what my friends promised...

Speaking of promises (come to think of it, my friends never made any promises... humm... I am the one who forgot my promise to draw a logo for Nad & Yeh's business. AM ON IT! DON'T WORRY! Haha).

2008/1429 flies by like a friggin butterfly (<- ucapan standard setiap tahun). The year I turned 25, the year I suddenly realised that I am actually an entertainment reporter (how peculiar), the year I quit my job, the worst bulan puasa's Quran mission (jangan kata khatam satu Qur'an, surah Al-Baqarah pun tak habis), the year that my trip to GSC increased by 80% (keje ye, keje... bukan suke-suke), the year that I've been outside of Selangor more than five times (Perak, Melaka, Pahang, Negeri Sembilan, Bandung, Johor). Shopping habit increased by 15%, reading behaviour decreased by 30%, lovelife decreased by.............. neh, don't have one. Witty intelligent jokes decreased, dirty jokes increased (that made Swe go "your example getting terukker and terukker" yesterday... hah, as if semua yang keluar dari mulutnya semuanya penuh kesopananla kan. pffft... akaka), rate of seriousness balanced, rate of sarcasm = countless.

The year I experienced: gala premieres, situations at shooting locations, celebrities true behaviours, etc etc etc. 

This year, Shai konon-konon ada azam (konon2, sebab for sure dia tak ikut punyalah. Makcik hipokrit ni memang... akaka):
1. GET A HAIRCUT!
2. Siapkan dua novel... at least (ini kena buat, kalau tak, tak berasap dapur 'imaginary' aku)
3. Lesen memandu. What kind of 25 year old takde lesen memandu? Embarrasing!
4. Tukar layout tehsegan. Have pester Cik masniDASHazian - the layout pro and blogdrive html translator, for what she called an 'Einstein with black eyeliner meets spring' theme.
5. Try my hand on english novel. Zee, wanna be my editor? Imma annoy your royalist butt to bits. Ahahahaha... Ok, seriously, try writing one. Doesn't need to be published in 2009, but at least WRITE ONE!
6. Tadika tadika tadika tadika tadika.
7. Khatam satu Quran... ok, make it khatam twice, to cover the stupidity of 2008.
8. Compile all the stuff that I know how to cook, and stuff that I don't. And learn how to!
9. Stop eating after 8pm (I shud have this resolution yearsss ago). Did you know I used to weigh only 47kg?
10. Bayar hutang PTPTN. When it comes to bayar PTPTN, I'm like Becky Bloomwood. 

Eyh, good info from my mum....
"BOBBY is Raj Kapoor's movie which is a true story about himself. In "Bobby", Rishi Kapoor's character is a Christian in love with Dimple Kapadia (Bobby), from a Hindu family, and her family were against the relationship. In truth Raj Kapoor (who directed the movie) was a Hindu in love with Nargis (prominent Bollywood actress), who is a Muslim and Nargis' family was against it."
"Ooo..."
"But later on Nargis married Sunil Dutt, also a Hindu."
"Chey.... apa da... Heleh, sebenarnya taknak anak kawin dengan Raj Kapoor je, bagi alasan agama plak. Last2 hancus gak. Raj Kapoor hensem apa, macam Clark Gable. Akakakaka..."
"Pastu in real life, Rishi Kapoor wanted to marry Dimple Kapadia, but Raj tak kasi."
"Chey.... classic life immitates art."

My mum.... the classic Bollywood expert. Jon, nak lawan? Ahahahahaha....

So, SELAMAT TAHUN BARU 1430 Hijriyyah!!!
(Actually ikut tahun Islam aku dah 26............. shit.)

"Shai, dari aku belum kawin sampai aku dah balik dari Mesir ko tak tukar caller ringtone?"

Indo telenovelas
The thing about staying at home is, your mum will try to convert you into a telenovela obsessed fan. That's why I stayed away from being near the television nor tried to ask what my mum's watching. Just don't ever try to move your eyes from the laptop to the tv. Of the one thing you ask, you will get a long answer that desires you to join the telenovela craze. Like the fact when mum was watching this Indonesian telenovela 'JELITA'. Felt the oddity of a 'dyed-red-haired' poor girl by the name of Jelita, I tried to question its ridiculousness.
"She's poor? And yet she has styled hairdo and dyed it red?" me ask, with a sarcastic tone.
"Oh, she is poor, but she's a model. The rich guy likes her but he thought that the woman who killed his father was Jelita's mum. But the thing is it's not the mother. It's the father, and that's because..."
See, mum is a genius at converting people into telenovela freaks. My sister was influenced by her till she now is obsessed with "Putri yang Terbuang". I am NOT going to be that easily influenced. I hate Indonesian telenovelas.

Diana Danielle and PLKN
True to the hypocrisy of the big'uns of Malaysia, the Pan Asian lass got a special exemption at the moment from PLKN due to her obligation with a contract. Ah? Remember the poor boy who was sued because he failed to show up to PLKN? The fact that he did that because he was too poor and had to work to serve his poor family was never even thought about by these thickheaded morons before they sue his ass off. Now it's "Oh, poor Dee, she got a contract. Let's waive it off of her."
I ain't gonna put this blame on Diana Danielle. She got loads of loath from 17 year olds all over Malaysia at the moment, that's enough for her. Imma give a fuckfinger to the JLKN for this.
JLKN and Censorship Board got one same trait. MAKE UP YOUR MIND! What kind of rules do u guys have?

YES MAN
No, I have yet to watch the movie. But I am turning into one. Senang kata, I am the 'SURE' girl. The claustrophobia transition thing has made me an 'agreeable' person. Like,
"Shai, temankan aku gi amik borang kat JAIS?" "Sure."
"Shai, jom kita gi tengok wayang?" "Sure."
"Shai, jom lepak tido umah aku." "Sure."
"Shai, ko tolonglah sebar2kan fasal tudung-tudung aku ni eh?" "Sure."
Yup. The Sure Shai. Or 'Shuai'. Muahahaha...
Turn back the clock back 2 months ago, semua ajakan ends up with "Bagi aku piker dulu..."

EXCERPTS FROM WHAT I'VE BEEN USING MY CLAUSTROPHOBIC SITUATION WITH:

"Yelah tu, tak ada apa-apa. Aku tanya kau, kenapa tak siap lagi pergi Art Gallery, kau main bucu baju. Mesti ada yang tak kena."

                "Mana ada kau kata kenapa tak siap lagi pergi Art Gallery. Kau tanya, kenapa duduk dekat sini lagi."

                "Haha, Iza. Kau jangan nak guna loyar buruk aku. Aku dah ada copyright untuk loyar buruk tu. Baik kau cerita dengan aku cepat, sementara aku masih terhutang budi dengan kau sebab belikan nasi lemak kukus ni." Ujarku.

                Iza berhenti bermain dengan lengan bajunya, dan kini memandangku dengan wajah yang teragak-agak.   

                "Tadi aku dengan Sham pergi makan tengahari dekat Pyramid. Lepas tu dia terjumpa kawan lamanya." Ujar Iza sambil menggerakkan dua jari telunjuk dan jari hantu kedua-dua tangannya apabila menyebut perkataan ''kawan lama' itu.

                Oh.

                'Kawan lama' memang satu perkataan yang mengancam sesiapa pun. Dan dalam erti kata yang lainnya, ia satu perkataan yang menakutkan apabila ia seperti yang akan ku tanyakan pada Iza ini:

"Teman  rapat?"

                "Kawan baik masa sekolah."

                "Bangsa?"

                "Melayu."

                "Ouh."
                "Pan Asian."
                "Ouh! Lawa?"

                "Extremely hot."

                "Karakteristik lain yang rasanya boleh menggugat kestabilan?"
                "Tinggi, sangat ramah-tamah, dan bekerja di Kedutaan Amerika."

                "Cantik, baik dan bijak." Ku rumuskan, dan mengangguk-angguk sendiri. Dan kembali memberikan tumpuanku kepada makanan yang terhidang.

                "Safi!"              

                "Aku nak cakap apa. She's a triple threat. Kau lupakanlah Sham." Ujarku dan ketawa.

                Iza mencebik. Jelas wajahnya kebuntuan. Sudahlah dalam keadaan hubungan mereka yang tidak bernama, kemunculan seorang gadis seperti yang disebutkan sememangnya membuatkan dia rasa tergugat dan kerisauan.  Dan ia bukanlah masanya untuk aku bergurau.

                "Iza, janganlah risau sangat. Bukannya seolah kalau dah berjumpa tu, Sham dengan the hottie akan bercinta. Jangan cepat sangat buat konklusi. Entah-entah si hottie tu dah ada teman lelaki pun." Pujukku.

                "Ya, terima kasihlah sebab menggelar dia 'si hottie', as if terpaksa menerima yang Sham ada kawan baik perempuan tu tak cukup lagi mengurangkan keyakinan aku, sekarang aku diingatkan berkali-kali yang perempuan tu cantik." Ujar Iza.

                Ku ketawa lagi.

                "Maaflah. Jadi sebab tu saja kau ragu-ragu nak pergi Art Gallery dengan Sham?" tanyaku lagi. Ku alihkan dua keping timun ke tepi, ia hanya merosakkan rasa nasi lemak kukus panas itu dengan kesejukannya.

                "Bukan ragu-ragu. Aku yang batalkan."  

                Ok. Ini bahagian di mana kita harus berhenti mengunyah dan mengalihkan pandangan ke arah sahabat kita dengan gaya dramatik dan bertanya,

                "Kenapa?"

                "Tak tau. Tapi firasat aku macam suruh aku batalkan." Ujar Iza, mula bermain dengan lengan bajunya, sambil tunduk merenung meja makan.

                "Supaya Sham tau kau cemburu?" tanyaku pendek.

                "Mana ada aku cemburu. Kenapa nak cemburu pula? Lagipun, aku siap beritahu dia untuk ajak Eliz… oh ya, nama perempuan tu Eliz… maksud aku tadi, aku yang cadangkan dia ajak Eliz tu pergi, jadi dia dengan Eliz boleh catch up on things." Jawab Iza.

                "Eliz? Kau pasti ke perempuan ni betul wujud? Cantik, baik dan bijak dengan nama yang sedap? Macam tak realistik aje." Ku ketawa lagi, tetapi lekas ku usaikan tawa itu apabila ku lihat Iza merenungku tajam.

                Berdehem dan membetulkan suara.

                "Za, kau batalkan dan kau cadangkan dia bawa Eliz pergi Art Gallery tu. Itu macam tahap cemburu yang sangat tinggi. It's called denial dan kau cuma buat mamat tu makin keliru." Jelasku.

                "It's bad?" Iza nampak risau.

                "Tak. Pada aku itu bagus, kalau kau nak buat dia rasa terancam, kalau kau nak buat dia rasa yang dia dah hilang genggaman pada kau. Bagi dia keluar dengan perempuan macam Eliz, nampak macam kau tak cemburu dan tak kisah langsung. Tapi, sekarang ni kau yang susah hati. If you're playing a game, you gotta play it right."

                "Aku tak main-main."

                "Nampak? Sebab tulah kau sekarang ni tengah menyesal, sambil main-main lengan baju, dan temankan aku makan. Tapi sebenarnya otak kau tengah fikir apa yang Sham tengah buat sekarang, sama ada perempuan tu akan pakai baju yang cantik sampai Sham terpesona. Lepas tu kau fikir pula, sama ada Sham akan ingat dekat kau sekalipun ada Eliz si hottie dekat sebelah dia. Lepas tu…"

                "Aku malaslah nak cakap dengan kau ni, Safi." Si gadis berlalu ke biliknya.

                Aku ni pun satu hal. Saja-saja menyimbah minyak ke dalam api yang marak.

               

I was massaging my neck after staring too long at the screen, and suddenly felt something weird. So I rub it off my skin and realised that it's dried blood. Coming from my neck.

Hmmm. That's new. If you realised that I am drawn to your neck and have longer fangs than usual, please notify me. I may have been bitten by Jasper Hale for all I know (jokes about Edward Cullen are sooo lame nowadays, had to find another vampire example). I'm still not sure where did it came from. My head, my neck or my shoulder. Somewhere 'out there' (meaning the part of my body that are invisible to my own eyes), I must have some weird painless injury.  

I had a meet n greet with my publisher and other writers, the one thing I am unimitigatedly bad at - "MINGLING". Sometimes I feel like, how did I ended up becoming a human being, what's with such extremely bad social interaction? Or... how did I end up being bad at social interaction when it's not forced upon me? I mean, come to think of it, when I was in high school, I was not this painstakingly shy person. I don't talk much, but at least I can go in front of the class and just present without needing too much preparation. Same with being in IIUM. I always pride myself for being the girl who has no qualms talking about foreign aid and investments in Ataul Huq's lecture. I was cocky about it. But now?

Even a question like, "What's the new title for your book?" made me go "Err..." I answer every single question with smile or frown or smirk or any facial expression that can substitute words known to men. Or sometimes no facial expression at all, in which the former employer called "Syahida's poker face".

So, in the MnG session, I spent more time hiding behind Kak Siti's shadow, though come to think of it, in terms of becoming a writer, I would be her senior (in terms of success, she's waaaay more senior than moi). I was more comfortable talking to the editors (and sometimes at bookfairs, with the designers). Heck, I am even more comfy being around our GM. Not that I don't like talking to other writers. They're friendly people. It's not them. It's me. I'm retarded. That's why most of my friends are friendly talkative lot. It's easier to be around talkative people because they talk and ask questions. And I based my conversations on what they ask me. The more they ask, the more I talk. And if the question hits the jackpot, then I will suddenly turn into this talkative monster who can't stop. It's like a gate. There's a key to open it. My bestfriends know how to make me talk. At CO, it would be Wahi (and that's because he talks like there's no tomorrow) and Kak Ani.

And maybe Matthew MacFadyen. But he's married. Ha.

But when it comes to YM/MSN chat, I am good at it. Really. If human being talk through fingers, I can confidently say I'm like the Anwar Ibrahim of chats... ngahahahaha... verbally, I'm like Pink Panther. Have you ever heard the pink panther talks?

I rest my case.   

I don't have any pics from the Meet n Greet session cuz poor people like me have no cameras (nor driving license, nor sense of closure, come to think of it). For more, try find it in Berita Harian or any of Karangkraf magazines later next month or something.

In a shorter note: 

i) I kept seeing Steve Irwin on Animal Planet channel. I mean, how long has he been dead? Can't the channel let us 'miss' him before showing all his shows? From the day he died until now, it didn't feel like the guy's gone.

ii) In the light of PFM's new suggestion to FINAS that all Hollywood movies in cinemas shud be priced at RM20, lemme tell you, I sokong it 110%! You do that... I'm all for it... (sambil mendail nombor telefon pirated dvds sharks).

iii) Mawekins should not be called 'Raja Sehari. 3 wedding receptions! That's "Raja 3 Hari". The amount of ad in ASTRO about their wedding? That would make them "Raja Berhari-hari". I stop watching ASTRO Ria nowadays cuz i'm sick of it. Not their fault, you can't blame people when they're too popular for their own good. But seriously, the filthy business of SMSing Mawekins to say congratulations? And need to pay 50cents per SMS for it? What's the world coming in to? If you ask people to put 50cents into those transparent cases at McD or KFC they'll be like, "Oh you can't trust these people. They won't give the money to orphans like they're saying. They will use it for themselves." Uhuh, ahah. How about the 50cents you give to say "Moga berbahagia ke anak Cucu, Mawi and Ekin!"? Any orphans are fed through that? I mean, yeah, Mawi's half an orphan but that doesn't count.

iv)  I am having one of those claustrophobias. Tim said it's the transition from working life, to working life without an office, nor working hours, nor colleagues (actually I have. It's 9.30pm to 6am... as opposed to the am-pm in ofc). I am thinking of crashing Mun's office so I will have that aura of an office - at least Lan and Mun can pretend that they're Zee and Swee (but then again, they can't possibly make extreme porn jokes like those two), or Marea and Marcel, or Kak Ani and Vinsen. But then again, I need to get used to this. As much as I love to play JAIS around those two, I need to move around a bit. Tim suggested that I follow her to Sabah. Cool. Too poor to do that, but cool.  

v) Do you realise how I don't discuss about the 'Bush got shoe-ed in Iraq' issue? That's because the person that I would like to see get shoe-ed is actually Condoleezza Rice. Come here to Malaysia, and I will throw her killer heels buatan Gombak (no point throwing expensive Pradas at someone you hate). I don't have any, but I sure would buy one just to do that.  

Wow, I spent thirty minutes of my time doing flixter personality quizzes that are bollocks in every sense of the word (I mean how can one be Rhett Butler in one quizz and get Scarlett O'Hara in another?)... I must be reaaally bored.

I lost them.

My "Noroi" and "Once". Do you know how hard it was to get those two movies? Now I lost both. I'm damn sad.

I also lost some memories. You know how awkward it is when you saw one of your acquaintance with another guy, who turns out to be her new squeeze and then you wanted to ask her about the former squeze and you were like,
"Hey, so... what happened to... I mean..." then have this inside your head:
Who was it? Eric? No, that's not his name. Jason? But that's Jill's boyfriend... eyh, no, Jill's bf would be... who was it again? Omigod, I once tumpang his car and now I can't even remember the poor chap's name. And, who IS Jason anyway? Whatever. Was it, let's see... Bryan? No, that's Swee's squeeze... Sebastian? That's Grace's husband... Darren? Aaron? Isn't that Yuen's brother... Whuttafuck is the guy's name?

Ah, screw it.

I also lost the will to write after non-stop writing from 9pm until azan Subuh yesterday, so I decided to google my own nickname 'SHAI' and see all the other Shai's out there.
So far, it just made me feel weird.

1. Shai - the deification of the concept of fate in Egyptian mythology. Also known as the God of Fate....
God of Fate...? I can't even tell my own fate let alone.... ah, screw it.
2. Shai (the band) -an early 1990s R&B/soul quartet with hits like "If I Ever Fall in Love", "I Don't Wanna Be Alone" and "InshaAllah" feat. a German rapper.......
Hmmmm...
3. SHAI (pre-MOSSAD) - Sherut ha'Yediot ha'Artzit or National Information Service.... secret service and counter espionage pre-state Israel.
Ugh... that's a disgrace to my own belief in Palestinian Freedom.
4. Shai Hulud - Some weird suicidal we-hate-the-world progressive/metal/hardcore band playing at 'The Progressive Damnation' and 'Wisdom in Chain' Tour, and influenced by other music like Iron Maiden and Propagandhi...
Yup... hardcore. Like my nose when it's phlegm season. Sigh.
5. Shai Lee - Porn actress.
We are not discussing her. End of story.

Oh yeah, CONGRATULATIONS Dr Abdul Rahman Tang Abdullah, for being awarded with the IIUM Achievement Award. Yeah yeah I know he can't read this unless I can do a braille blog (how to make a braille blog? Or a braille blog in chinese. Sooo impossible), but I'm proud for being one of your students! I learn so much, especially on how to call other people 'idiot' and to laugh at my own weaknesses. Ha! (Benda lain yang diajar, benda lain yang aku dapat). I missed his classes... or how he called a certain someone 'Bodoh dan naif!".  

Last Tuesday, my and my friends decided to go out, all four of us, before Nad go for holiday in Singapore and Tim returns to Sabah. Seriously, why are the people around me makin menjauh? Mengapa, Tuhan? Mengapa? (poyo dramatik. Saja-saja nak dijadikan cerita, kan... akaka). But since none of us wants to hang out in these place which is called "cinemas" & "shopping malls", we decided to do dinner at Kedai Kopi (which is a name of a restaurant... TM) near the Shah Alam mosque, and then lepak dekat dataran.

Seriously, THAT is more fun than anything else. Just take of our shoes and walk about. No need any tikar getah, nor picnic basket, just us and the soggy field (it was after rain). That place is heaven in itself, as it feels like those years before the creation of Play Stations and ASTRO. I mean, there are people playing badminton, kids running around, a mother helping her baby with her first step, big shiny cars showdown, pasangan bercinta yang memang best kalau kena tangkap dengan JAIS, and some people loafing around. But there were only us, lepak tengah-tengah padang and reminisce about the old days at SMKAKS and ghost stories (dah namanya budak2 SMKAKS, kalau takde cerita hantu, maksudnya you have not BEEN in SMKAKS enough).

Pukul 11 je blah, sebab ibu mengandung bernama Nadiah tak boleh dibiarkan berembun lama-lama. Haha...

Eh, sesiapa yang ada nombor telefon baru atau nombor telefon yang aku tak tau, sile jangan 'missed call', ye. Saya ni memang tak akan call balik la nombor2 yang tak ku kenali dan menganggapnya sebagai 'salah nombor'.

"You are borin. You need exercise." Says the colleague.
"You're still doing the job for the office?!" the friend ask.
"Sampai bila, Shai?" the blogger once nag.
"Life's a bitch." says the guy in Stephen King's novel.
"I got no life." I once told Firdaus.

Seriously. I think what I really need is a life. A real selfish life. A story. A drama. Of my own. Yup, Fariz was right (somewhere out there, Farizzet goes "Huh? Who say my name?" Ha.). I need to just open the gate. I need to get hurt. I need to be saved from all this comfortable position I am in and to be pushed down the jagged edge. I need to throw away all my hostility, my jaket keselamatan, my hair.

Huh? My hair?

I need a haircut. And I don't mean shoulder-length layered hairstyle like I did last time when I say I need change. i mean, a REAL haircut. Boy-cut. Cut away all the Rapunzels, do a Fraulein Maria hairdo, feel the breeze kissing my neck. My hair is my safety net. It represents everything that I don't want to deal with. I know that. I don't want to cut it short because I am scared that I would love it so much that I don't want to have my hair long again. Or I'm scared that i would hate it so much that I would regret cutting it. I'm scared that if I cut my hair, people will see the scars behind my neck, or the fact that I have chubby cheek, or that I got big ears or any weaknesses that may or may not be there. I'm scared that if I cut it short it would be uncomfortable to wear a tudung, or that I may need to wear anak tudung. I'm scared it might make me pretty, as much as I'm scared that it might make me ugly.

I am too comfortable at the moment.

I have done my own leap of faith with my career. I am now what I wanna do. I once wrote an essay when I was in Form 3, that "I want to become a freelance writer." I am now. I am blessed, that God grant my wish. (I also said one day Imma marry someone from a different country/race, but the last time I met a Norwegian, I knew that was a stupid wish. Retract. Haha). I need to do the same with my personal life. I. Need. A. New. Chapter.

Like my novel.

This is the problem when you got too much time to think. I also have consistency issue. I mean, I can be very determined when i want to, but I got no istiqamah. I said I wanted to quit.  Voila, I did quit. I said I won't do any freelance for CO. But still, my... body... is... yearning... for... press... previews...

Nad, help me...

Oh yeah, by the way (saja2 lari dari menyelesaikan kehidupan sendiri), belilah tudung Nad & Yeh. Best tul pakai. Rase macam tak pakai. Haha. Like this one:


This tudung is sooooo comfortable, balik rumah pun rasa taknak bukak. Go to http://nellyshop.blogspot.com for more.   
 
"You're too preoccupied with solving people's problem, you neglect to have your own." another friend said.

Takde... takde.. aku cuma nak iklankan tudung Nad je... huuu...

Dialogue of the day
"Sebenarnya kan Tim, aku dengan boss aku ada pertalian."
"Boss yang mana?"
"Vinsen."
"Pertalian apa?"
"Pertalian darahlah."
"Ye ke? Bos ko tau ke? mana ko tau ni?"
"Yelah, kita sama-sama keturunan Nabi Adam..."
"................................. haha, bangang, aku terkena! Mesti lama ko nak piker lawak tu, kan?"
"Tak la lama. Yang lama tu memikirkan nak guna nama siapa yang boleh buat ko terkejut. Hahaha."