It's the durian season again. The durian craze! Which reminds me of what Mun said, "Nowadays everything is black and white in my dad's eyes except for Durians."

I am not a durian fan (kata mereka: What? So "annoyingly-urbanish" la you, tak makan durian... berlagak...)
But I do love tempoyak (kata mereka: Eeuw... durian peram garam... yucks....)

Yeah, who's the 'annoyingly urban' now?

Dad has been pestering mum by going back and forth Sri Menanti - Shah Alam just so he can tebas semak and kutip durian. Mum is annoyed, since going back and forth means lots of gas money and tolls to be paid and we ain't that rich. I was like, "Mum, you do know dad's social calendar is empty for a whole year except when it comes to Durian Season. It's like his only reason for living.... January to June - Lepak hisap rokok. July - DURIAN SEASON!!!!! August to December - Lepak hisap rokok balik and berenti kejap for bulan puasa. Let him enjoy the only time that means a lot to him."

But anyway, dad seems to note a new thing on his list of 'what-to-do-to-reduce-stress' and that is:

- Make my wife miserable.

I mean, this morning, mum asked him to go to the market to buy 'rebung' so she could make masak lemak ayam. With the listening problem that he has, mum had to speak as loud as she can.
"Ayah, nanti karang awak pergi kedai beli rebung ya?"
"Beli tabung?"
"Rebung!"
"Chembong?"
"REEEEBOOOOONGGGG!!!!"
"Bumbung?"
(Shai menyampuk) "Ayah, yang tu memang bukan pekak, kan? Yang tu saja-saja buat tak dengar, kan?"

And then he continued reading the paper and hide his smile, while mum went on babbling about "not-buying-alat-pendengaran" and stuff.

Not to mention, once, he went to the dusun with Paklang to collect durian. You know how durian trees tend to grow on steep hilly places? So, my dad went up the hill and on his way down, he slipped near this one giant rock. He didn't fell all the way down (which consequence can be fatal), but it shocked Paklang down at the hut and he was shouting,

"Abang Din! Abang Din!" thinking that my dad has fell down into the ravine.

What did dad do? Instead of shouting back that he's okay, he just sat still under the rock and let Paklang worry to death.

"Not funny, dad." says I upon hearing the story.


Last time in Terengganu, the guy in Pasar Payang tried to sell me asam jawa. The price were RM4 for a bag, RM7 for 2 bags, and RM10 for 3 bags. I looked away and was thinking if I should buy some jeruk.
"Jeruk tak elok untuk kesihatan, dik. Asam jawa tak apa." he said.
Yeah, if that's so, why the hell you jual jeruk in the first place?
I didn't say that. I kept it inside. As usual. Ha.

So, I thought what the heck, not every day I'm here. So I bought three packs of asam jawa. And then went, what the hell am I supposed to do with hundreds of asam jawa?

Gotta get some sleep now. Got a job to do and a few Western Food Section Mid Valley cooks I have to say HI to. Haven't seen them for two months, they must have been missing their loyal Salmon skillet spaghetti customer. And got some detours to make. Kak Ani called last Wednesday saying that Marcel "missed" me so much he was asking about that RM40 I owe the company.   

Ye, ye, I'm paying.

Something funny occurred today.

I  was on my way back from the office after doing a trans on Wally Amos (who I realised is one hell of a former cheating bastard, but makes great cookies, and made me crave for a bag of Famous AMOS choc chips and pecans). As usual I made my detour into the restaurant to buy me carrot juice when I saw someone familiar. But since it was like, 6 years since I last saw her, and she was with a group of male friends (which is typical, makes you realise some things don't change after years) I decided to put my cellphone to my ear and shout her name instead in hopes that if I got the wrong person, I could pretend that I was on the phone.

"ZUNN!"

She turns her head, with eyes bulging and screamed,
"CHE SHAAAAIIII!!! Oh my God oh my God! Che Shai!!!"
(she is the only person in the world calling me "Che Shai")

And went on a hugging frenzy and was like, "I thought I saw someone coming to the restaurant and feels like deja vu. It is you!"

Turns out she is working at PointFlex which is next to the restaurant, while I have been a pekerja bergelandangan for the office for three months already and they're just a couple of offices away. But since I always got out early, we never stumbled upon each other during lunch hour or stuff like that.

Zunn, as some of you might recall is my next-desk buddy in high school. Since Tim, Mun and Nad were all technical students and I'm the only bozzo who got stuck in Accounts (thank God anyway, because I sure can't survive physics), Zunn was my bestfriend in the class. It's funny, because we were opposites. She was more into broken guys, and panadol-in-the-Coke, and I was the rule-follower who would look at her and go, "Wouldn't that become a drug?" But she's fun to hang out with because she has this ability to just lie and conned people with a straight face.

She should play poker.

(Hmm... I always find friends like that... that would explain Chaq...) <- Shai's moment of finding herself. Ha.

But anyway. I was just introduced to a new Shai joke - you know, the annoying jokes guys always do when I am introduced as "Shai", like, "Oh, shy shy cat...", or "How shy are you?" or "You don't look shy to me..." in which I go, "Ha.Ha. Good one. Yeah........" Grumble. Grumble.
But this time, my friend's friend looks at me and went,

"Shai? Short for what? Shai-yang (Sayang)?"

"Ha.Ha. Good one. Yeah." No grumble.
I can't be annoyed. That's original, that's the first time I heard that. It considered funny and kinda cute... FOR NOW... Everything sounds cute when you heard it for the first time.

Shaiyang... that could be a nice mushy nickname if I ever want one... NOT NOW.

Hell, my schedule is upside down. Why the hell I kept working late at nights and still couldn't finish a single thing? I have not even called Luncai Emas about the tickets to M.Nasir concert. Sorry, Ema, I'll try to find a time to do that.

Paklong ajak gi Jertih to Mimi's wedding. I want to see a childhood friend get married but I can't do Terengganu twice in a week's time. Although I do want to check out that place in Marang again... ouh, I want to go to there...

Speaking of Terengganu, I have this one funny story. You know how Terengganu people sometimes say their NG to N and N to NG like, "Sakit pinggan basuh pinggang..." and other jokes like, "Tak ke Agon nak buat gitu denge Husseing Ong..."...
When I was in Matrics UIA, I was chosen as one of the naqibah and we had to go to its meeting where the head nuqaba' - a Terengganu guy - had to explain our duties and stuff and trying so hard to swallow his Terengganu accent so all of us accent-nincampoops can understand him better. So, I was sleepy and he was saying something that made me laugh. He went;
"Abang bukan apa, abang cuma nak tekankan di sini..."
But since his N turns NG, it sounded like this,
"Abang bukan apa, abang cume nak terkangkang di sini..."

Sadly, only I find it funny. The others looked at me and went, "Sshhh..."

Pfft, can't even appreciate a joke. 

Wow... they say AlQaida bombed the Sunnis in Iraq. America must be extremely dumb if they think people gonna believe it. I mean, the American soldiers are going to retreat in a month time and suddenly there are attacks? Why, at least be reasonable if you want to accuse AlQaida - bombing the Sunnis? That is the most unlikeliest thing ever. Then they were like, "Oh yeah, we just realised that's not rational since the majority of Muslims are Sunnis, and that would mean AlQaida members too, so let's make it balanced again..." and accuse them of bombing the Shiites.

Dumbos...

Another dumbo would be Mousavi. It's one thing you want to accuse Ahmadinejad of cheating in election. He won 60% of majority while you got 30%. 60! What an irrational claim is that! And then all the medias in the world pun bersorak sorai kata Ahmadinejad is a tyrant. And us stupid people who believe in media nodd our head. It's easy to bully a quiet guy like Ahmadinejad, right? The put the picture of that woman who died in the demonstration because people can't stand seeing a dead woman, right?   

Tiba-tiba je CNN baik sangat nak broadcast turmoil in Iran... why?
Because they're always afraid of a leader yang bersolat jemaah bersama rakyatnya, a leader who once smiled and said Bush is having a dementia, a leader who looked into Anderson Cooper's face and not be swayed by his double meaning questions, a leader who is not swayed by his position and still lives a normal unluxurious life.

Because people like him reminded them of Osama bin Laden - but with a legitimate country and a winning smile.

I just got back from Terengganu. Sent Ajik to UMT (pinjam TOYOLta Wish Paklong, sebab our cars can't do above 200km), and he'll be there for the next three years or so to study Agrotech (how I laughed... yup, the only physical scientist in our family). The family's plan was to open the door, kick him out of the car, throw his luggage outside and leave ala Russian mafioso. But Aying suddenly jadi baik and hantar barang naik atas. All of us gave Ajik some money and just before we leave we realised that he has already gone to his room.

Cinnaker punye budak, dapat duit terus lesap.

Before that, dad was being all worried wart again, giving these advice and that. I was like, "Dad, you have sent him to Negeri Sembilan, then Melaka, now Terengganu. We have been kicking him out of the house all the time. Stop being so sappy."

We went to the beach in Batu Burok, and since you can't swim there (they have uneven ocean floor, dangerous for people) I spent the evening playing kites with Ajik, because Aying broke his promise and spent the evening talking to dad - who talked about how the waves crush, Russian satellites and apa saja lagila. Probably interesting stuff, but I'm on the beach. I don't listen to highly educational stuff on the beach.

On our way home, I saw that land Mun talked about, the place we targetted to open a homestay. I knew right away I want that place. You know how sometimes we sleep at night and dream of a place we want to be at? It's that place. I dreamt of it. I WANT TO GO TO THERE! (Bak kata Liz Lemon in "30 Rock"). Dad said that Pakcik Shafril has a land in Rusila, near the beach.

"Agaknya, kalau orang nak beli tanah dia, Pakcik Shafril nak kasi diskaun tak, cam yang dia selalu bagi bile beli bunga api ngan mercun dari die?" I jokingly asked mum.
"Pergilah kahwin dengan anak dia, satu-satunya waris harta dia. Bukan kata tanah, ko boleh dapat kedai2 dia, apartment die, harta die, ko nak bukak tadika ke, kedai kek ke, boleh aje..." mum retorts.

Sikit-sikit je kawin, sikit-sikit je kahwin. Asal cerita fasal perlukan duit banyak je, mule suruh aku kahwin dengan anak Pakcik Shafril like that is an answer for everything... What? I can't find my own wealth? I need a guy's wealth to do what I want? That's the most antediluvian of all thoughts.

I am NOT marrying a rich guy, especially kekayaan yang diwarisi dan bukan atas hasil usaha sendiri.
Huh, feministik plak ayat itu...

I saw this poster and I knew I want to watch this.


Forget about Johnny Depp becoming Mad Hatter, Stephen Fry gonna be The Cheshire Cat! You got "Little Britain" Matt Lucas playing Tweedledumb & Dee, Alan Rickman playing the caterpillar, there's Jabberwock, and Michael Sheen as The Rabbit.

I want to go to that!!!! 

So... after canceling it twice, I finally went to watch "Pentukar: Dendam Robot Terjatuh" (Transformers lah... yea, a "freelance translator" right?). So I can use my victorious win some other time. So they say, if you gotta go watch Transformers, go watch with the pro. Aying, being that little guy who used to believe there is a planet called Cybertron, is the right person for the job. And also because I have booked the show and he knew it. If I canceled, I'm gonna be one unforgiven sister.

The thing is, I was sleepy. The show starts at 10.30pm and I was sleepy to the core. I guess that's because I have been busy the whole week with things that include finding whether Trans-Atlantic is spelled like that or like transatlantic. You might think it's redonkulous, but trust me, in this business, knowing that is crucial.

Aying was so excited that he forced us to go to Pyramid at 8.30pm. Then we went to eat at A&W. So to fight sleepiness, I observed people while chatting with my sibs, and suddenly this girl came down and sit at the table next to us. She was wearing a singlet and shorts and try to cover herself with a pashmina. I went, "Talking about 'pointless'..." but then, she sat down and there it was, blue polka dotted thong stickin out from the shorts, so I looked at Aying and went, "Talk about pointless, and wearing pants not of your own size." And sleepy me is a mean me, let's enjoy the picture of her I took.


Yeah, mean Shai is a fun Shai, right? "Oh, that's not nice of you to snap a pic of someone with thongs showing, Shai..."...
Yeah, "Two 'thongs' don't make a right"
IT'S A PUBLIC PLACE, CONTROL YOUR THONGDOINGS.
KIDS, DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME. DON'T TRY THIS ANYWHERE. DON'T TRY A THONG.

Then while waiting for the movie, I stand against the wall and read a banner of a Karaoke place? See here:


Yeah, of course... is there any other karaoke joints allowing activities like biting tits? It's TIDBITS, dofus, don't use titbits.


And one mug of beer is equal to 2 normal drinks? Now, I might be "insane", but, two free glass of drinks against a type of liquid that kills innocent people on the road? Yeah, do the rational math.

Then before we enter the cinema, me and Aying stare at the film characters above stores (termasuk A&W), the one under TGV, and realised we can name 80% of the movies they come from.

Anyways.... I just realised why the hell I always gave bad reviews to movies on PPs? That's because it's in the morning and I am sleepy. When sleepy, I am cranky. When I am cranky I see faults everywhere... that explains "The Uninvited" and "Burn"... except for "Eden Lake" (which I gave 4.5stars) because screaming bloody murder head-burning Indian kid can wake any sleeping giant. So I was snoozey and all and thought that maybe I can sleep in the hall while the movie is playing.

WRONG. It turns out you can't sleep with Optimus Prime shooting stuff straight into your eardrums. In 5 years, I am gonna be deaf. I made notes in my cellphone... because, well... just read it:

SHAI's BLACK NOTES ON TRANSFORMERS 2 MOVIE

1. I never knew Ironhide is British... Wow, even robots are divided into yanks and brits.
2. Since when did Bumblebee turned into La Beouf's dog?
3. Megan Fox is still useless. Yes, I am very unfair to her and I will continue on being one until she can fuckin stop talking about how "sexy" she is and not comparing herself to Angelina Jolie. Heck, you can adopt the whole Hanoi for all I care and you are still NOT Angelina Jolie. (I don't even like Jolie, what the hell am I talking about).
4. I know they're trying to emphasize on the robots than the humans, and do it like the old cartoons way where the robots really do conversate... it's fine, except that who the hell is Mudflap and why the two annoying twon robots have to be made? I mean, you have an ex-CIA and a Puerto Rican for comic relief, you got Galloway to be the annoying comic villain, you got the girl as an eye candy with no character development whatsoever, Josh Duhamel just because in certain countries he is considered hot... the perfect cliche of all cliches... but then again, who gonna noticed that with all the deafening robot fights, eyh?
5. "Go and hide Sam from the CIAs and FBIs and the government." says the captain whatsisname... yeah, and then a yellow Camarro and two shiny red and green car go and hide him. Wow, colourful cars, the perfect blend in... pfft.
6. Don't you think John Torturro and Shia La Beouf look like father and son?
7. It's like watching Spielberg's movies all rolled into one. There's the building he used for "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" (if Sam went passed the matrix, he gonna find the chalice... and Harrison Ford). There's hiding from bad aliens while holding your mouth from screaming a la "War of the World". There's trying-to-help-Jordanian-soldier... what are you, "Saving Private Ryan"?  
8. Am I the only girl who thinks Optimus Prime looks like Christian Bale? (I must have watched too many "TDK" for my own good).
9. Bad continuity. Since you guys might be too engrossed with the movie, I think you might have not realised that after all that explosions, all the lead characters do not sustain injuries (except Witwicky) and Megan Fox end up on a USS ship with pretty hair and long eyelashes. No bruises at all. Angelina Jolie, my ass.
10.I can't pretend, the Devastator is cool.
11.After all said and done, I still like it. I mean, I like fast movements. It's like watching Sam Raimi, you know. His cinematography is like the best ever. Shoot this thing, it moves, move the camera, zoom at Ash. Bam! Evil Dead rules! I didn't go for the robots or the characters, nor the actions. I like the pace of movements.
12. What's with the "TDK" background score?
13. "The Fallen"? I feel like watching "Charlie Angels 2"
14. What's with the revive Sam, Sam goes to Limbo world and see dead Primes who gave revelations ala Dumbledore?

After the movie, I waited for my bros to do their deed and was eavesdropiing to a couple next to me talking. The girlfriend was extremely giddy and the conversation goes like this
Giddy girlfriend: Bestla cerita tu. Nanti Harry Potter kite pegi tengok eh? Harry Potter dah nak dekat, kan?
Sleepy boyfriend: Okay. Tapi tadi banyak jugak yang kelakar
Giddy Girlfriend: Ha'ah, lagi-lagi robot yang dua tu, yang macam monyet tu, ape ye nama die? Dia jahat ke?
Sleepy Boyfriend: Tak. Dia macam yg tua bertongkat tu la. Die mule-mule jahat, lepas tu jadi baik. Mule-mule die jadi... apa nama orang jahat tuh?
Giddy Girlfriend: Megabots?
Sleepy Boyfriend: Tak, nama kumpulan jahat tuh... ala ape die...

Wow. I feel like slapping them both. Dude, you're a dude. You're supposed to know at least the word "DECEPTICON" before going to watch that movie. I should just cut his scrotum and feed his girlfriend with it. Uuuu, sadomasochism... since when did I developed that?

26 is not a very good age for me.

aND WHUTTAHELL IS A "MEGABOTS"?????
I gotta go. I have a Terengganu to go to.

My knee cap is swollen.

Entry ini digelar "Menjejak Puasa" kerana kebanyakan kaum wanita yang hidup dalam trance seperti saya ini selalu lupa. I have forgotten how many puasa I didn't do (due to period la, kau hengat aku manusia ape, takkan puasa yang senang pon tak boleh nak buat....) and I have forgotten how many puasa yang aku dah ganti throughout this year.

The objective of thie Tracking the Fasts is to teach women to go step by step on how to remember things. But maybe it's just me, because I have my dumb blonde moments.

Berapakah puasa yang aku tinggalkan tahun lepas.
I remembered Maria offering me chocolate when I told her I can't puasa. She had been eating it during lunch for two days straight because dia pun tengah period. She said, "Yay, akhirnya ade kawan nak makan sekali!" So that means it was my first day tak puasa, she offered me on Wednesday. That is also because aku pergi ke meja Zwees dan kata, "Tak aci, makan sendiri..." and took a handful of Ferrero Rochers that was given by.... interns? That must be... Shirley?
Swee said, "Oh, hey..."
Zee said, "Oh, tak (something something)" which sounds funny because usually people use the term "Tak boleh"
Wahi said, "Selambeee je die ni."
If I got a lot of time to be jalan-jalan to people's place, it must be Wednesday... my most busiest day in a week. I usually do that to alleviate the stress.

On my last day of period, I had a "Mamma Mia" press preview. I remembered Zee asking, "Where do you want to eat?" and I was thinking to myself "I am not eating outside although I can't puasa. It's not proper." and said that I'm full. I remembered telling Maria later that this is the last day for me to makan coklat secara haram...
It must be Wednesday (because I just checked my review for the movie on CO's website just now).

8 days of non-puasa. So now let's move on to how many puasa yang dah berganti.

I can't remember if I did Puasa Enam. But I must have because, I remembered Zim offering me cempedak goreng and I said "Puasa." I just can't remember if that puasa enam cukup enam ke tidak. So tolak satu puasa dah berganti. Tinggal tujuh.

BUT. Outside puasa enam...
I did puasa for Gaza war to be over. - Tolak satu. I remembered because Mun pun puasa jugak and then we went to see Nad and bukak puasa.
Tinggal  enam.

Let's say puasa enam aku cukup, I would have just one more day of puasa. If not, I have another six.

There was one time aku puasa, aku sahur roti dengan telur. But I can't remember if it's the same puasa for the Gaza thing. So, it's either puasa tinggal lima, atau puasa tinggal kosong in which means aku dah habis ganti puasa aku.

Who the hell in this world can't remember if she has done her puasa enam or not... I should ask Kak Mai or Kak Ani and see if they know, if they remember, any conversation about that.

It's already Rejab. Tak lama lagi Shaaban, and then Ramadhan. Haruslah menyelesaikan kebodohan ini sebelum waktunya.

Pengajarannya adik-adik, kalau puasa sila ingat. Jangan ingat benda berpandukan conversations dan incidents.

***

Ingat Yuk Mun Lau Hong Kong Dimsum? Mun kata restoran tu sekarang dah bertukar jadi kedai tayar.
Soalan aku ialah: Kenapa semua restoran bertukar menjadi kedai tayar?

***

Ardy dah berhenti kerja.
Whyyyyyyyyy?

Kenapa kau tinggalkan aku, Ardy? Siapa nak main teka perkataan Indonesia dengan aku lagi? Siapa nak jadi tukang gelak bila aku kutuk Cinta Laura Kiehl? Siapa nak tolong terjemahkan dialog bahasa Sunda yang aku tak paham? Siapa nak ucap "Take care" bila aku kata "Permisi pak" bila aku nak balik? Siapa nak bawak balik coklat dari Bandung?

Berani kau tinggalkan aku, budak! Gue nggak akan pernah maafin lhoooo!!!!

Aku stress. Hahaha. (masukkan ikon smiley peluk lutut sambil duduk tepi sudut dengan langit mendung di sini)

***

Nak pergi Terengganu on weekends.

Happy Father's Day, Ayah Part 2 HERE

First of, Ashraf Sinclair humours me. I mean, as long as I have watched the guy on TV, he has a very bad Bahasa Melayu. Always choose to speak in English instead. BUt as soon as he marries Bunga Citra Lestari, suddenly he can't speak BM nor English no more and start sounding like an Indonesian. Wow, you don't even want to speak malay when you are half a Malay and now you speak Indonesian just because you married an Indonesian? Talk about hypocrisy.

And just to show I am not a hypocrite, Bahasa Melayu saya sangat baik, terima kasih. Sekurang-kurangnya saya tahu "tengah hari" dieja begini, dan bukan "tengahari". Ramai yang masih tidak sedar bahawa "tengahari" merupakan ejaan yang salah. Not being cocky, just trying to prove a point before I go and kutuk Ashraf Sinclair.   

Nicholas Sarkozy in his speech at the French Parliament in Versailles said that women in burkha will not be allowed into the country, that burkha is a form of restriction to identity and they imprisoned women. You can't reason with morons like Sarkozy with religion. You need to go as low as himself, and knock his head and put some sense into it. Like the fact that "identity constraints" are the stupidest term I have ever heard. Burkha IS an identity. It's an identity of being a Muslim. It goes to show that those women put Islam above everything else, as the pillar to all other things. Centering the identity on being a Muslim woman.

But still, in western term, identity is not about what you wear. Burkha does not constraint a woman. Half of the most confident women that I know of are women in purdah. They are confident enough to live their life without the need to glow in jewelleries and cosmetics. They do not need to heighten their confidence by looking pretty. They know who they are, and they don't need to explain themselves through styles and physical substance. Unlike us poor weaklings, we have to go and be all "boho", or "chic", or showing cleavages and more skin so that guys would drool at the sight of us and all that. Women in burkha know that a good woman deserves a good man, therefore, to serve a good man is to serve him alone. Cherish in beauty and sultriness (is there a word?) for his eyes only. That's not all, a woman in burkha knows the highest purpose of her being is to nurture the youngs to be better people in future, and know for a fact that if she knows her purpose on earth, she would never lose her way. And women in burkha know their purpose in life, more than anybody else in this world.  

Those are the most confident of women with identity.

Not at all like Sarkozy's bullshit. Which in truth, HE is actually the 'burkha' of the world - men with shallow thoughts who restrain people's belief from entering his territory, who understand "identity" with a blunt and most premature understanding, as premature as his last ejaculation while enjoying the sights of half naked French women, I presume.  

All over the world, feminists and morons try to modernise Muslim women, by saying that burkha imprison them from modernisme, from intellectual thoughts, from analytical and creative achievements. Is that true?
1. Saidatina Khadijah, world's greatest business women is a Muslim women that covers their aurah.
2. Jane Austen, one of the Regency "feministic" writer is a woman who wears proper clothes.
3. Mother Theresa, need I say more? Do you ever seen her in hot pants and low cut shirt?
4. Merve Kavakci, Egyptian politician, stirred the male-majority of the parliament, by wearing a headscarf.
5. If you can show me a picture of Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth in tights doing a strip dance, I will tarik balik everything I said.

The only woman in history who did something great by being nude on a horse was Lady Godiva, and her only achievements in today's world is to have a chocolate named after her.

Show me a burka wearing woman who are being treated like crap and I will show you lots of non-burka wearing women with a lot of crap.
 

Wow... for the first time ever, I practically force myself to update my blog.

Because I need the hit for nuffnang... pfft.

So, today... I SMSed my boss that I am not feeling very well, and went to Putrajaya with Mun for our little big project. She SMSed back with an "Ok" and a "Take care". See, this is why you never tipu-sunat a female boss. I mean, why the hell do I even need to explain myself? I am not owned by them. And the thing with a female boss, they really do mean it when they say "Take care"... so of course, I feel like an ass.

So off we go to Putrajaya, pick Nad up and go straight to our big mission. The thing is, THIS is THE project. I mean, this is not the cakap-cakap kosong all dreams no substance kind of thing. We have been dreaming of doing this since like.... err... the first day we realised that we can't work 9-5 because we're all stubborn asses that need to be our own boss. And this is the very first project of our millions of ideas (because some of us are dreamers *cough*moi*cough* and some of us are the ones that kick all dreamers from the ultimate dream to actually do something about it).

So, after our meeting, we found out we need LOADS of money (of course), and so we went to MECD to ask about loans and stuff (okay, so the asking is more on Mun's side, because she HAS a company). But as MECD is already dismantled from its beautiful establishment, we had a friggin hard time. I mean, yes, another ministry is gone. We spent more hours naik turun one floor to another while each and every one of them went, "Were sorry, we're moving and I am secretly loathing the new PM right now but I am not showing it..."

Tengah-tengah pening dengan susunan jabatan yang mengarut itu, my phone rang and a strange number came oout on the screen.
It's Kak Mai.
"Syahida, Kak Mai la. Soft Launch dalam BM ape?"
Huh, Kak Mai ni takde tanye kabar tanya ape, trus bisnes... but I didn't have the answer to the question. Yeah, what is "Soft Launch" in BM?

Then Tim called and told us that she had a sucky day and asked us about the project. Makcik itu was totally excited and wanted to make a loan and everything to get out from her state of depression waaaaay in Sabah.

Went to Alamanda, bought two boxes of dark chocolates and Nad looked at me with a weirded face when I said that dark chocolates are very sexual. Well, it's true. I mean, hey, I'm a writer. That's the best way to describe it. "Delicious" and "savoury" are not enough. Went to Black Canyon and had an ice blended chocolate - the best evrrr... I mean, still tak boleh lawan stall kuning pasar stadium Ahad Shah Alam, but still.... deliciosa.

Then singgah rumah Nad, and while she is in her room praying, I took the chance to sing a lullaby to Adam and pretend that the two months old baby is talking to me and I am agreeing to any sound he makes. Well, in my understanding of that gugu-gaga-ness of his non-verbal interaction, Adam is saying that when he was sleeping, he dreamt that there are two teddy bears chasing him and then he went to a park where ummi and abi were sitting on a bench and the beautiful Auntie Shai (that's me) was singing a lullaby to hundreds of chrysanthemums.... or maybe I was imagining Adam talking.

Hey, it's my understanding of Adam's words, I can be beautiful in it. If you're not satisfied, make your own definition.

On our way home, Mun told me about the claustrophobia of being your own boss. Yes, I understand. Yes, sometimes I too am threatened when other people go from one level to the other, with a higher salary, and a better living while I am here, working my ass off, sometimes to the wee morning just to get enough money to be broke again the next day. I'm like that 1900s modernisme painting of a guy in a bar, with a pencil tuck behind his ear, sans the alcohol and smoke - wishing that ten years from now, I will be able to eat the fruit of my hardship from a hammock in front of a chalet I own, in pario and original GUCCI shades, sipping on an ice blended juice served by Matthew Macfadyen....... okay the last part is a bit too much.    

But right now, I am satisfied with cursing the new PM for dismantling MECD.

I finally got to watch "Frost/Nixon". Wasn't as great as I expected. A tad too serious and journalistic at times... although I prefer how there is no justification in the end... but at least it's off my list, together with "Coraline", the movie that I have requested to do... but then, I think it's bound to be forgotten by ed team, so better save time and just watch whatever comes my way. Creepy movie by the way. Draggy, but creepy still.  

***Yes, our Wahidu-my-ass (paling kiri) is a filmstar now... (I shouldn't be calling him Wahidu My Ass anymore, should I? Pfft, who cares?!)

***I was talking to my sister when suddenly mum got up and was scolding. It turns out she was scolding her own body for playing tricks on her and that she's annoyed that the urge is gone when she got up.

"Wow mum, you really put the word 'berleter' to a higher level." says I.
"What?" mum looked at us.
"Yes, like it's not enough that you scold us, now you went far as to scold your ownself." says Kaklong.

***I guess people still don't know this, but as of 18 June 2009 list, the world's number one player in 'Men Singles' for Badminton is Datuk Lee Chong Wei. Lin Dan jatuh nombor 3, and Taufik HIdayat at number 5. I was doing some research for things I was translating and found it here.

***Hey I have something I have to let out from my chest. Ubat Batuk Cap Kelapa Laut should just change their packaging. I mean, they have the sketch image of kelapa laut on the label. The problem is kelapa laut is not such a pretty sight itself. From afar, it doesn't look like a type of coconut. More like a hairy butt. Like a monkey ass.
"But that's how kelapa laut looks like." mum tries to justify.
"Yes. The more the reason to NOT put its picture on the label."  

***Kaklong just got a wedding invitation that her high school friend, (who is also my senior at school, since we went to the same boarding school) Fadzil Nor. Fadzil Nor dah nak kahwin dah. I must tell Deqnor, she must be frustrated. HAhahahahahaha...

***I was watching "Keeping it up with the Kardashians" and in this episode, Khloe has to do a nude photography for PETA (I now am confused if PETA is FOR animals, or FOR nudity... I never seen an ad of celebs in any clothes at all...) and there she was, ready to take off her robe and then feels like she is fat and she doesn't want to do it and then KIm was , "Come on!"... yes, nothing says sisterhood like asking your sister to go nude in front of people.
Which makes me think... wow, what a human tragedy this is...
And the funniest thing of all is... WHY THE HELL AM I WATCHING THIS STUPID SHOW AGAIN?

***Wow. Watching PENTAS ANAK WAYANG is like watching bad pantomime during high school. Heck, even Ema acting as Bapak si Pekan during our form five "Batu Belah Millenium" pantomime was even better. Everybody wants to be funny, it's so cliche. I am scared for the Malaysian film industry.
As I was watching Liana Shamsuddin act out with the contestants I realised it's true, when you're acting with bad actors, you became bad too.
Fifteen minutes later I was like, heck, I should just watch the Kardashians again.

****Have I told you guys I hate Bobby Chin? Yeah THE Bobby Chin - world famous chef or food expert or something. Yeah. THAT Bobby Chin. Why? Because he came to Malaysia and think rendang and apam balik sucks. I mean he ate a lot of junk elsewhere, and then come here to our night markets and go, "What? A some sort of pancake with sugary corns and peanuts in it? It's weird..." You wanna know what's weird? It's that thing he made in one show a few months later. A 'tasty dessert' he called, which consist of a grape, being coated in cheese, which then coated in peanuts. Imagine soury sweet taste of cheesy nuts?

***Hey, let me ask you. Why do people think putting a 'Z' inside a word will make it sound cool? Like this one advertisement board I read in front of Shah Alam Mall. "SchoolZout!" it says in big shiny letters ala Hannah Montana. Then there's "Gangstarz". Yes, it would be cool, if you're in 1997. Aye, dump the letter. It's corny.     

You know what? Being angry at someone is such a hassle. Let's just pretend things never happened. I need my MSN for work anyway. I need to reinstall it.

Tomorrow or the next  day or whenever I feel like it.

I need my dose of gossips from Maria anyway. To stay sane.

Phibun returns after been missing for a couple of days. As soon as I saw him that morning before I went to the bathroom, he was staring at my sleepy face going "Miow", more like, "Hi, mam." and at 9.30 in the morning the whole Jalan Gobek can hear me go, "So you DO know your way home? I thought you're already dead, I nearly made an entry for you in my blog. Where did you go? On a journey to seek a girlfriend waaaay down in Jalan Semerit?"
"Don't be mad at him. He just return." mum screamed from downstairs.
He just looked at me and went, "Hatchum!"

Great. After two days you're back with a flu.

Ungrateful cat. Every time he returns to me, it must be because he was badly injured, or with a flu. So since my cat is having a nose block, it annoyed me to a point where I put a little Tiger Balm on top of his nose. Have you ever seen a
cat in tears? I have. Hahahahaha (don't do this at home. Tiger balms are not for cats, although they are named after a feline creature).   

My boss was telling me about grammars and talk about imaginative structures and suffixes, and told me that I must have made a careless mistake because she doesn't believe that I don't know those things. I looked at her, nodding at each and every sentence and think if this is the right time to tell her that I am a follower of the 'If-it-sounds-nice-it-must-be-right' school of thought. I am really bad in grammar. I learn english by ears. And sometimes ears make mistake.

I really need to polish on that before she thinks I'm useless.

Since I did a full week this week (instead of the usual suke2 hati datang hari ape), by Friday my baju kurung dah habis satu pusingan. So I put on my jeans and my Cinnaker shirt (gabungan Cinnamon & Joker, which also sounds like a cussing word), and went to the office. Kak M was like,
"Orang pakai baju kurung hari Jumaat, pakai baju lain hari biasa, awak terbalik pulak."
"Saya dah habis pusingan baju kurung."
"Ini kena masuk kursus etika ni."

Before coming to the office, dad said (with the softest voice I have ever heard) that he's going back to kampung and may need RM30 from me. I ended up giving him RM50. I think I am being psychologically conned by my dad. I mean, he always do this thing where he just want a little, and that I should not give him any money each month because I do not have a stable income. The more he said that, the more I want to show him that I can give any ammount I want and ends up giving him a lot.  

So I'm always broke because my dad doesn't want me to be broke.

So, after I gave him RM50, he started being all nice and ask me stuff, like why the hell I am home late today, and by 'I got a lot to do', does it mean 'translations or subtitling'? I was like, dad, I know I gave you RM20 more than you ask, but that is not a payment so you would turn into a good father or something. Let's do the usual where you cuss the car in front and I agree.

And since when did exiting the office at 6pm is considered "Home late"? 7 months ago, I sometimes come home at 11pm and there was no question whatsoever about my well-being.

I am starting to show my dark side at the office and Nana was like, "Oh, sekarang dah pandai ye...."
Yes, I am not nice. I am not diplomatic. I barf, I sing tunelessly, and I am a loyar buruk. I need three months to show that. Give me another three months and I will show you perverseness of mind, sarcasm, the tendency to argue senselessly through an instant messenger, and my  knack for cursing.

Which reminds me, once I had a bag migraine, so my mum told me she has this technique of lessening the pain. The technique is to grab a tiny portion of my hair, rub it to my head and SENTAP!
It was extremely painful to the scalp, I accidentally go, "BAAAABIIIIIII" (bearing in mind I never cuss in front of my mum). She was so shocked that instead of scolding me, she laughed hysterically.

So anyway, however, as usual, I have a reason why I am a bit late at warming up to people. That is because it is my weakness, and that of course because I tend to make jokes that strangers don't get. Like, today, in the office when I submit my files to my boss. Five minutes before, she approached me and go, "Look, if you can't finish it by today you can continue on Monday." (because usually I will be home at 3pm, but it's already 6 and I'm still typing away). So as I submit my stuff to her, I jokingly went, "Saya nak baliklah, akak dah halau saya."

And she was like, "Noooo, it's just I thought you couldn't finish it because of that thing yesterday and it's already 6pm so I..." and I feel bad for making her feel bad.

I was just trying to be funny.

Okay, weird funny must come after the sixth month.

Ajik got a place in a university in Terengganu (apekah nama U tu haku pon tatau). This is a sign! I must open a homestay in Terengganu! (Shai and her so-called 'signs')      

Tuhan saja bagi aku migraine empat hari.
Saja buat aku demam.
Demi membuktikan sesuatu. Biar si buta ni celik sikit.

Lepas demam dan migraine tiga hari, dan satu insiden yang start from a topic about a newspaper, baru aku nampak.
Terang dan jelas. Tak perlu bersuluh-suluh.
Di mana kedudukan aku yang sebenar.
   
So, in the course of four horrible days of constant headache which my mum screamed "Pergi check!" (yes, I still haven't done so. I'm busy), I kind of have a Michael Scofield (or maybe Bree Van De Kamp's) moment where I realised that laptop aku semak. So, I delete this, I delete that, few files, few songs, uninstall this, clean up that, and realised that my MSN is gone.

Sigh... ah well... I take that as a sign.

I tried to put up an entry, a newspaper cutting of Wahi's 'new' job. But I'm too busy to even be doing that.

And by busy I mean lazy.

Hey, I just recovered from 4 days of headache and one annoying fever. I can have any excuses that I want.