(Am updating blog in CyberCafe. Have a Madras feel to it, being serenade by Tamil songs... saeriously Cyber Cafe dude, change the keyboards. They look like keyboards from a Friday 13th movie)

This is me and my family's favourite past time. Watching a bad movie and make fun of it. These are the three of our most favourite movie of all time.

1. Mendam Berahi
Malaysia's worst Charlie Angels wannabe. bad acting, bad effect, bad soundtrack. Out of three of the angels, only Rita Rudaini survived the curse and became a better actress

2. Cinta Fotokopi.
The outcome of a ridiculous idea of reuniting Khai and Zarina. Extremely bad acting from Zarina who tries to seduce guys in the ways of a transvestite. Horrendous wigs.

3. Rahsia Hatiku
The second malay movie ever in colour. Due to being 'jakun warna', every single thing in the movie was colourful, except for the actors. Horrifying acting by the cast, led by Sharifah Hanim.Check out the scene of the dying girl. Hillarious! 

I was watching the show 'Busana' on TV9.
Of course I have issues about it!
In this week show, they 'teach' you how to choose a handbag. I was like, what? Seriously? There was the "Untuk tubuh yang langsing, sesuai untuk memakai beg tangan yang lebih lebar." and then "Anda juga boleh memilih beg tangan sesuai dengan warna pakaian anda." And then they showed a girl who hang her big handbag bawah ketiak and say "This is the wrong way to wear it" and show the right way, which is to hold tangkai beg itu dengan ringannya menggunakan jari.

I was like, kepala hotak kau la... last time I watch Malaysia hari Ini, the cute sergeant cop guy tried to show women how to hold handbag safely.... by kepit bawah ketiak, and to hold it opposite the  road. Now a fashion program told you that's the wrong way to wear it. Yeah, right. I'd rather listen to the cop rather listen to a fashion program. Fashionista or no fashionista, if a peragut nak ragut beg ko, pegang dengan jari melentik tu macam calon paling best je untuk jadi mangsa ragut.

And then they were like, "Memakai beg ini (big coach bag) amat sesuai bagi mereka yang berpinggul besar, kerana ia boleh menutup kekurangan."

Kekurangan? Wow... I mean, this is the issue with women magazine or women program. Today they tell you "You have to cherish your body shape and not be embarrased about it." tomorrow they gonna advertise bags and tell you "This bag can cover your huge embarrasing ass." Stop making confusing statement. This is my advice. Easy. Women, wear what you want, as long as you don't look like sluts, eat what you want, as long as it's halal and not hazardous to your health. Cherish your man, as long as you keep your dignity in check. Always balance. Not too little but not too excessive. See? THAT easy.

Lemme tell you how I choose a bag. Aku naik bas. Kadang-kadang bas lambat. Kadang-kadang it would be too crowded and you won't be able to sit. So my bag should be big enough to hold a novel, telekung and a notebook among other essential stuff. It should have at least two hidden pockets for pens and small stuff, dua poket sisi so I can just slid my bus tix in there, one zipped pocket duit kecik, and one buttoned front pocket for easy-reach to my business cards. It must have tali yang extendable, so I can gantung on my shoulder when I wear baju kurung, or I can selempang across my body when I am wearing casual. Voila, the most perfect bag. Will it hid my huge ass? Who cares. Pakai jela baju yang labuh, then tercoverla punggung itu. Apa nak piker susah2. 

Aye... 

Pengakuan bapak aku yang mak aku gelak bagai nak mampos.
"Aku, kalau pelakon melayu ni aku suka tengok Eman Manan, Shukery Hashim... tapi aku paling menyampah tengok Jalaludin Hassan. Kalau perempuan lagi la aku tak minat. Tapi kalau Ogy tu walau orang kata over acting aku rasa okay lagi. Rita Rudaini ke, Jasmin Hamid ke..."
My dad likes Rita Rudaini?
Ahahahahahahahaha... that IS hillarious.  

Oh yeah, I have a message for one newspaper. STOP STEALING MY REVIEW, DAMNIT! You think you wrote it in Malay I would not realise that IT IS STILL MY FILM REVIEW! "Buku yang dipenuhi pelbagai episod", "versi pendek filem berkenaan (Gone with the Wind)" and "...nilai tinggi jika dibingkaikan..." I'm cocky about my writing. STOP COPYING IT!

Oh yeah, by the way, my internet connection is at its worst nowadays. Anything, please call my celly instead, cuz it would be no YM no MSN for at least until I can sort this dumb streamyx issue (which I presumme would be tomorrow... mamat2 keje teknikal streamyx dah naik kenal dah dengan aku. There's Khairul the low toned guy, and there's Amri the patient dude.... sigh.... macam-macam ada...)