Soul Soldier Shai

Tunggu Sekejap

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 16:35:24 GMT

Nanny McPhee or Mary Poppins?

Weird, as many women would not see this as a ground to which they should see themselves. But I do. I used to believe that I am Nanny McPhee - who comes in your life when you don't want me but need me, but will go whenever you want me but the need is not necessary. People think this children's book character is just a character. I see the beauty of it.

It's hard sometimes, and lonely most of it, when you are a person who looks too far away into something. Unlike visionaries, who makes the best of imagination, in your world it's different. You see bravery in cowardness when you look at a black and white pictures. You see substance in a Harry Potter film that the whole world hates. You see life in Van Gogh's painting when artsy people say that's not what it means. You define it deviantly and hopes that one day someone would see that definition too. It doesn't make you unique, no. It just makes you lonely.

As so, I see the beauty behind a character that may have been created senselessly. Who knows. It's a wonderful notion, to be needed without being wanted. I like being that.

But I guess I was wrong. I am not a Nanny McPhee. I am more of Mary Poppins, who came knocking at the door with a black umbrella, putting thoughts and imagination into people's head, be the person in that life, nurturing, loving. And then when she sees the kids jogging along with their father singing "Let's go fly a kite..." without even looking back and wave at her, she smiles with that sad face and flew away. It stops there.

And you will never know if the children remember her at all. Because a movie ends at happily ever after. Who should ever think about what Mary will do next. What Mary thinks. What Mary feels. Because it's not about her.

My life was never about me - it's about promises, loyalty and sacrifice that is so small the world think it's trivial. And I have been unfair to it. To me.

I have been selfish. I believe that keeping a promise, or being loyal, or make that small sacrifice will give me the satisfaction that I wanted. But it is nothing, just a gesture to make me feel important. To make me feel good about myself. I refuse to let go of so many things and let them rot in my heart, that way I can make more excuses why I am the way I am.

What I should do and what should've done is to pray for everybody's happiness and wish that they pray for mine too.

I'll be back. Let me readjust my thoughts. (yet again).
Eh no, I'm not depressed.

I'll be back. Wait for me.

Of love and lust

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 17:00:01 GMT

Hey, do you know that the Christian doctrine - the 7 sins was actually 8? Yeah, Dante made it for the priests and listed 8 sins. Then later on Pope Gregory turned it into 7 by eliminating "Sadness". He also made it a rule for priests not to marry. BUT the actual reason is because at that time, church has ruled the state, and he didn't want the church to face the same situation with the state where they were ruled by sons and grandsons - which is how the royalties were doomed in the first place. So, in order that the church is free from nepotisme, he made it a rule for priests not to marry.

But then somehow it became a doctrine and somehow turned church into some sort of extreme anti-hedonistic institution.

Yeah... that's the consequences of watching too much HISTORY channel for moi.

But anyway, while watching that, I was attracted to the subject of lust... yea, that sounds kinda weird, but no. Keep on reading.

They were talking about the sin of lust, and about Amodeus; one of the 7 princes of sins/darkness/evil/devil/whatever it is... that is the "rep" for the sin of Lust (you know, like 'Belzebub' is to 'Gluttony' or 'Leviathan' is to 'Pride'... or maybe I have mixed them up since I'm such an "expert" on Christian doctrine and everything =_=). Then they started to talk about how lust is one of the oldest feeling of the world, that human being are born with it. They started to talk about how lust creates the need of being together, and relationship and stuff.

It was then discussed in a scientific way, that love is a testosterone. That when one loves, it let out dopamine into your brain and create the whole lust thing. And that is why human beings need each other - to end this endless hunger for lust.....

Oh the bullshits of pure science! You see, love and lust are two different things. You can't explain love in a scientific way because love in itself is philosophical rather than a complete pure lab science. It is like the wind. You can feel it, but you can't capture it inside a bottle.

You may feel for someone and understand that you do not own them. THAT'S love. You marry someone and you refrain your lust for someone else. THAT'S love. You care for someone without worrying if they care about you. THAT'S love. You give your support to someone even when you yourself are in the worst of times. THAT'S love. You see beauty in ugliness. THAT'S love. There is no lust involved, short-brained!

It's the same thing with otak and akal. Yes, a human being has a brain, and so do animals. But animals don't have akal. THAT'S what differenciates men and beasts. Love and lust is what differenciate them too.

Wow, I am discussing about love without hiding behind the word "I am a novelist". That's new.

The legendary jackass himself (Hugh Heffner I mean, otherwise known as 'the wood that will be used for burning in hellfire' as Aying would call him, even if deep down inside his vulgar nature would make him visit his website too... hey, this is my laptop, I know the ongoings of what is being downloaded behind my back or not...) would know that fact. It's just whether he was too confused to see love among the 'girl-next-doorly' lusts, or he just would not admit it, or it is one of the overly dramatic 'secrets of my life' thingies.

As Sahih Bukhari stated:
"Tidak sempurna iman seseorang itu sehingga dia mengasihi orang lain seperti mana dia mengasihi dirinya sendiri."
(and if you don't love yourself enough, you would know where your problem with relationship lies. That is where I learn about my issues from - A Prophetic tradition that was written on a billboard on my way to work.)

Yes, I am leaving this blog with a note about the seven deadly sins, and of love.

I told you, I AM romantic.

The Shit

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 07:38:55 GMT

Hectic week.

Have you been typing so much that your fingers started to type the wrong key and you end up with: "ti be ab;e to mansge the p[erson;s involunetray work"

I almost want to stop blogging. But this thing keeps me sane.

There's a lot in my mind at the moment. The subtitling work kept puring in and almost all of them are autobiographies. I hate them. Autobiographies are shows where you have five diffferent people talking non-stop every single minute and using terms that does not exist in the english speaking world, apatah lagi bahasa melayu. It makes you annoyed that sometimes people just talk with no point at all. Like,

For instance;
Jenna Williams
Steve Martin's childhood friend
"Oh, Steve is a very uh... I mean... you just knew that he is going to be a movie star... I mean, you know... uh... he is... the fact that he was so mature and not just kid-like kid, you know... he's almost a kid with a dream to be a man... man about town... I mean, Steve is the real Martin..."

You know, stupid shit like that. What the hell is that? How am I supposed to translate a crappy commentary like that? And when you were given 5 of those... you're bound to snap. Then you return home, and open your email and there it is, more translation work. You have a novel that is collecting dust in your documents, a laptop that has some invisible virus that cannot be found by the antivirus, you can't open lots of programs because your quicktime has expired, your mum asked you to talk to your dad butyou just don't have the time nor the patience to discuss stuff with him with all these hassle and you still have this CIC thing - your dream that you and your friends are trying to realise. This is not me whining. This is just me trying to 'luahkan' my feelings about work.

I have taken a lot of work so that I could get my mind off things that I don't want to think about. And yet, those 'things' are still lingering inside my head. People who said that working can take your mind off things dunno shit about the workings of one's mind. NOT my mind, especially. I have a part in my brain that NEVER forgets. Then you try to find other places to destress, like facebooking, for example... but then you have annoying non-sensitive people who thinks they're funny by making rude comments.

If you cannot be a part of the healing process, stop bugging me.

And you realise even facebook is a part of that stress. And that you had make a wrong step, something that you shouldn't have done and now you have to start the whole thing again.

Ugh, it's easier bila boleh solat. It's when you can't, things stresses you to a point of T. It's 7 torturous days in every women's life.

You know what? I don't like 2009. I want to bang my head on something, lost my memories... oh, I want to lose memories that starts from November 2007. That was when all of this shit starts. Or maybe November 2008.

I want my problems to end on November 2009! All this shit, all this crap, all this stupidity.

ALL OF IT!

Daddy's Little Girl?

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 17:08:17 GMT

My father thinks that I am still a little girl.

For he will go to the taxi stand and asks me to go get the cabbies' numbers when he can't pick me up from work.

For he will wait in his car until the bus came and saw me getting on it before he leaves.

For he will wait for that Causeway Express to arrive and bid me farewell on my way to Johor Bahru.

For he will check every single maps and directories for places that I never been to even when I asked him not to.

For he will make me call him every time I arrive in places that is farther than the range of KLCC.

For he will not eat his favourite food if by any chance I showed any interest on it.

For he will not let me give him any money for he thinks that I cannot afford to give him any.

For he will not let me get married because he thinks I am still young.

My father thinks that I am still a little girl.

If everybody else thinks like that too, my life will be perfect. Haha.

The MOSSAD Women

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 17:00:26 GMT

Now, where do I start?

Well, it's always start with a note. Like, MN (bukan nama penuh yang sebenar) today showed me something. I was having a brain cramp after two days of non-stop malay to english work and at 4pm I still got 30minutes of movie duration to go, and she forced me to look at something and listen to her.

"This girl," she said while showing me to a status update on someone else's FB.
"Was this guy's fiance." and showed me a guy's status update on FB.
"Ooookay..." Shai was thinking is this another boring story about people that I do not know about... like, who they're gonna marry and if they were dyslexic when they were just a child... something that I don't really mind only when I AM NOT BUSY.

So, as the story goes... MN was commenting on this guy's FB. He was on his way home, and so she wrote something like, "Be careful" and "Take care" and bladiblablabla. The ex-fiance commented under her box, "Menyampah" and then update her own status saying something like, "Menyampahnya dengan ayat GEDIK orang tuuu..." and so MN told me and said that she knew that the girl is on to her.

Wow, there are so many ways to have a catfight nowadays... Skype, Facebook, Twitter, Friendster, Hi-5.... it used to be the whispery "She's a bitch" and spreading the words around... very quiet and peaceful.

Yes, and the FB war begins. I am the victim of non-involvement, to be the one who had to listen about how this girl doesn't have anything to do with him anymore, I'm just being nice, ladida and all that.

You see... let me tell you something about women. Some of them are like cats. They are very protective of their territory. IF the man is her boyfriend, you shouldn't be too nice to him. IF the guy is her fiance, you shouldn't be too nice to him. If he's her husband, learn to back off. And even if the guy is no longer her fiance, she must have some kind of grudge and thus she will hate any women who might come near him.

I always make peace with such women. I call them the MOSSAD-Women. They are the most dangerous type of human being on earth. That is why I practise this one exercise. I call it, maintain your boundaries. You don't touch someone else's boyfriend/fiance/husband. You don't be too nice to them, you don't be adorable-funny with them, you don't be all 'take care' and 'drive hati-hati tau' and 'ala.. sshiannye dieeee...' with them and if you think that you're a hottie (even if the whole world doesn't agree), don't you EVER be near them, or you are going to face the wrath of a shrew. Then your life will be in hell.

It's an unspoken Girl Rule. You might think it's unfair because you don't exercise that with your friends pertaining to your own boyfriend, but the rule is still a rule. Take it, embrace it, and if you want to live in a peaceful co-existence, don't question it.

I had a chat with Masni too in regards to the ups and downs of being women who are stuck in the tumultous cycle of endless suffering (sounds pretty serious.. hahaha). And we came to a point of making a new philosophy out of it. It's called, "CINTA UMPAMA BULU ROMA"
(Well, the actual thing is not bulu roma, if you catch my drift... but you know, you can talk about berak, kencing, taik, fuck, sex, breast, ass, etc etc etc... but there is one area you don't mention in your blog. I have use every other word inside the blog for the past five years except for that one, so let us change it a bit).

The saying goes,
"Cinta umpama bulu roma. It grows on you. You can shave it off, but it will grow even worse the next day. So you pluck it, but it hurts like hell. And even after all that pain, it will one day grow again."
And Masni added,
"You can use VEET, but it stinks."

Zombie Kampung Mertang

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 17:11:38 GMT

Everybody's in a rush nowadays.

At 6pm on Friday, Kak Eton called me and asked me for a favour. It seems that a translator she hires has botched a short story she sent to her for an international journal. Without further elaborating, she asked me to redo the thing. Without thinking I said yes. I mean, it's not like I never have translate anything before.

She asked for it to be sent on Monday. Later that night the email came and as I opened the document I realised that it was a literature piece by Faisal Tehrani.

Oh crap. I am at home, without a dictionary, and having this one sastera melayu to be turned into sastera inggeris. I have been in insomnia for two days straight now.

Then my boss called and asked me if I will be in office on Monday. It's kinda weird because I ALWAYS go to the office on MOnday. But since my other boss is in the hospital, and the other one is taking care of her, the subtitling work has turned hectic. We're shorthanded and she wanted to make sure I am not at home sleeping on Monday.

"I need you to translate Selubung."

As much as I love the movie, isn't it weird that for all this time that film is yet to be subtitled?

The night before, I went to watch "SETEM" with my sibs, and I further elaborate that in SHAILADEN. Then, balik umah siapkan that thing, and then the next day without any sleep at all, went to PWTC with Mun to check out the CIC thing. Didn't eat anything before going, so it was like, no sleep and no eat. Wow, I am one step away from total destruction of my own body. It's a to and fro thing. CIC - SME - PNS - makan - surau - PNS again - CIC again. Then we checked out some shoplots for the best location. Sempat singgah sekolah rendah, gilek ah... dah berabad aku tak tengok Sekolah Raja Muda tu. Kecik je rupenye... hahaha

Was a bit hard, since I was actually like a zombie, but at the same time still have to think and participate. Can't let Mun do all the work (neh, Mun did all the asking anyway. She's the one with a company anyway).

Ugh I am so haggard I can't even be funny.

Question anyone?

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 17:00:42 GMT

There are 3 questions I really really really hate and usually I do not want to answer. But since we are human and society dictates that we be courteous and all jolly, I still have to answer with such perkiness. These are questions I deemed too personal, too stupid or too it's-none-of-your-business-ey.

1. How much is your salary?
"How much do you make?" or "You must be rich, right?" or "How much did they pay you?" I don't like questions about the dough. What I make is none of other people's business. And I do hate all those "You must be rich" thingy which usually presented with a smile and the abominable words of "Bolehlah belanja makan..."

I mean, you can say that once. I will treat people when I can afford it. You know I'm not stingy in that sense. But it's annoying when every time we see that person and all he/she could say is "Bolehlah belanja makan...", "Oh, Shai belanja makan...", "Hari ni kena belanja makan." I mean, how about "Hello, how are you?" or "How's life?" or "Did you shoot anyone today?" ANYTHING!

I really hate it when people ask about my salary. I don't like to talk about it, and I hate it when people assume I'm rich and then whine at me about how not-enough it is to be paid RM2,000 per month and said that since I work 3 companies I must be fucking rich. I hate it because it made me realise how little my monthly pay is and the fact that that person will remind me that I have to pay LOADS of bills, give some to my parents, pay some hutang and always ended up with one single note.
I should use that note to slaughter people. Death by papercut.

2. When is your sister gonna get married?
I DON'T FUCKING KNOOOOOWWWW.... Stop asking me that. Ask her yourself. I mean, there are lots of other social questions. Ask me when I will get married, I sure will answer that for you, sarcasm or not. But never ask me when is my sister gonna get married. If I can answer that, I sure can answer it for everybody else. Heck, I can even be a seer and wear like a gypsy with a crystal ball. I know sometimes the question is just to be nice, to say that not only they remember me, they also remember my sister. But please, ask other stuff.

My sister's well being is not my business, and so it's not yours too.

3. You are a novelist?
Is it so otherwordly to have that as a job? They always say that with that look, you know... that "Oh my, another one of that imaginary jiwang karat person who has no life" look and cynicism. Well, hey, at least I got free money every three months. What do you have, smart ass?

Anyway, Sani asked me if I would start a fanpage at Facebook. I thought about that once before, when I joined Addamz' fanpage, no matter if I never (or WILL NEVER) go to clubs or see him in action. But you know what they say, you have to respect your best friend's choice of a boyfriend (Chaq and a dj with a tattoo is such a weird combination but what the heck, right?). I told him that it would be awkward for me to start my own fanpage since my third book is still with the editor and everything. And anyway, who makes their own fanpage? Usually people have others to do it for them.

Well, at least I know Sani will join if I make one.

Let's see now... activities of the weekend will be:
- Editing some morons crappy job (hah, like I never do crappy moronic job la kan... bahahaha) for DBP
- Go to PWTC for that CIC Exhibition thing with Mun and Nad. Then maybe Kopitiam-ing...
- TBC = any adhoc things
- Konon nak pergi tengok "Setem"... entah bila entah

Babi-babi Kehidupan a.k.a. Jantan Jalanan Jahanam

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 04:59:33 GMT

(No, I'm not apologetic about the title)

Lepak kenirojesing dengan Iza hari ni.

Panas gak la bontot kan, duk situ sampai dua jam, borak sambil check internet. Dari Keni tu kosong, sampaila dipenuhi orang keja makan lunch kitorang lepak kat situ. Borak, lepas geram, sesi chipsmore, almaklumlah wanita bertuah tersebut kan baru balik dari Oz. Ha. Temankan survey jam tanganlah, beli kasut, and pastu gi solat kat Masjid Shah Alam. Amik wudhu kat tingkat bawah, sekali panjat tangga macam bersenam masuk "The Biggest Loser" dah aku rasa. Sampai kat bahagian perempuan masjid tu, terus aku baring. Elok je bawah papan tanda tulis "Dilarang baring atau tidur di dalam masjid".

Hoh, yelah... yang korang pi buat tangga sebanyak2nye tu buat apa? Duk menapak naik mestila penat, mestila nak baring. Ingat ni Thaipusam kat Batu Caves ke ape. Elok ade lif, rosak plak.

(Ye, walaupun umah saya dengan masjid tu ade la sejengkal je, saya solat kat rumah aje).

Pastu pergi makan aiskrim kon dengan Iza depan masjid. Seronok woi, makan aiskrim depan masjid negeri tu, sebab dengan angin sepoi-sepoi bahasa, redup nyaman je, maklumlah, konsep masjid dalam taman.

Malam tadi gilek ah. Mimpi tak boleh bangun dari tidur, lepas tu fight sungguh2 dan bangun, tengok muka dalam cermin belah kiri mata bengkak. Then tutup mata, kembali semula atas katil. Still tak boleh bangun. Fight lagi sampai boleh, tengok muka dalam cermin, bengkak mata kiri dah kurang. Lepas tu tup-tup atas katil balik. Lepas tu terjaga dari tidur. Terus aku capai cermin tengok muka, alhamdulillah... mimpi buruk aje.

Vivid gila. Aku rasa mesti ade kena-mengena dengan haramjadah tu.

Sambil duduk depan TV termenung, tiba-tiba telefon bunyik. Tim call. Aku bukan nak kata apa, tapi mungkin sebab friendship kitorang dari darjah satu sampai sekarang ni, membuatkan dia ada telepati. Setiap kali aku ada problem ke, sakit hati dengan orang ke, rasa nak bunuh seekor haramjadah ke, mesti tup-tup dia call.

"Aku rasa macam tak sedap hati je. Kau ada apa-apa nak bagitau aku ke?" dia tanya.
Bagai nak rak aku gelak. Bagus betul instinct pompuan ni.

Aku memang tak boleh function kalau Tim tak ada. Dia yang paling faham perangai aku, cara aku berfikir, apa aku simpan dalam hati. Maklumlah, sejak darjah satu, dia yang jadi bodyguard aku. Dia yang pi marah bebudak yang buli aku, sampai diorang menangis. Kat sekolah menengah pun macam tu. Kalau ada apa-apa persembahan, aku yang buat skrip, dia yang jadi pengarah - sebab aku ada idea, tapi dia yang selalu gerakkan.

Jadi walaupun dia duduk jauh, dia yang paling banyak tahu masalah aku. Rasa tenanglah jugak lepas borak sekejap. Sekurang-kurangnya aku tak ada rasa nak pergi tembak kepala seekor engineer guna senapang gajah. Pointless pun. Hanya dengan memahamkan aku tentang satu dialog dari filem "Forbidden Kingdom", Tim berjaya buat aku cool down. Kelakar, kan? Punyela crappy cerita tu, tapi rupenye boleh plak jadi hikmah. Tapi kalau ada lagi jantan-jalanan-jahanam nak menduga kesabaran aku lagi lepas ni, memang aku babikan je semuanya. Forbidden Kingdom tak Forbidden Kingdom.

Bincang sikit fasal CIC dengan Tim. Aku haraplah sangat projek ni berjaya. Kalau projek ni berjaya, semua masalah aku selesai. Tak payah aku mengadap segala jenis mak nenek isu-isu peribadi yang bodoh lagi maha sengal ini. Mengadap budak-budak tadika jela hari-hari, sambil ajar diorang yang hidup ini sangat indah bila banyak babi-babi boleh dimusnahkan... haiwannya, hatta manusia bertopengkan babi sekalipun.

Tadi tengok Spongebob, gelak ramai-ramai kat dialog ni...
Squidward: Patrick, get out of my way, don't you know I'm claustrophobic?
Patrick: What's a claustrophobic?
Spongebob: It means, that he's afraid of Santa Claus
Squidward: That's not what it is.
Patrick: Ho! Ho! Ho!
Squidward: That doesn't work.

Aku bukan Alice

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 17:23:27 GMT

(Ugh, that four cups of green tea at Hajime detox me like hell...)

AMARAN: Sila baca entry ini dengan cheerful, cuz THAT'S HOW I WROTE IT! (perlu marah ke? hahaha)

God works in the most mysterious ways.

As cliche as it sounds, it really is true. I have been looking for that weather window, keep looking for it, thinking that when that door shuts on my face, there must be a window. There should be, because He's not cruel. But you keep on finding it and it cannot be found. And then you realise that a window is always there. You just can't see it because you kept picturing how it should look like. You want it to be big, with a mahogany frame, smell of fresh coated paint, and that when you open it, you will see a beautiful meadow, or a blue lagoon, or gardens as far as the eyes can see.

The truth is my window is just a little rabbit hole, smell of dirt and grass. But it is still a window, and it let me out.

I had been in Wonderland. I pissed the Queen of Hearts, I drink with the Mad Hatter, I fell in love with the Cheshire Cat, I painted the roses red, I was curious enough to ask Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb. I chase the White Rabbit, become too big for my own good, and feel too small to achieve anything. I was alone in the world of crazies. I was lost, because the Cheshire Cat pointed me to two different directions and I chose the wrong one. It was a dead end.

But the thing is, you just have to find the rabbit hole.

The rabbit hole are my friends.
I am blessed to have them guide me to the right way - be it in harsh cynical ways. I asked for a window, and I imagine what it is. But the truth is, I was never alone. The fact that as soon as bad karmas coming my way, I realise that they keep coming back - friends I mean. I met Zunn again, who works just near my office. I reunited with my 20niners - the most ludacris, tongue-in-cheek, rudely interesting people who are never afraid to tell me, "Kau ni bodohlah, Shai.". Iza is back from Oz. Tim, Mun, Nad, well... they're always there. My blogbuddies too, Masni and Jis. Chaq... these are all people who knows me and interpretes who I am in the weirdest ways.

"I gots muh gurfrenssss...." as the sistahs would say.

Went out with Zunn today, and at 5pm while everybody is working, we went for a cuppa at DOME, Subang Parade. Weird huh, how I can still go to places even when I am broke. That's the beauty of doing what you love. Bills give you migraine, but work seldom does. She works in an IT company and do freelance for PAS & PKR... Yes, we are talking about the same Zunn who once stuck Mahathir pics all over her stuff and felt weird how can a drop dead die-hard fan of Mahathir like her can be friends with a drop dead Nik Aziz supporter like me. Now it's more like, "You work for PAS?" (cue Shai gelak guling2).

I like talking with Zunn. She has the weirdest neo-pseudo-counterfeministic theory (and you know how I like to hang out with theoretical people), like,
"Shai, we are like the sky. No matter how many planes flew by, no matter how many storms and lightning went pass, we're still at the top, and nobody can bring us down."
"Yeah baybeh..." jawab Shai sambil hirup her honeycomb latte sambil gelak.

Or;
"Women need men. Those who said that they can hold their own are ridiculous egoistical liars."
"That's right. It's just whether you need man desperately or not." balas Shai sambil makan chicken pot pie.
"Right on."

or:
"Come on, next time you just come with me. We will go kayaking, hiking, futsal, dinners where there are lots of wealthy corporate guys."
"Woi, I don't do rebounds. And I don't go for wealthy men. But kayaking and hiking sounds friggin fabulous." Shai gelak lagi.

Ah, for once, I am not the one with theories. I am just the listener who enjoys great discussion.
Yeah, I am not a believer of rebound relationship. I have been a writer too long to be listening to relationship issues to know that that is an evil way to cope with stuff. I should write a book, you know.

"REBOUND - WHY IT SHOULD ONLY BE APPLICABLE IN BASKETBALL AND NOT RELATIONSHIP."

Bahahahaha (bile fikirkan, dah berapa banyak tajuk buku aku buat da...)

I do realise that since being this hobo-worker, I have been more active in my daily life than I would be in a million years. I go out every week (weekends or not), I socialise more, I do activities that I used to be too lazy to do. Imagine if I have a driving license....... owh... there will be no beach that I would not go to, roller coasters that I don't ride, skies I don't scrape with my kite, cinemas I don't go, mosques I don't take ablution at, dinners "with wealthy corporate guys" I wouldn't attend (haha).

Just you wait little driving license. You and I will have one daym good lifetime.

Gotta go. I have a 'how-to-plan-a-wedding-but-actually-alasan-untuk-kenirojesing' meeting with Iza at Alam Sentral tomorrow (sejak bila entah aku berkecimpung dalam bidang perancangan perkahwinan... oh ye, sejak jadi hobo).

New blog song: "Khabarkan" by Luscious.
Sile beli album yang original sebab kalau tak Ruz atau Brin akan bunuh aku. (kemungkinan besar Brin la walaupon bukan die yang nyanyi... hahaha)

DIALOGUE OF THE DAY
(dalam kereta baru balik dari Bangi)
Ayah: Alamak, tadi aku masukkan air dalam cerek lupe nak masak.
Emak: Ek enna, jadi air dalam cerek atas dapur tu belum masakla?
Ayah: Ha'ah, aku lupe nak hidupkan api.
Emak: Awak ni! Tipah ye ye je minum air tu, ingat air masak yang dah sejuk. Air paip lagi rupenye!
Ayah: Alah, kang balik rumah kang awak letak jela bontot awak atas api dapur, panaskan balik.
(masukkan gamba Shai gelak macam nak mampos disini)

The ReUnion

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 16:37:08 GMT

Sara, Shai, Chom, Brin & Faie (depan)

Once upon a time there was one apartment-like room in Fatimah Az-Zahrah College in Matrics, IIUM SS17 PJ. The number on the door was 209. It contains 9 housemates. Two of them from Kelantan (one very feministic economic student, and a Human Sciences student who wants to marry Mike Shinoda). Two were former Xavier cheerleaders of Convent Bukit Nenas (both got engineering but change to law and pharmacy respectively), one girl from Bangi whose parents are disciplinarians at home and comes to UIA to have her full freedom studying economy. One from Pahang, who wanted more than anything to become a magistrate. One very junior student from Sabah, majoring in English. Another two are seniors; one quiet law-student from Pahang and the other; a crazy Freemasonry-addicted Political Science student that comes from a religious school.

Yes, it was a house of mixed 'heritage'. The country lasses, the classic urban girls, wannabes, conservatives, feminists, traditionalists, terrorists, crazed homo-sapiens.

It was the best room I've ever resided.

And while talking to Fa'ie, Brin thought about a reunion.
And she called me one Thurday evening.
"Kak Shai, you're free tomorrow right?"
"What about it?"
"Sara's birthday is tomorrow and I want to make a surprise for her by making this 20niners reunion."
"Where?"
"At this Japanese restaurant, Hajime, in Ampang."
"Brin, that's too far away."
"It's not. Where are you living?"
"Shah Alam."
"Oooookay."

Then she called again and said that her boyfriend agreed to take me home after the party. I was like, "Heh?" I am not going to make a guy suffer just so I can eat some udons and teriyaki. Then she called again (Brin being the world's greatest kaki pujuk) and said that I can sleep at her house afterwards.

I agreed, just because I haven't seen these girls for quite a while.

Chomel was a bit late so Faie asked me to go first. I was like, "Great, why the hell people always leave me alone with someone else's boyfriend... you know how I hate to trigger conversation!"
And since Brin's boyfriend is as quiet as me, imagine how I tried to break the ice. You know when you are both quite, it's always YOU being the one who has to break the tension. It's like;
"You're just back from work?"
"Yeah...uhm..."
Silence.
"You are... Faie?"
"No. Shai."
"I see......... you're working?"
"Yeah... yeah. I do freelance."
"I see......................... of what kind?"
"Subtitling, movie reviews, short stories and all that. I'm a writer."
"Uhuh........................ I did subtitling too once."
"Yeah?"
"Yup. Untuk CD cetak rompak."
"Ah....."
I can now imagine why they suit each other, the quiet Jb and the talkative Brin.

And yes, it was a big surprise for Sara. She just got back from Russia for a holiday, studying medicine there. It wasn't only us. There were her other friends too. Tim couldn't make it, so it was just me, Faie and Chomel from 209. Sempat reminisce old times in 209, like:

a) there's this guy dormitories across the road from us and they like to suluh-suluh lampu at us. It was pretty annoying that one late night, Brin switched off all the lights, and some of us wear our white telekung and stand at the balcony facing them like several white ghosts. That kinda freaked them out and no more main-suluh-mengada-ngada anymore.

b) One night, Chom was lying down on her bed studying. I had a pretty long hair at that time, so I put it all in front, leaving only a parted side for my right eye, and peek at her from above her bed. She raised her eyes, saw this all-hair figure and screamed her heart out. I had a migraine later on because she screamed too loud for my brain to handle. So much for being a ghost.

c) Sara, who studies Pharmacy has this giant hard-covered textbook that she felt was too heavy to carry. So instead she ripped off each topic from its binder, stapled them together and bring it to class.

d) Farah, scared of roaches (which at that time I made it a rule for everybody to call a roach as "gokiburi"), suddenly found a new strength to hit one with the broom when I told her,
"Imagine it to be Ustaz Zairul."

e) Sara and I would take shifts to go and control the TV at the TV room so that we can watch "Betty La Fea" before the mandarin-drama-series gang take control of the remote. Sometimes we even stole the RC's batteries so they can't change channel.

f) Asiah was the quietest girl in the room. The only time she turned into a maniac was when a stalker kept calling her again and again that we made Farah answer the phone and told him off. Cussing included.

Everybody's still the same, Sara enthused.
"Except for Kak Shai, you are kinda quiet."
They wanted to make Sara do something on her birthday but couldn't think of any. Brin turned to me and went,
"Kak Shai, come on. You're the one with all the ideas. What should we make Sara do?"
"I am?"
"Of course you are."

Which then make me realise that I was. I was not as I was when we were in 209. During those years I was the one with the weirdo plans or stupid theories. Like, making Fa'ie said "Mike Shinoda" 40 times because I said calling the guy of your dream's name 40 times will make him fall in love with you. I made them go bonkers about finding Freemason symbols in movies and buildings. I created this whole notice board and putting weird notes with Fa'ie. I was the one telling them I can finish a glass of tea mixed with soy sauce, and did it. I become the resident ghost story teller and scared the shit out of them. Among the few minor things.

Where did all those years go?

I guess during those time I was still someone who just graduated from high school with the thought that the world is her oyster. No, I never thought about making it a better place ala Michael Jackson, but surely I believe in the purity of the world. But later on you gain weight and realised that physical beauty exceeds everything. You learn that the world is full of comedy, satirical comedy. And then you come in contact with the inner layer of the "real" world, and you realise that it's not beautiful; that somehow being called "oi anak dara" is a privilege, not a common term the elders used to say. That while there is only one model who are facing the whip for public alcohol consummation, you can actually list down names of those who should get them too and it's a very long list at that. That you can no longer walk alone in the park like you used to without getting scared.

And you envy those who still believe in the goodness of people - like those who believe Fasha Sandha is a good girl or that a Muslim would never miss Friday prayers. Yearrright.

Later that night, Brin and bf drop us off at IIUM, where we spent the night at Chom's room in Mahallah Hafsah. The building is now re-painted light brown as opposed to its white-green look a few years back. Had a chat with both Faie and Chomel - one works as a research exec in NST while the latter is a Master student. It had been quite a while, and they asked me the usual... like, where did all those Rapunzel gone?
"I cut it. I quit my job and decided to wear my hair short."
"With that hairdo, you look like a kid."
...and how did I lost the extra pounds. I told them.
"You sure make it sound like it's funny." says Chom.
"Well, you got to have the humour to cope. That's the only way."

Oh yeah, since kitorang dah menyebabkan staf2 Hajime balik lambat, aku iklankanla tempat diorang. For great Japanese delicacies, visit Hajime... details can be found at http://hajimerestaurant.com